Cru Jones Society

(This is part two in a three part series of the sports loved by CJS. Oddly BMX racing is not one of them. Part three will be posted on 4-23) 

The Holy Grail

Walking around my apartment, looking at the posters, pictures, and other various objects that decorate my home it’s abundantly clear that I love two things: beer (doi) and hockey. So with the Frozen Four having been here in Denver (Tough break Notre Dame, now you gotta fetch the puck bitch) and the Stanley Cup Playoffs in full swing, (4 wins down, 12 more to go baby!) it’s time to talk hockey.

My love of hockey resembles in a few ways my love of punk rock, (that’s right Keithage, punk rock.) It’s fast, aggressive, and fuck you that’s why.

There’s a small piece of hard rubber, which resembles a Hostess Ding Dong, zooming around the rink. Behind the puck there are ten athletic men racing at top speed to get to it.  And they don’t slow down after reaching the puck. It’s this constant speed, high energy, and movement that holds my attention. I know that after six seconds of action there won’t be a thirty-second break so we can see what just happened while a obnoxious, overweight, and over rated former coach tells us exactly what we’re seeing. Dammit! John Madden shut up!

I wish some one would cross check him.

Which brings me to the aggressiveness of the sport. One is allowed to slam into another player, to bang him against the boards, they’re even allowed to fight (somewhat.) Sounds like pure chaos, but there are rules.

What it comes down to, as Senor Limon stated in Why I Love MMA, we, as humans, want to see violence. And what awe to see people fighting while on ice, like real fisticuffs type fighting.

It’s not just the ability to fight on the ice that amazes me. They control the puck with a long stick while keeping their balance, and speed. And need be, they can stop on a dime (except for that kid in the “Mighty Ducks.”) All of which is done on ice more gracefully than I could ever do on flat, sturdy ground. (What’s my problem?)

In addition to the aforementioned feats, the skill it takes to put that tiny puck into the net is phenomenal. Sure soccer has the same basic concept, but here’s what I don’t get about that, in soccer the goal is bigger, and the goal tender is smaller, yet the score is lower, or even non-existent. What’s the deal Pelé?

Hockey may lack South American players, like Pelé, but it makes up for it with players from Canada, and Europe (the good part of Europe.) Having international players who haven’t fully mastered the English language makes for some fun interviews and press conferences.

Would Patrick Roy’s (pronounced WAH) quip to Jeremy Roenick still be good without that accent Roy had? Well yeah, because Roenick’s a lil’ bitch. But that French-Canadian voice of Roy made it fantastic.

Sure there’s plenty of trash talking, that’s part of sports. But what hockey players are more humble than players of the other major sports. They celebrate a goal like everyone in sports, but it’s not a big spectacle. They don’t celebrate every little hit the make, like football players do. “You’re going to dance for that tackle you just made? Isn’t it your job to tackle? Stop dancing and line up so the game can progress.”

What if everyone did that in their jobs?

“The fries are crisp! Yeah boooyyy!”

“…and sixty four cents makes correct change! YEAH! What? What ya got?”

It’s not just that. There have been times when a player will correct the scoring saying they didn’t get the goal, but some body else did. But I think the greatest example comes from the 2001 Stanley Cup. When a team wins the cup, it’s tradition for the captain to accept the cup. Captain Joe Sakic accepted the cup and couldn’t wait to hand it over to Ray Bourque, who in his long career with The Boston Bruins, never won a cup. Joe knew how important it was for Ray, and selflessly got the cup to Ray to hoist above his head. Still my favorite moments in sports, and still gets me misty eyed.

Incredible how sports can do that.

Can’t end a sports article without a prediction eh? Avs in 5 games over Habs.

Keep you stick on the ice.