Cru Jones Society

The trek home can involve many obstacles, ask the three men above. For most of us the main obstacle becomes these pesky hours that we are required to put in to keep communism down. But don’t fret CJS has shown up once again to help you out. We have a new batch of links to occupy your time. So sit back, enjoy, and don’t let the boss catch ya.

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Let’s start this off with some bad news. Maybe the worst news I have heard all week. Everybody’s favorite sport will be skipping the 2009 season due to financial troubles. That’s right CJS readers; the Arena Football League is forced to cancel the upcoming season. I know this is devastating and the kind of thing you don’t want to hear about around the holidays but we have to be strong. The real tragedy to come from this is now Bon Jovi will probably start making music again.

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As a kid we often wanted to see Rudolph with his bright shiny nose that wasn’t cause from the eggnog like uncle Tony. We’d even settle to see one of the other reindeer, except that jerk Donner with his beady eyes and smug smile. Well some lucky kids in a Michigan school did get a special visit from a deer. What the kids probably weren’t expecting was for said deer to come crashing through the window, again much like uncle Tony. No animals were harmed in this story, well the deer lost a bit of its antler but we don’t think that hurt it, or maybe it did, we’re no zoologist.

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Anyone who has lived in Colorado for any amount of time should be familiar with American Furniture Warehouse owner Jake Jabs, and his menagerie of cats that he stopped using after that Vegas magician was attacked by a large feline. If you have lived in Colorado long enough you are probably familiar with Jake’s daughter who would slash price when she was in charge of the warehouse while Jake was on vacation. But what you may not know was the drug problem she has, the type of drug problem that leads to large coke parties. The rich have such hard problems.

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It’s no secret Guitar Hero is the hottest game at the moment. What is somewhat of a secret are the thoughts the bands have about their songs being on the game. Tim McIlrath of Rise Against shares his here along with some thoughts on literature, politics (of course), and having a band Rise Against once opened for now open for Rise Against.

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Rise Against are vegans and won’t hesitate to stand up for animal rights. This seems to be a growing trend in our modern society, evident by the formation of PETA. Now the company and many animal enthusiasts can continue in their support once they die. PETA teamed with a New Mexico company to build coffins that depict the departed’s devotion to animals. This is important for an item that is buried. It will let all those literate worms know that you lived your life making sure nobody experimented, made clothing from, or ate other worms.

Spell check dose not recognize vegans, therefore we feel that we are obligated to comply with it and not recognize them either.

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There has been a lot of comments on the, um, comment board about how the Cubs and Twins are pretty much awful. Well according to this list they are only overall awful and even their worst seasons are better than other teams’. Before the board is filled with laughter directed towards someone’s beloved A’s remember that the A’s they are talking about are the ones that played in Philly and therefore don’t really count as the A’s. Even with the one bad season the A’s still have more World Series titles than the Twins and Cubs combined.

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Indiana is frowning on smiling. The state is changing their policy for driver license photos. They don’t want people to smile in them. It shouldn’t be that hard, if we lived in Indiana we probably wouldn’t be smiling that much any way.

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We know someone who once stole a poster of a bird from a bar. We know someone who once stole a wooden bird from a bar. Apparently the people we run with have a fetish fro stealing bird related items. Fortunately the fetish hasn’t gone this far, and hopefully it won’t.

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The snow has finally started its stay in our fair state. Even though it can be a bitch to drive and can still be a lot of fun. Here’s a list of things you can do in the snow just in case you’re an idiot or have never been out in the snow. Though snowkiting is a new one to us and it looks pretty damn fun.

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My grandmother is really into tracing the family genealogy. It’s no easy task since Hart is apparently a common name in Canada, a lot of wrestlers and nighttime sunglass wearers. Still it was probably a more straightforward task than what these gentlemen went through. What the story doesn’t tell us is that the researchers also learned they should protect they neck and after the laughter, in fact does come the tears.

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Before we get to the demotivator here’s one last feel good story of mistaken identity. Ok well the part where he almost drowns isn’t too feel good, nor is the ending really, but the rest of the story is kind of adorable.

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Only in America, and maybe Hippo Island.

See ya in the 36 chambers…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com