This, is my car:

In the interest of saving everyone some time (especially me), I’d like to go ahead and answer your next few questions before you have the chance. I’m getting a little tired of answering the same four stupid questions every time someone sees the car for the first time, maybe I’ll print out this post and attach it to my windshield.

1. Yes, I actually like this car.

2. Yes, It gets good gas mileage.

3. Yes, it probably would fit in the bed of your truck. That’s a nice big truck you have there by the way, sorry about the penis.

4. No, I don’t really care if you’re thinking about getting one for your girlfriend/wife/whatever.

Now, Interestingly enough, questions 1 and 2 are the ones most commonly asked by random people approaching me on the street. I’m happy enough to entertain the questions, since it really is just someone expressing curiosity about the car. Questions 3 and 4 are the ones that I’ve really got a problem with, and is more commonly raised by people that I know who are seeing my car for the first time in some crude attempt to bond with me over the car. I don’t want to bond with you over my car.