Things We Hate #2: Donuts at the Office

It is a well established fact that with the possible exception of someone being fired, no news in the white collared world travels faster than that of donuts, bagels, muffins or any other breakfast treat brought into the office by some vendor, client, boss, or someone paying penance for inconveniencing everyone else somehow. Hungry denizens of the cubicle world descend on the treats like vultures on fresh road kill, everyone knowing full well the ratio of donuts to people is simply impossible. Most of the time, the tasty treats are not long for the world, usually picked clean in a matter of minutes. I challenge anyone to present a situation more maddening than arriving a few minutes late, perhaps due to the fact that you were actually being productive for just a little while and being welcomed with this:

Whhhhyyy????

What the hell? There are two possible explanations I can venture for this all too common situation, which seems to happen at least 60% of the time someone brings donuts to the Office.

1. Someone trying to be “nice” didn’t want to take the last one, and ripped it in half to leave the other half for someone else.

2. Some fatty feels guilty about taking a whole donut and only takes half. Although I’m sure the aforementioned fatty probably made at least one other trip to the donut box for whole ones when he or she didn’t think anyone was watching.

Little do these people realize the fallout they cause from such an act. Everyone in the office who missed out on the donuts, or who decides to go for seconds later in the day is doomed to walk up to the box with high hopes only to find them dashed by a sorry looking half donut. It would be way too easy to just eat the whole last donut and throw the box away so as to prevent everyone else from false hope the entire afternoon. Instead, the janitor is destined to throw the stale half out at the end of the day (or does he eat it when nobody is looking?) because no self respecting human being would ever take half a donut from a box, thereby leaving everyone in the office doomed to walk by the donut table and open the box only to be greeted with horrible disappointment.

Half donut eater: I hate you.

keithage

I would prefer the fatty at the minimum If they choose not to eat the last half of the doughnut to just throw it away.
keithage

Or just eat the whole damn doughnut and give up your 500 calorie Venti Latte in the afternoon, or the tub of Ben and Jerry’s with a can ‘diet’ coke you plan on eating for dinner. Stop inconvienencing the rest of us with your personal issues.
Gutter

I am surprised to learn that the “half donut” epidemic is not something that happens only in my office. Not only does someone leave only half, but the half they leave is all mangled and smashed (much like the picture in the posting). First off why would anyone take half a donut which was addressed in the post and second, if someone was hungry enough to risk eating the mysterious half donut, why would you eat it with a finger print smashed into the donut! What’s the matter fatty, did your fat fingers get in the way? Everyone already knows your fat and ate half the donuts anyway, might as well finish the last one off. As you can tell the “half-donut” epidemic is a big problem in our office.
flickerbock

I usually solve this problem by taking the full box of doughnuts to my desk. Fat kid wins!
http://www.crujonessociety.com E Dagger

Limon, please tell me this is an actual picture from your office.

Another thing that plagues my office is whenever we have client lunch meetings, a bunch of food always gets ordered. This is fine, except for the rest of the week our secretaries always put out in the kitchen whatever remains un-eaten from the initial meeting.

So for the rest of the week everyone has to look at some god-awful fruit salad or potato salad that no one wanted in the first place. Just throw it away for God’s sake. You’re making my Lean Cuisine look even less appealing.
http://www.crujonessociety.com Senor Limon

I wish it were, I’ve never had the presence of mind to snap a photo when I find a half donut. Most likely because I find it hard to concentrate through a fit of homicidal rage. Interestingly enough, this photo didn’t take long to find on google. In a way its nice to hear I’m not the only one affected by this problem.
daggersgirl

I know I am a little behind on commenting on this, but this actually happened with Sandwiches at my office today, even bigger eww than then donuts…
http://www.crujonessociety.com Senor Limon

Gross! did someone actually rip a sandwich apart? What the heck is wrong with people?
Tron

I must live in the twilight zone, not only did I get 2 donuts yesterday when the winner of the NCAA pool brought them in, but of the 2 dozen there were 6 left at the end of the day. I nearly took them home but after the other two and several raids to the candy droor in the plotter room I was already shaking uncontrolably. Maybe the janitors got to have a half donut fiasco.
jitterrawks

The one thing worse than seeing the half donut…seeing the empty box, and as you dejectedly walk back to your space in cube land, seeing that jerk in *insert department here* eating a donut, with one set aside for “later” or they’re “saving it” for someone else. Seriously, I have accepted the fact that I’m getting fat and lazy in my office environment, and it’s people like that who ruin my shot. But the half donut totally sucks…you can never tell if it was the dude who doesn’t wash his hands after the bathroom that ripped it in half…wow, I just turned myself off of donuts for a day.
keithage

I do like the fact that I can leave a half eaten box of chocolates in my office and it will be gone by 10. Its a great way to get rid of crap nobody I know would eat

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Things We Hate #2: Donuts at the Office

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