Dear news media,

It’s been more than a month with this bullshit, knock it off. Yesterday I went to the front page of the online versions of the Rocky Mountain News, the Denver Post, Yahoo!, MSN, Los Angeles Times, New York Times, and Washington Post. Here is a sampling of the pictures I saw:





Today, it was this poor bastard who looks like he’s either disconcerted by what he sees, or trying not to blow chunks. Possibly both:


The economy is fucked up. We get it.

The stock market continues to slide further into the depths of hell closing yesterday below 10,000 for the first time in over six years. We know.

Many people on the verge of retirement were outright lied to and are basically fucked sideways up shit creek right now. We all understand this.

Find a new way of telling this story. It’s not that I don’t feel bad for the traders – some of whom probably won’t be able to make their calls and will have to find themselves new jobs – I do. It’s just that you’ve shown them almost everyday for the last 30 with essentially the same headline. The story now means nothing. You’ve driven it into the ground to the point of making everyone completely numb to any real wide-ranging effects. As of this writing, the lead story on the front page of the Rocky Mountain News is “Investors can’t shake fear; Dow sheds 300-plus,” which essentially means nothing to me. I don’t even care anymore. The incessant coverage has caused me to shut down emotionally until I hear something new.

There’s a lot more to this story, and quite frankly, there’s a lot more going on in the world besides our “crumbling economy.” Yes, people have lost their homes. Yes, people have lost double-digit percentages of personal wealth. Yes, the problem is now hitting Europe. And yes, everyone is at least a little fucking scared for the future right now. But you’re not helping. Your never-ending blanket coverage has rendered any kind of meaningful exchange about this impossible. Congratulations, media! You win again!

I’m not saying you need to lie us like we’re six years old and tell us everything’s going to be fine. That’d be ridiculous. But toning down the blatant fear-mongering and writing something with some perspective would be appreciated. And ending the picture parade of troubled, forlorn stock brokers would be a great start. 

If you need me, I’m the one in the corner reading the paper with my head in my hands making the Sandra Oh Face looking at a picture of a dejected stokebroker with his head in his hands. Hopefully for the last time.


E Dagger