15 Years and 12 Miles
I find myself on the cusp of another birthday and I’ve been trying to decide how I want to spend it. In doing so I thought about how I spent some past birthdays, which in turn lead me to thinking about various stages of my life. One time particular stuck out. That was 15 years ago, 1994, and I was in the 5th grade. So I thought I’d compare the 5th grade me to the current me. Now hop in the DeLorean or climb into the phone booth and let’s head back to 1994.
Music
1994:
This was the point I really started to draw away from the rap music. I began to discover how awesome the guitar could sound. I was still a year away from being turned on to punk rock and grunge didn’t do it for me. Guns N Roses and Metallica were the bands rocking my speakers the most. I bought my first CD in ’94, Metallica’s Master of Puppets. When I wasn’t listening to that, or my GN’R tapes, I had my radio tuned to KBPI, as I was under the impression they rocked the rockies. I also liked Alice in Chains, but I try not to talk about that.
2009:
I have grown as a music enjoyer. Obviously my first love is punk rock but I try to not limit myself to just that. As far as that Metallica CD, well I no longer have it, but KBPI (still rocking the rockies) plays enough Metallica that even if I only listen to the station for ten minutes a month I’ll hear enough to make up for not having the CD. I still don’t care for grunge except for the occasional Bush song. And I still don’t like to talk about liking Alice in Chains.
Fashion
1994:
This was the year I tried to get fashionable and fit in. I had jeans from the Arizona Jean CO; a No Fear t-shirt, I believe it read, “He who dies with the most toys, still dies.” I was still into toys so I thought this shirt was awesome; I had a pair of Nikes, they were white; I tried to grow my hair long like the metal heads of the bands I loved, but my hair is wavy and that became a tangled mess so I covered it with a Chicago Bulls hat. All of which I bought from the local J.C. Penny, except the hat, I think I got that from the Mile High Flea Market.
2009:
Now I dress business casual at the office. On my time though it’s usually jeans and t-shirt supporting a band, or booze, or a fictional BMX racing team. My shoes are the comfortable, suede Pumas or Vans. My hair is as short as can be without the luxury of being bald, but I still usually cover it with a hat, generally a scally cap, but sometimes a ball cap supporting a band. Most of this ensemble was purchased and the wonderful, wonderful Kohl’s, where I have come to expect great things.
Television
1994:
I was still watching cartoons, a lot. But I had waned off of wrestling, for a short time. SO I filled my evenings with Roseanne, Home Improvement, and Murphy Brown. I didn’t understand a damn thing happening on Murphy Brown but I thought Faith Ford was cute. And of course, the staple of my television life since 1989: The Simpsons. I also watched Married with Children and In Living Color, against my parents’ wishes.
2009:
I still watch cartoons, only not as many or as often. I have waned off wrestling again, except for the occasional classic matches. Wrestling has been somewhat replaced by UFC. The sitcoms I watch consist of The Big Bang Theory, How I Met Your Mother, The Office, and 30 Rock. All of which I understand, except when the big bang nerds talk physics. My parents have no word over what I can and cannot watch, take that 11 year old version of me.
Family
1994:
This was the year my parents got divorced. My dad moved California and my mom, my sister, and I stayed in Colorado. Where I made fun of my sister for liking The New Kids on the Block. Then we probably fought. As far as I can remember we always had cats. So one of those was probably wandering around.
2009:
After a short stint in Cali my dad moved to Washington, then back to Colorado, where he remarried, now he is in Michigan. My mom is still single and still lives in Colorado. I live by myself in Colorado without a cat. Turns out I am allergic. I still make fun of my sister for liking The New Kids on the Block, which is slightly irrelevant and completely untrue. We don’t fight anymore.
Weekdays
1994:
These would start with some cereal and the Dennis the Menace cartoon. Then I would head to the bus stop where we would play football in the street and try not to get caught doing so by the bus driver. She was looking out for our safety or something.
This was the year they stated us on the route of having different teachers throughout the day. Mr. Brody was my homeroom and math teacher. Then it was over to Mr. Hughes for science and finally Mr. Mason for social studies. Then I went home for some cartoons and fairly uneventful evenings.
Except Tuesdays.
On Tuesdays a friend of mine’s parent were part of a bowling league at the bowling alley across the street. Instead of a babysitter they brought my friend along and we goofed around at the bowling where we would buy way too many mint and winter green Life Savers from the vending machine.
2009:
My days start with some light wake up exercises, my medications, a bowl of cereal and Saved by the Bell. Then I head to the bus stop. Nobody will play football in the street with me though, bunch of uptight squares. Then I work for eight hours, come home, do homework or write for an internet comedy site.
The bowling alley I hung out at on Tuesday nights is still around, and now it’s one part bowling alley, one part Chinese restaurant, and all awesome! I haven’t talked to the friend I would spend those Tuesday nights with in ten years. I ran into his sister a year ago and she informed me their dad had passed away. But I’ll always think of him when I’m bowling while I eat Chinese food.
Weekends
1994:
Saturday nights were usually a sleep over with the kid from the bowling alley. We would play with our action figures, trade comic cards, play Nintendo, then watch SNL where we wouldn’t understand half the jokes or references and hope we wouldn’t fall asleep before American Gladiators.
Sundays were usually spent at my uncle’s where I’d consume too much soda, chips and dip, while watching six hours of football before I was taken home to finish any homework and sneak off to watch forbidden shows.
2009:
Saturdays I usually find myself hanging out with a good friend, John Molson, Adolph Coors, or Crown Royal. I meet these friends at various venues to watch sports, socialize, and have an all around good time.
Sundays I usually wake up angry with my friends John, Adolph, and Crown Royal. But through ways talked about on Monday, I make it through and I spend the rest of the day catching up on chores and errands, but those are mainly excuses to not do homework.
Health
1994:
I went under the knife in ’94. I had to have my appendix removed. I went to bed after one of my fun Tuesday nights and my stomach felt full like I had drank too much water. I ignored and fell asleep. I woke up the next day with what was, at the time, the worst stomachache I had ever felt. I went to the hospital and they said my appendix needed to come out right away then they sliced me up. I don’t recall too much else about the whole thing except I was forbidden to run and have fun. And that meant I had to sit out of gym class. I was sent to the library where I read a joke book almost cover to cover and I put my legs to sleep for the first time and didn’t know what was going on so I fell over when I tried to stand. Oh, the things we remember.
2009:
I live everyday, and have for the past two years, with Ulcerative Colitis, when I first acquired this infection was when I had the worst stomachache ever, but more on that in another post. So to control this infection I take four pills every day, more on bad days. At least with this I am allowed to run, though now I don’t really want to.
Birthday
1994:
Most of my childhood birthdays where spent in one of two places, at least all the one’s after I outgrew Chuck E. Cheese’s (or Showbiz, as it was called when I was a wee lad). So while I’m not sure exactly I can guess my 11th birthday was spent at one of these places.
The first was the Colorado legend Casa Bonita. We ate shitty Mexican food and somehow had fun. Look for another later post with more detail on Casa Bonita. The second place was Boardwalk, USA. Boardwalk, USA was the evolution of the arcade. Instead of putting quarter after quarter into a machine you put an amount on a card and swiped the card at the machine. I think they were trying to teach me how to use a credit card. Wall to wall video games, yet I stuck to the same three, rarely adventuring out. Street Fighter 2, The Simpsons, and X-Men. The Simpsons and X-Men games were good when you went with a group because you could co-op the game.
2009:
Well since my birthday is still about a month away I haven’t done anything to celebrate it yet. This essay started out because I was trying to figure out what to do. Check back in February and I should have an answer for you. In the mean time you can send any gifts my way at CJS c/o Lee S. Hart, 1234 Fake St, Suite 1700, Any Town, CO 89993. Thanks.
See ya in 2024…
lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com
14 Jan 2009 Lee S. Hart