I want to be a brooker!

Welcome to another Monday Confessional. Most of you are probably reading this from work. And based on this week’s question, “What did you want to be when you grow up?” you’re probably not at the job the younger you would have wanted you to be at. But as you will see, hopes and dreams change, some times a lot.

Lee S. Hart: I found this question rather difficult. I am not sure if the years of heavy drinking have wiped my mind clean, but I cannot remember what I wanted to be when I was a kid. Looking back my best guess would be a Ghostbuster, specifically Egon, but that could have just been a phase. Maybe I wanted to be a scientist. Those guys were generally my favorite. Egon, Donatello, OK I only have tow examples, but whatever. Obviously I had no desire to be a musician since I hated that damned piano.

There is a very real possibility that I didn’t have any ambition for a career choice when I was little. I may have felt that I never wanted to grow. Some kind of Peter Pan complex. Which may explain why my apartment is still decorated with toys, and posters of cartoon characters, and why my Muppet DVDs are in heavy rotation.

E Dagger: When I was a kid, my career path was simple. Since the world exists to you in an extremely microcosmic way – there’s your parents, your parents’ friends, your friends, and the people you see on TV – it seems like you can do anything. With that small of a sample size, any career is reasonably feasible because really, there are so few people you know, and a wealth of opportunity in the world. Who’s going to do all those jobs? You are! And you can have any one you want!

So when I was a kid, here were the three jobs I felt best-suited for: 1) Professional baseball player; 2) Point guard in the NBA; and 3) Failing to achieve either of  those two professions, I’d just do whatever the hell my Dad did for a living. I was never really sure what it was my Dad did all day; he had one of those nebulous liberal arts degrees that allows you to do anything and nothing all at once. All I knew was that he wore a suit everyday, went on business trips, and talked to reporters regularly. It seemed like a decent enough jobs, so I just went ahead and put that 3rd. Sure, he hated his boss, but I’d already watched enough television by that point to where I figured everyone complained about their boss and that was just part of being a grownup.  

What sucks about growing up is that as your world expands, you realize that while you’re a decent ballplayer, you’ve not been blessed with enough God-given talent or physical attributes to be the clutch hitting, RBI-machine 3rd baseman for the Cubs you envisioned when you were 9. Nor are you going to be that star point guard whose defense and passing skills regularly draw comparisons to Gary Payton. And I think this is one of the main reasons puberty sucks so bad. Not only is your body chemistry freaking out and going apeshit like all the gangs in New York after Cyrus gets shot, it’s your first taste of the bitter realization that you’ll never achieve most of your big dreams.

So here I find myself more or less doing whatever the hell my Dad did for a living. I have my nebulous liberal arts degree (two of ‘em, actually!). I wear a suit (almost) everyday, go on a business trip every so often, and talk to reporters regularly. The only difference is that I don’t hate my boss. So I count this Confessional as a win for the Dagger.

NBA point gaurd

CassieB gave us this question with a little story about her sister, Lady E. It turns out Lady E wanted to be a fire truck when she was a kid. We get that. Fire trucks are powerful, colorful, and demand attention and respect. It’s a good choice, but Lady E gave us some more insight into.

Lady E: Yes, it is true, that when first presented with the question “what do I want to be when I grow up” I wanted to be a fire truck. I have No idea why, maybe I meant to say fireman but at the age of 3 either would have been cool. Once I realized I couldn’t turn into a truck I had no idea what I wanted to be, and oddly enough, I still have no idea!

Ever hopeful to mimic our heroes, many of us looked to television and movies to lead us in a career choice. Luckily reality television wasn’t a round to screw us up.

Deuce: Start your jokes now, but when I was a little kid, I saw a show (probably Jack Hannah) on TV about those two baby polar bears. Klondike and Snow I think were their names and I wanted to be a Veterinarian. I never had the lame trapper keeper folders with tigers or horses and I really wasn’t into pets, but deep down I wanted to be a vet. That subsided later in life (probably around junior high, the time when most of your life’s ambitions die) Oddly enough, I ended up going to a college that has a pretty renowned Vet school… and majored in Finance.

Augie.maestas: Well, like most of the kids I hung out with, our dreams were to be professional athletes. All we would do everyday would go out and play sport – baseball or basketball. In middle school I thought I had a pretty good chance because I was growing so fast, I was 5′ 9″ going into high school. I am now 5′ 10″ and 9 years removed from high school. It was a good dream, but once I stopped growing I knew my chances were less and less every year. I stared thinking about other things I would like to do. Here are two that I came up with and now don’t do either one. First, I wanted to be a Middle School math teacher. It would be a pretty sweet gig, minus the pay. Middle school kids have so much attitude, but my personality and actions relate very closely with them. I know this because I act the same way as my 13 year old nephew. The other option was to own a restaurant. This option is still available to me and I have actually been thinking about it more and more now that I have gone back to school. Maybe one of my dreams will come true, but until then, I will sit in my cubicle reading CJS!!

Keithage: Long before realultimatepower.net I have always wanted to be a ninja.  Growing up I watched a lot of Chuck Norris Movies, the American Ninja series, Bloodsport, The 3 ninja series, TMNT, Karate kid series, and pretty much any other movie that’s basic premise was to beat people up with your bare hands.  All of this made me want to be a Ninja.  How can you go wrong with a profession like that?  Little did I realize that the people in these movies never made money they always had some sort of just cause.  Real ninjas are just hired assassins.  That is not a long lived profession.  To bad I could have been big pimpin with the biggest blackest boner ever.

What is with kids and fire trucks?

Shifting gears entirely from the last three questions, this one comes courtesy of a long, heartfelt conversation had by Lee S. Hart and E Dagger while they watched cinematic classic Cocoon together. Would you leave life on earth entirely behind for eternal life on a spaceship? You’d likely never return home, all earthly delights would be forsaken, your loved ones long gone – but you’d live forever, never get sick, and explore the untold wonders of the universe. Who’s getting on the spaceship and why?

Dagger, Limon, and Hart