(This is the fifth and final part in an on going series dedicated to the many years, going on 8 now, that I have spent as a retail whore.)

I fell a little like this

At press time I have three more shifts left working retail. Ever! That’s right, as of 11pm Friday I will no longer be working in the wonderful world of retail. I have a grown up job and my life in retail is over. This is my first new job in 8 years. I’m a little frightened but mostly excited.

On May 30, 2008, I strolled into the retail store with my held high. In my hand I had a two-week notice. I walked into the office where I found two of my managers working on performance reviews, how appropriate. They were both upset that I was giving them that paper. They asked if I wanted to stay even just part time. I answered with a resounding no.

I went with my last choice and wrote them a decent, standard letter of resignation. What I really wanted to do was use one of the credit card applications and in thick black marker write on it “Fuck you! I’m out. Love, Lee S. Hart.” Or do something Dagger told me about years ago. Walk in with a spoon and just set it my manager’s desk. Wait for them to ask about it, then reply with “It’s a spoon, so you can eat my ass! I quit!” As much fun as either of those would be, I really don’t have that in me.

What’s incredible about that place, and something I won’t miss is the gossip mill. I told my two managers, and my one good friend, no one else, when I quit. By the end of the day everybody knew. The best response came from another manager, the one I could joke around with the most. She walked up to me and said, “I heard your quitting, homo!” I haven’t been called a homo since 7th grade.

Many other associates tell me that I am abandoning them, or am a traitor. You know what, fuck you. Just because I have enough smarts and ability to find better work, and know how to leave a sinking ship, doesn’t make me a traitor, it makes you an idiot.

Now obviously I won’t miss these people, or the customers, or anything else I’ve griped about over the past few retail post. But there were good time I had in retail. Hell, I’ve met some of my best friends while working this job. Even a couple of girlfriends, though they turned out to be awful human beings, live and learn though, eh?

I will always be appreciative of the experiences and the opportunities that retail has given me. But there comes a time when enough is enough, and its time for a change. For me that time is now, and I couldn’t be happier.

I’m still not sure what I’m going to do with myself with every evening and weekend off. It will be a little discombobulating when I don’t have to get up at 3 in the morning and be at work at 5 in the morning the day after Thanksgiving.

I’ll just cross those bridges when I come to them I guess. Right now it is way to nice out to think about cold November.

With the warm weather outside and knowing that in tow short weeks I would be done, and moving on to something better, I felt like I was finishing high school again. Much like the end of high school it is difficult to stay motivated, and caring. I often consider not showing up, or just ignoring policies completely. Sometimes I’ll do the latter then think, what are they going to do, fire me?

Well they can’t, because I quit!

When I started My Life in Retail I didn’t have any idea what the final installment would be. I never would have thought it would be this. It is really incredible to see just how much can change in five weeks. So I say so long to the life I knew as I embark on what I hope will be an incredible new voyage. With 8 years in retail, I still have a whole cache of topics stored away, so expect periodically for these to pop here at Cru Jones Society. But for now I am done with it.

I can tell you this much, Boyz to Men were not talking about leaving a retail job when they said it’s so hard to say goodbye to yesterday.

Lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com

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