Cru Jones Society

That’s right, kiddies, it’s Friday, and it’s Jager-thirty. After a short work week, we are ready to for more drinking. Dagger’s off to a wedding in the garden state, leaving Hart here to fill your work day with time wasting links. So toss back a shot, send a long distance high five, and let’s rock this bitch! Continue Reading »

In a recent Monday Confessional, we asked you to tell us what you wanted to be when you grew up. We all had dreams of fame, glory, or wealth, and I suspect very few of us are currently doing what we aspired to do when we were young.

On the flip side of that, even fewer of us are still doing what we actually did when we were younger. And I think I speak for most of us when I say, thank God! We’ve all had some wacky jobs, but I’d wager the many professions of E Dagger register impressive readings on the Weird Shit-O-Meter. And that’s why we’re here today. Continue Reading »

I‘m not an athlete. I fancied myself an athlete as a kid and throughout high school, and while I patrol centerfield in kickball, sweat it out on elliptical machines, and ride my bike to work occasionally, that doesn’t make me an athlete. Yet I still love Gatorade. So fruity and delicious, Gatorade is the nectar of the gods. Restoring hydration after a night of cigarettes, Jager shots, and beers, Gatorade sets my course on the road to recovery like the Florence Nightingale of drinking. Shit, I drink it just for fun on the way to work a couple times a week at least. It’s nutritious, it tastes good, and I can’t get enough of it.

I wrote the above paragraph last Friday night after Lady E and I returned from the Park Tavern. I was fairly drunk, desperately wanted to go to bed, and had to get up early the next day, but the Gatorade tasted so good, and my feelings so strong about its simple brilliance, I had to write at least part of my love letter to it right then and there. And if you thought was all I had to say, well, you’ve obviously never been here before. Welcome! Continue Reading »

With 110 different places brewing beer in Colorado, it is a great state to taste many different beers. For this reason alone, CJS reader Keithage and I have taken up a mission to visit every one of those 110 breweries and brew pubs. This past Saturday this mission took us to Boulder for a day of beer and tomfoolery. Continue Reading »

Happy Memorial Day, CJS faithful. Although we expect most of you are actually reading this on Tuesday, we thought it apropos to discuss these flicks anyway. Memorial Day traditionally signals the start of the summer movie season, but just like the Christmas Industrial Complex, studios continue to take more and more of the calendar for themselves for summer movie season. We’ve never been slaves to the calendar ourselves, so what the fuck do we care? Let’s take a look at the answers to this question: What summer movie are you most excited for and which one looks most likely to suck balls? Hart and Dagger answer first, then our readers take their turn. Continue Reading »

Good Morning! Why are we so happy today? Because it’s Friday and tomorrow starts a three day weekend. We have plans of debauchery to fill all three days. That’s only half true. But before we get to the shenanigans we have plenty of links to help you ease into the weekend. So let’s get to it so we can start the weekend already. Continue Reading »

Senor Limon and I were at a bar during karaoke night a couple years ago where some drunken idiot took the stage and belted out a surprisingly energetic rendition of “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John. It was so much fun, the entire bar joined in on the falsetto “laaaaaa-la-la-la-la-laaa” parts and stood up and applauded when it was over. And why shouldn’t they? “Crocodile Rock” is an upbeat party tune about the early days of rock ‘n roll. It bursts with good times, a silly chorus of non-words, and rock and roll piano playing. It’s perfect for a good night out at the bar and gleefully singing along with strangers.

But not all songs are “Crocodile Rock.” Sometimes beneath that effervescent veneer lurks a sad song wearing a happy disguise. I alluded to this type of song in the Monday Confessional and cited it as one of the reasons I love “Under the Bridge” so much, so I thought it appropriate to expand on this more fully. Here are six of my favorite happy sad songs as well as a brief explanation of why I find this micro genre so interesting. Continue Reading »

 Last night I participated in what has become somewhat of a monthly tradition. I went to trivia night at a not so local bar, way to far from my home. It was a good night as my team came in second, but more on that later. Playing trivia games has become one of my favorite pastimes, and luckily there are many ways to partake in trivia. Continue Reading »

With the upcoming Land of the Lost movie, and maybe because I watched the recent Get Smart remake this weekend, I started thinking about other film adaptations of classic television shows. While a lot of them miss the mark there are a few that I have enjoyed multiple viewings of. I have picked my three favorites as well as three I wouldn’t watch if I was trapped in my home and they were the only form of entertainment. I would literally rather stare at a blank wall than watch these movies again. So grab a glass of Bosco and a Lucky Strike cigarette and let’s get to it. Continue Reading »

It’s Monday which means we pay another visit to the Confessional. This week CJS Staff and readers tackle the question: What is your one favorite song of all-time? No hedging allowed here – you’re allowed to pick one song, and one song only, a task that sounds easy enough, but considering how much music tastes change depending on mood, situation, and a raft of other factors, this question forced our readers to distill their choices into their most base elements and really get at the root of their feelings. Just like a good Confessional should. We’ve got seven responses this week, and as always, Dagger & Hart answer first followed by our readers. New question’s at the bottom. Continue Reading »

Whether you’re hanging’ out, drinking in the back of the El Camino, or at work, it’s time to enjoy another cavalcade of comedic and captivating computer enjoyment. We have plenty more alteration with this week’s batch of links. So, without further delay, storm through the party like your name is El Nino. Continue Reading »

In my last post about the show “Lie To Me” I compared Dr. Cal Lightman, the main character played by Tim Roth, to House, the title character of a similar Fox show. On the surface, both of these characters are similar – both are basically entertaining jerks, both have a staff of people who seek to impress them, both use a methodology of detection that no one else can seem to figure out, and both speak with a British accent.

And while I’ve never seen a full episode of “House, M.D.,” I’ve read enough about both the character and the show to feel to have an adequate grasp of them both. As I watched the season finale of “Lie To Me” I was struck by how the similarities are not only skin deep, they run much deeper. The stories of each character are really nothing more than updated superhero allegories. Continue Reading »

Look at that shiny, pretty thing up there. It’s a fine automobile. In fact, according to Carfax, it’s consistently one of the cars that best holds its value each year. It’s a fun plaything. I worked at a vehicle accessory store, and the Jeep Wrangler is just about the only vehicle with fun after-market products built specifically for it. It’s pretty. The Jeep Wrangler’s stocky, army tough physique belies a sporty little ride that is cute enough for the vain Cher Horowitz to slip around town in throughout the movie Clueless.

It’s possible to own a Jeep Wrangler without being a complete and udder bag of douche. And if I think about it hard enough, I’ll bet I can even come up with someone I know who isn’t one. But we don’t have that kind of time. (If I’ve missed someone obvious in my circle of friends, I apologize)

So, if you somehow own a Jeep Wrangler and haven’t annoyed everyone you know yet, congratulations. This article is not directed at you. For the remaining 99% of you… we hate you. Continue Reading »

Normally Fridays are reserved for the news stories we come across the on the interweb. But this past weekend a few stories came across my desk and I haven’t been able to stop thinking about them. They’re just so ridiculous, but I can’t help getting all fired up about them. Well, I wanted to share these stories, as well as my anger towards them, with all of you. Since they make me angry, I didn’t think Happy Friday was the right outlet for them. Continue Reading »

Welcome sinners and saints to another edition of the Monday Confessional. This week we tackled the question: What restaurant do you refuse to eat in and why? The world is full of choices, but invariably, you’ll end up out with friends and despite a bevy of opportunity to get your grub on at any of several delightful establishments serving a wonderful selection of delicious food, your idiot friends somehow always suggest a place you hate. Here’s a small snapshot of the places CJS staff and readers don’t like to go. Continue Reading »

Baby, it’s Friday, so let’s get the fuck outta Dodge. The links in here are like a little just like this little bunny, that are just kinda cowering in the corner. Shivering. And you… you got these claws and you’re staring at these claws and your thinking to yourself, ”How am I supposed to click these links, how am I supposed to click these links?” And you’re poking at it, you’re poking at it…

Yeah, you’re not hurting it. You’re just kinda gently batting the links around, you know what I mean? And the links are scared, the links are scared of you, shivering. And you got these fucking claws and these fangs… And you’re looking at your claws and you’re looking at your fangs. And you’re thinking to yourself, you don’t know what to do, man. “I don’t know how to click these links.” With *this* you don’t know how to click these links, do you know what I mean? You’re like a big bear, man.

Let’s get to clicking. You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man. You’re a bad man. Continue Reading »

Many times on television the characters spend a lot of time at some kind of restaurant/bar/coffee shop. This is their usual hang out. I’ve never had a usual hang out. There have been many bars I prefer, but no single usual place I, or any of my friends, go almost exclusively. I thought I would take a look at a few of the usual hang outs of a few popular TV shows and weigh in on what would be awesome and not awesome about each place. I was looking for places that were not the main setting. This is why Cheers is not mentioned. Thought I would clear that before I got a lot of letters. Continue Reading »

Every so often a holiday comes along that embraces a heritage I have absolutely no connection with. Such a thing happened yesterday with Cinco de Mayo. While I don’t want to take anything away from any culture, I want to have some fun too. And since I don’t find the time honored custom of cruising up and down Federal to be the barrel of monkeys it’s made out to be, I have gone out to find other fun. I recruited a few friends in joining me to celebrate Cinco De Mustache: a celebration of upper lip hair. Continue Reading »

A day late, a dollar short, but we’re still packing the punch (pun fully intended) with The Monday Confessional (on Tuesday). This week we wanted to know: What famous person would you punch in the face? This was a more popular topic than our last few Confessionals and we got a variety of responses. Thus guaranteeing none of us will be working for People or TMZ any time soon. Oh well. Now let’s ring the bell and come out swinging. Continue Reading »

Welcome to the 2^nd Annual CJS Kentucky Derby Awards. The 135^th running was this past Saturday, and with drink in hand, no money riding we sat back, and a high definition TV we were ready for the fastest two minutes in sports. But we had to sit through the longest pre-game show in sports first. We took that opportunity to Tweet and prepare for this year’s awards. So grab a Kentucky Hot Brown, a Gin Rickey, explain to your boss why you have a Gin Rickey at work and at such an early hour, then read on. Continue Reading »