Cru Jones Society

In these tough economic times I have found myself with more slow days at work. That happened again this past week and I found myself in a co-worker’s office thumbing through an Oriental Trading catalog. Oriental Trading is a company that supplies people with a bunch of useless crap whose sole purpose is to give the impression that the lame party you’re at is fun.

So since we are entering the summer party season, I thought I would discuss a few products found in the catalog that would be perfect for these summer time events. Continue Reading »

It’s April, damn near May, which means the Stanley Cup playoffs are in full swing. Even though my beloved Avalanche spent the latter part of the season looking like retards trying to fuck a doorknob and thus aren’t in the hunt for the cup, there’s still hockey so I’m watching. Watching these hockey matches means having to put up with the air wave atrocity known as Versus. Continue Reading »

As April turns to May, young men’s thoughts turn to fancy.

I’ve never cared for this expression in any iteration, so let’s change it up a bit. As the weather gets warmer, women lose their cumbersome layers, you don’t get an icy pair of feet tucked under your ass on the couch anymore, and it’s time to get laid! If you’re a young man and still in high school or college, then god bless this time of year. Savor this time lads, because never again in your life will you be surrounded by so many good looking women wearing so little clothing in your entire life.

And if you do happen to be in high school, this time of year means one other thing: Prom! Continue Reading »

It’s tempting to say this week’s Confessional topic bombed spectacularly (we got one response, from Gutter), but we think it’s a bit more complicated than that. The simple question of whether or not you’d forsake life on earth for eternal life and health on a space ship is a relatively unassuming question requiring a simple yes or no answer and an explanation, but as you begin to ponder the implications of either answer, you have to mine your innermost thoughts, feelings, and deeply held spiritual beliefs to fully accept whatever answer you’ve given. Based on all the above we were forced to make this Monday Confessional a little different. We will hopefully be back to the classic format next week. Until then we offer our insights into the movie Cocoon. Continue Reading »

I don’t care if Monday’s blue. Tuesday’s grey and Wednesday too. Thursday I don’t care about you. It’s Friday, I’m in love. Another week done, another Friday upon us. And what’s not to love? Here comes the weekend, and we’ve got a collection of goodness to bid your work week adieu in proper fashion. So come on in, and wash away the pre-Friday blues with our fine-cured Internet refreshment. Continue Reading »

Getting angry is something we all do. Generally it is justified, like catching your best gal (or guy) in bed with another guy, walking out to the car only to find some dickless piece of shit keyed it, or being an overrated goalie and letting a game winning puck get by you with 0.2 second left in the game. This list is not about those things. No, this list is about the little things that cause no serious repercussions or affect your life for more then a few brief minutes but these things still get the blood boiling for those few brief moments. Continue Reading »

Consider this neither a concession speech nor an admission of being wrong in the seemingly endless Beirut/Beer Pong debate. I’m not wrong. The game involving 10 cups on either end of a table where teams of two alternate shots attempting to eliminate their opponents’ cups is Beirut. Beer Pong is a different game entirely and owes its getting two games under its name to a varied buffet of factors. And while it pains me to no end to assert this, I get why Beer Pong is the dominant name. I’ll explain. Continue Reading »

We’ve heard from Limon, and we’ve heard from Hart, so I figured I might as well chime in with four commercials that insult my intelligence as well. I’ve listed the four below along with an honorable mention so hated among the masses (even my dear sweet mother), that I thought it unfair to include in such an illustrious list. So let’s get to it. Here are four (five) commercials that call my acumen’s mother a whore. Continue Reading »

Welcome to another Monday Confessional. Most of you are probably reading this from work. And based on this week’s question, “What did you want to be when you grow up?” you’re probably not at the job the younger you would have wanted you to be at. But as you will see, hopes and dreams change, some times a lot. Continue Reading »

When we started the Cru Jones Society, Hart, Limon, and I primarily sought to make you laugh and give you a way to waste time at work. That’s still our aim. But we never want to stoop to the level of pandering for a cheap laugh, farting out a simple trite list without context, or only aiming as high as the lowest common denominator. If we don’t make you laugh, at the very least, we want you to feel something after reading one of our articles. And as the last couple of weeks have demonstrated, it’s not always laughs around CJS Headquarters. We take a lot of time, effort, and care in crafting what you read here on CJS and we always try to write something that we’ll be proud of later. With that in mind, I was honored to attend the Damon Runyon Award Dinner hosted by the Denver Press Club Friday night with Lady E. Continue Reading »

That picture is not photo-shopped. It’s actually a giant space hand. Reaching across galaxies to find the latest batch of links we affectionately call Happy Friday. We hope you didn’t have to reach that far for the link fest of goodness we have for you. Either way, we hope you enjoy. Continue Reading »

When I talk to my guy friends, more than we discuss any other topic – sports, beer, video games, lying about sexual experiences – we discuss movies. Entire discussions happen in a circuitous, seemingly disjointed, endless series of quotes and references from films we all know leading into whatever point it was you were trying to make in the first place. If you’re not up on your references, this is like jumping into the middle of a fucking Henry James novel and trying to figure out what the hell is going on (which is why I think Lady E mentally checked out during more conversations in Tucson than President Obama likely did while getting advice from Bush as he left the White House). To most women, speaking this language is like trying to learn Esperanto – extremely difficult and at least equally as pointless. Continue Reading »

I was a little bitter and angry yesterday, so I’ve decided to go in a different direction today. Some may call that bi-polar. I call it the ability to experience different feelings. I’ve been a real punk rock mood lately, could be due to the impending Pennywise show, or it could be due to the fact that punk rock is fantastic and makes me happy. Either way works for me. So in light of this punk feeling I wanted to dedicate a post to the punk rocker that keeps punk rock the one love I know won’t break my heart: Tim “Lint” Armstrong. Continue Reading »

A few weeks ago Limon mentioned a few television commercials that annoyed the shit out of him. While he did list some awful ones that bother me, he didn’t touch on the few that make me almost not want to view television at all, unless it’s at a later date at Tivo is involved. So what follows here are the four advertisements that I hate above all other obnoxious shit on TV, that includes Dr. Phil. Continue Reading »

Seeing as Hart set this question up beautifully by letting us all know 5 Things He Didn’t Appreciate in His Youth, this week’s Confessional topic fit right in with our site’s theme. We asked you: What do you miss most from childhood? You’ll see a lot of similarities in the responses, but you won’t see them until you click that little “Read more” button, now will you? So click it, and let’s see what everyone said. Continue Reading »

Last week gave you a condensed Happy Friday. We more than make up for it this week. We have links galore, important news, and a new exciting venture for CJS. So let’s make like Ben Folds and rock this bitch! Continue Reading »

Man-date. Man-bag. Man-cation. Man-crush. Bromance. Etc, etc, etc.

What the fuck has happened to men in our society where we have to bluntly classify everything we do, everything we own, and every relationship we have with a masculine prefix? My brain reached critical mass of aggravation with this recent trend while watching I Love You, Man, the funny, if oddly paced and a touch predictable, recent movie where Paul Rudd is a pussy-whipped goober who needs to find a best man before his wedding and happens upon Jason Segel, an impetuous, free-wheeling man-child who serves as the counterpoint to Rudd’s boring, beholden-to-women doofus. This movie is the logical endpoint for the use of the of “Man-” as a prefix in describing all male-only activities because, really, there’s nowhere else to go from here. Continue Reading »

(Note from E Dagger: 99% of the time our goal is to make you laugh, but sometimes life is overwhelming and we have things we can’t escape and have to get off our minds. Today is one of those days, so this post is semi-serious. We think you’ll like it anyway, and hope you’ll gain something from it. We’ll be back with the funny tomorrow. For now, here’s this.)

Life is full of paradoxes. It is at once beautiful and miserable. You’re simultaneously dwelling in prosperity while eternally wishing for something different. You don’t even know what that is, but given the expanse of the universe, you know it’s out there somewhere. You’re an optimist by nature, but can’t help but feel trapped inside your own created reality and get plagued by the fleeting desire to blow it all up. Sometimes the only thing to do is to turn on some jams, crank that fucker up as loud as it’ll go, and cathartically punch through the brick walls to push on. This is why I love the music of Rise Against. Continue Reading »

Some times you don’t appreciate things until after you suffer through Ulcerative Colitis. Some times you don’t appreciate things until they leave you for the douche bag in their biology class. But some times you don’t appreciate things because you’re young and ignorant or naïve.

I have compiled five things that used to annoy me and that I despised when I was younger.  But now that I am a little bit older, and a little (very little) bit wiser, I have come to the awareness that these things are great and that they enhanced whatever it is they are a part of.  So now, in no particular order, I give you 5 under appreciated things from my youth. Continue Reading »