Cru Jones Society

Zebrahead released a new album, entitled “Phoenix”, on Tuesday and I haven’t been so excited for new release since Rancid’s “Indestructible” five years ago. I planned to have “Phoenix” in my disc player before the day was through. Little did I realize that this seemingly simple scheme was going to prove more difficult than previously predicted.

Like I said it was Tuesday, which means I spent the day at work. So I would have to wait until later to rock the new disc. A trip to the post office on the 16^th St. Mall opened a window of opportunity, however, which could fastify my listening of the new disc. After completing my task of dropping off the package I returned to the street and was greeted by the oversized, bright, obnoxious sign of the Virgin Megastore.

Let’s break this down: mega means large or giant. Store is a place where things are sold and bought. And virgin is someone who has never had sex. So I’m thinking the Virgin Megastore is a pretty sweet place. I’m not an idiot, just a wishful thinker.

I enter the store thinking it would be a quick trip, grab the CD, pay, and I’m out.

I scan the new release rack right in the front of the store. Nothing. I head back to the “Z” section, one copy of “Broadcast to the World” rests among dozens of Frank Zappa CDs. On the off-chance I overlooked it, I go back to the new release rack. I carefully read the front of every disc on the rack. It’s still not there. Defeated, I decided to go back to work.

Instead of acutally working, I develop the plan to head over to Best Buy after work to buy the album. Best Buy is where I usually get my music and has rarely let me down when I’m looking for a disc. I roll up gleaming with excitement. Once I again I scan the new release rack. Once again, nothing. I head over to the “Z” section, this time not a single copy of any Zebrahead disc, just more of Frank Zappa’s ugly face. I check a few other places, an end cap here, a rack in the aisle, but no Zebrahead. Usually in Best Buy I’m harassed every 5 minutes by an associate. On this particular day it took nearly 15 minutes before anyone said anything. When some girl finally did, I asked her if they had it. She checked the computer system and told me that they had one on order and it should be in in about a week, and the other nearby stores are more or less the same. I say thanks and start towards the door.

Before I get there I realize there is something I always do in Best But that I haven’t done this time. I start looking through the DVDs. There are four DVDs I’m searching for: “Hey Dude,” “Salute your Shorts,” “Ski Patrol,” and “Rad.” (I signed a petition, and I want results, dammit!) To my dismay, but not my surprise, none of those DVDs where there.

Across the parking lot sits a mall. I thought about what stores were in there and if it was worth checking. What the hell, I was already out, and I was really looking forward to hearing some new Zebrahead songs, so fuck it, let’s go to the mall.

My first idea was to try Hot Topic since they carry only music by punk, ska, and metal artists. I loathe Hot Topic and was immediately upset I was inside one. This experience was only going to serve in reinforcing those statements. The shitty music they had playing was too loud. I barely heard the goth dressed douche nozzle welcome me to the store. The CDs are a big clusterfuck of disorganization, resulting in the total lack of a “Z” section. And for that matter there wasn’t a “W”, “X”, or “Y” section. So I got the fuck out of there and vowed never to return.

My next idea was to try FYE – bastion of the overpriced. Limon mentioned that in his little poe-dunk town, he has found non-mainstream music at FYE, so I gave it a shot. I didn’t remember where exactly it was, but I knew when I got to the Lego store I had gone too far, so I headed back the other way and when I saw the Hot Topic sign again I realized something was wrong. I found a directory and searched for FYE. It wasn’t on there. FYE had left this mall.

Well shit.

Target is an anchor at this mall. I knew it was a longshot, but I headed there anyway. Just as I thought, they didn’t have it. Now a broken man, I left the mall. I thought about checking the nearby Circuit City. But instead of wasting my time there, I made a call. After choosing movies and music from the automated message, it was damn near the last choice; I was put on hold only to have the phone answered by the wrong department. I was put on hold for much longer but finally someone who could help me answered. I was put on hold again while he went to check for the disc. He returned only to tell me, in his  effeminate voice that they only had “Broadcast to the World” and that it looks like that one was released in 2006. Yeah, thanks, dummy. I know. I thanked him for checking and hung up.

I suddenly remembered a music store that I used to go, I didn’t remember what it was called but I knew where it was. I hoped it was still there. It was my last shot. If it wasn’t there then I wasn’t getting the new Zebrahead that night and I’d end up at home crying into my Hungry Man dinner. I drove over to Wheat Ridge and my luck suddenly turned. The music shop was there, and it’s called Angelo’s.

I went and like I had done several times earlier I scanned the new release rack. Nothing. Dammit!

The clerk asks if he can help. I tell him what I’m looking for. He checks the system and tells me they haven’t received it. He thinks it’s odd which prompts him to ask the other clerk. The other clerk says they have, but haven’t checked them in yet.

Hallelujah!

He searches the boxes and finds it. He rings me up, and even offers to open it for me Not only did Angelo’s have exactly what I wanted when all other stores failed, they also had great customer service. I shall be shopping at Angelo’s again.

I got back in my car, popped in the much-anticipated CD, and drove home.

The first song came rocking hard and I knew that my long trek to find this disc was well worth it. I was cemented in that belief as the disc continued to play and brought more rock tastiness.

They say nothing good ever comes easily. And Zebrahead is as good as it gets.

See ya in the pit . . .

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com