“Today is the day we attack!” said one question mark to the other question mark

 Last night I participated in what has become somewhat of a monthly tradition. I went to trivia night at a not so local bar, way to far from my home. It was a good night as my team came in second, but more on that later. Playing trivia games has become one of my favorite pastimes, and luckily there are many ways to partake in trivia.

I’m not sure how long I have enjoyed trivia, but a fond memory of mine from the college years would be the weekday evenings spent at a local bar playing Buzz Time Trivia. The evening always started out civil but as the beer kept flowing and the scores got closer the competitiveness in all of us would come out. But by the end of the night we were all friends again. Except for the one guy who got overly razzed for not knowing who has the first and middle names of Horatio Magellan. 

The desire to not be the ass clown in last place each week drove us all to learn more. Cue South Park/Team America/Rocky montage showing everyone paying more attention to television, music, even books trying to take in as much of the information as we could. The main source was Jeopardy.

To this day I still watch at least 2 and a half hours of Jeopardy per week. I live alone and thusly usually watch Jeopardy alone, but that doesn’t stop me from shouting out the answers. My favorite is getting Final Jeopardy correct when none of the contestants do. That just makes me feel fucking brilliant! I make it a point to watch Jeopardy every day because I am a trivia junkie. That’s the part of the show I love, which may be why I get so angry and frustrated with the interview segment. Or I get angry with that part because Jeopardy contestants are socially awkward and have retarded stories. May also be the reason to why I stopped liking Who Wants To Be A Millionaire? So much chit chat and bull shitting occurred on that show. Just shut up and ask the questions.

A recent trivia show I have begun to watch is Cash Cab on the Discovery Channel. I like this show because it gives me hope that the useless information I acquire from trivia may actually help me. For those unfamiliar with the show, passengers in a cab are asked general knowledge questions on the way to their destination. They accumulate money for correct answers, but three wrong answers and they lose everything, including the cab ride. They have to get out of the cab wherever they missed their third question. Proving useless knowledge becomes useful as it can win you money or at least a free cab ride and get you on television.

You’ll have to find the answers on your own

The TV trivia shows are good for those times when nobody wants to hang out because you didn’t invite them, or they have lives to lead, but when people get together for trivia, like the bar trips of my college youth the fun increases exponentially. There are three great ways to do this. The Buzz Time I mentioned before which is usually you and your friends, a screen with the questions, and Leap Frog Learning looking answering device. This is the 21st Century; can’t we get better answering devices? Shitty equipment aside, you get hang out with friends, drink beer, and have fun. Sounds like a fan-fucking-tastic evening to me.

Sometimes though, you don’t want to go out. That’s when you gather with your friends and someone’s house, with plenty of beer, and you whip out Trivial Pursuit. I don’t usually play board games, but when I do, I play Trivial Pursuit. This isn’t much different than the Buzz Time trivia; friends, trivia, and beer. This is just a little more cost efficient and more intimate. This scenario gives you a better opportunity to call your friend a dildo sucking bastard without the judging staring eyes of the sensitive dildo sucking bastards at the bars.

The third option is what I partook in last night. The Geeks Who Drink Pub Quiz. The joys of this one are you get to team with your friends to take on strangers. It is an added bonus if you can find a fun quizmaster. I recommend Quizmaster Student Doctor Awesome at the Celtic Tavern at Riverside Downs. Or possibly a longer combination of words. Quizmaster Student Doctor Awesome is not only fun, he has punk rock playing between questions, and he is the brother of a friend so fucking with him ain’t no thang!

As G.I. Joe always taught me, knowing is half the battle. So I will continue my pursuit of knowledge, both scholarly and useless. I will then use this knowledge to battle my friends and strangers for bragging rights or bar gift certificates. Or just for the satisfaction of being the only person at the table to know which Batman villain was portrayed by Frank Gorshin. I’m not good at sports, so I gotta be good at something.

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See ya at the Celtic Tavern…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com

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