Cru Jones Society

Do you guys know a fella by the name of Bill Brasky?

BILL BRASKY?!?!

Bill Brasky is a son of a bitch.

Best damn salesman in the office!

They say he goes about 7′ 10″, 590!

Brasky had scoliosis as a kid and cured himself by eating nothing but Kellogg’s Product 19 and Maker’s Mark!

He once menstruated on a dare!

I saw Brasky stick 15 lbs. of fireworks in his mouth and light them off. An Air Force captain who was standing nearby said it was the prettiest display he ever laid eyes on.

Brasky’s Adam’s apple is actually The Heart of the Ocean jewel from Titanic!

He ate Joan Lunden!

Did you guys know that Brasky is the only person besides the president to have ever been allowed to carry the nuclear football? When they handed it to him, he did the Ickey Shuffle!

I once saw him shove two basketballs in his nostrils while playing “Smoke on the Water” on his butt cheeks.

He regulates his blood sugar using a Geiger counter.

One time Brasky asked me to check his prostate during a sales call. When I pulled out my hand, I was wearing a Cartier watch! Increased my sales 27% that quarter!

They hid Jimmy Hoffa in Brasky’s colon until they found a place to bury him.

Yep, that Brasky is a son of a bitch!

TO BILL BRASKY!!!!!