Cru Jones Society

Welcome to Monday Confessional where we have the windows down, the system up and we’re screaming out, “We don’t give a Fuck!” We wanted to know what song causes you to turn the dial up to 11 in your car.  Assuming we all still have volume dials in our cars. We got a lot of responses, which proves that everybody does in fact want to be a rock star. So without further ado, let’s check out the drive time playlist.

E Dagger: Without question, the best song to jam out in the car to is “Tall Cans in the Air” by The Transplants. Skinhead Rob aggressively barks out the self-congratulatory rap verses like a coked-up-cracker-ass version of DMX while Travis Barker and Tim Armstrong lay down punk instrumentals that sound like they time traveled straight from a 1979 concert by The Damned. Basically, this song is like a musical representation of what would happen if the 1960s Black Panthers ever met the 1930s Nazi Youth, but if everyone was angrily thrilled by it and wanted to get fucked up instead of fight.

You can’t help but shout out the chorus with Skinhead Rob (Tall cans in the air / Let me see ‘em / Fuck you!). Plus, if your window’s down you scare the God-fearing piss out of the poor woman in the car next to you. To me, this is what a sing-a-long anthem should be: loud, aggressive, self-aggrandizing, incitement to binge drink, vaguely frightening to passersby, and requiring absolutely no vocal talent whatsoever – only the ability and enthusiasm to gruffly holler out the lyrics with the quasi-criminal lead singer. You won’t find a more fun song anywhere, nor will you ever feel a stronger desire to drink out of an oversized beer can. For those two reasons alone, I defy anyone to find a better song to rock out to.

Lee S. Hart: First I want to agree with Dagger, Tall Cans is a most excellent choice. But I don’t ever rock it to just one song. My other top two choices are “This Love” by Pantera. The verse is somewhat mellow, but as soon as that chorus hits I am literally screaming along. I actually hurt my voice singing along to this one day on my way to work. I showed up and people kept asking if I had a cold. Nope, I was listening to Pantera and things got a little real.

My other choice is “I’m Money” by Zebrahead. This song always gets me amped and builds my confidence a little. I also recall a Halloween were Lady E was driving us to a party. We had gotten an early jump on the drinking and this song came on and the entire car explode into a riotous chorus of off key shenanigans.

Every once in awhile I like to hear “Swing Life Away” by Rise Against (that’s their crappy acoustic piece of crap that mainstream ate up like cake at fat camp). I detest this song but I love to scream along, out of tune, and off tempo with it. This always makes me laugh.

Senor Limon: Like many of our readers this week, I have a constantly rotating stable of songs I prefer to blast while on the move, Like Dagger and Hart both, The Transplants and Rise Against are both heavy hitters in the rotation, I also find that The Alkaline trio is always a lock for getting me out of a funk, but when it comes down to the one song above the rest I love to crank up with wonton disregard for my own auditory health the answer is “Supercharger Heaven (Devil Man)” by White Zombie.  This song is 3:37 of nonstop fury guaranteed to rock your socks directly off of your feet, complete with an interlude of creepy Latin chanting, and a chorus that requires no more musical talent than the ability to scream along at the top of your lungs.

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Like you would expect ours are punk rock and metal. But we’re not the only ones taking that route. Some of you guys did too.

Gutter: Although there is a chance that a high percentage of other people might also pick this one, I have to go with it. That would be “Party Hard“, by Andrew W.K. (AKA The W.K.). There are few songs that pack that much energy and fun into three minutes. It is great to see people’s reaction in other cars as you slam an invisible microphone into your head. The song works for all occasions for when you are in the car. Whether it is getting yourself pumped up before a CSU intramural softball game or just trying to lighten up the mood as you go into work for yet another Monday. It also is a great song to play at your wedding and have people spray champagne on your friend’s nice suit (Still feel horrible about that one Dagger).

Twodogszk: I am still listening to the same Tool mix album that has been in my car for over a year now. I listen to it sparingly and I hardly drive that much. I guess, in actuality I am just too lazy to hook up my iPhone or buy new blank CDs for my 5-minute car ride. Pretty pathetic I know, but the album still gets me pumped up.

Deuce: Without a doubt whenever Guns and Roses’ ”Sweet Child Of Mine“ comes on the radio, I have to crank it up and belt out that power ballad like my voice can raise Atlantis.

On another plane of existence, whenever Barry White’s “You’re the First, the Last, My Everything“ comes on, I turn it up and sing along because it reminds me of when Mrs. Deuce and I came into our wedding reception and that was the most fun day of my life.

Keithage: “Macho Nachos” by the Mad Caddies.  This song is expresses the way I feel every time I listen to it.  No matter what it is the perfect tempo, has the correct lyrics and is so well written that it never gets old.

Now if you were asking for embarrassing songs I may or may not have listen to “My Humps” by the Black Eyed Peas at loud volume in my automobile.  That doesn’t mean I’m gay.  Right?

 

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Since Keithage brought up embarrassing songs, some of you chose songs that maybe you are not embarrassed by, but we are embarrassed for you.

Daggersgirl: My song changes about every six months to a year, and I am sad to say that when it does it is typically the hottest pop song out.  Right now it is, “When I Grow Up” By none other than the Pussy Cat Dolls… but is in the middle of changing and it is a tossup between Beyonce’s “Single Girls” and Katie Perry’s “Hot ‘n Cold“… We will see who wins this battle soon! Others have included “SexyBack” by good ol’ JT, “Stronger” by Kanye, “The Way I Are” by Timbaland…

Kat V: I might have the strangest mix of feel-good music out of all of my friends. Songs that cheer me up: “Chop Suey,” “Aerials,” or “BYOB” by System of a Down “Stupify,” “Down With the Sickness,” “Shout 2000,” or “Violence Fetish” by Disturbed You know, sometimes you just need that angry-sounding music. Even if you’re not angry. Angry music makes me feel good sometimes. (On a similar note, Weird Al’s “Angry White Boy Polka” is also good)

On the other side of the spectrum of good music to play in the car: “Womanizer,” “Piece of Me,” “Break the Ice,” and others (the fast, clubby ones) by Britney Spears Multiple songs by Christina Aguilera “SOS,” “Pon de Replay,” or “Disturbia” Rihanna (for other reasons, I enjoy “Umbrella” because of the MADTV “Under Barack Obama” spoof) These are mostly good because that damn girly side of me has to let itself out sometimes. Plus they’re fun to sing to. For some reason people tend to stare if you are singing along to “Bring the violence/it’s significant/to the life/can you feel it/OW OW OW” and you’re a girl. I also carry Weird Al’s “White and Nerdy” close to my heart.

And lastly, by itself, are various show tunes. Partly because they are the best to sing along to, and partly because a part of me yearns to be back on stage. Ah, Nostalgia.

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Others took the opportunity to sell out their brother or casually tell us their wife has bad taste, yet they listen to The Darkness.

Chaddymac: “When Worlds Collide” by Powerman5000.  First off thanks to Senor Limon for introducing me to this song/band before you could hear it on every sports highlight reel (including baseball and bowling).  This song was made to be played at mind melting volumes and with the pounding bass. It’s the closest I get to being one of those annoying people in the car next to you who’s bass rattles your windows.

On the subject of turning up songs in the car.  My brother once picked me up from work and as I got in the car, Gwen Stefani’s “Rich Girl” came on and he not only proceeded to turn it up he turned to me and said, “I love this song.”  Since that day I will never ride in a car with him unless he is in the backseat far away from the radio.

Augie.Maestas: My morning wake up song is… “Everyday we Hustlin’” – why you might ask, because it reminds you that everyday you have to work your arse off if you want to make it to the top. All those dreams you had as a kid and all of the dreams you still have now, if you hustle everyday, you will make it to those dreams. My after work drive home song is… “Should’ve Been a Cowboy” – Mostly because it is a great song to turn up in your car and listen to. But also because after a long day behind a desk or at meetings – you know by looking out the window in lovely Colorado, it would be a lot better to be outside. I should have been a cowboy and living life in the open fields like old Marshall Dillon. Drunk College song – Hit ‘em up by 2Pac – This song will get you pumped anytime you are drunk and with the bass blasting, for some reason it makes the high 10 times better. Just thought I would mention that.

Flickerbock: When I really want to crank up a song in my car, a couple things need to occur. First of all, the wife will most likely not be with me. Her musical tastes really cramp my style. Secondly, I need to be able to drive somewhat quickly. Getting pumped up for bumper-to-bumper traffic does not happen. Usually, when I am going to be in the mood to get fired up with some rocking tunes, I am probably on my way to a softball game (boner), skiing (boner), or Home Depot (bigger boner). When the prior conditions exist, the songs that get rocked are:

“Black Shuck” – The Darkness
“One Way Ticket” – The Darkness
Anything by Flogging Molly

Both “Black Shuck” and “One Way Ticket” are the intro songs to The Darkness’s albums “Permission to Land” and “One Way Ticket to Hell. . .And Back”. Those now-disbanded British glam rockers really know how to get you fired up for the rest of their badass records with the first note. Plus, the beginning of “One Way Ticket” has this weird woodwind/Native American sounding thing that is very puzzling until they crank it up to 11 and kick ass. And I cannot listen to Flogging Molly without tapping my feet, drumming on something, and getting into a freaking awesome mood.

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If you ever find yourself in a musical funk, and not the kind George Clinton is all about, the above list of songs might help. Except The Darkness, that helps nobody. We stated last week it’s not our goal to single anyone out, but come on Flickerbock, The Darkness are truly awful and we’re happy to hear they disbanded (Senor Limon excluded, of course).

If your confession hasn’t scared off your better half then you’re forced to celebrate that menace Valentine’s Day this weekend. With love in the air, the Cru Jones Society wants the confessions of your worst date experiences. Were you a clumsy shlemiel? Did you drag your date to either some weepy arthouse borefest or to some atrocious Jean Claude Van Damme movie? Did you try the popcorn trick and fail (or possibly succeed – that might actually be worse)? Let’s hear it. Send your responses in a relatively short, well-written paragraph to staff@crujonessociety.com and we’ll put ‘em right here next week. And when your Valentine’s date ends up horribly unpleasant, you can check out others’ dire dates and not feel so bad.

Dagger, Hart, and Limon