Cru Jones Society

 

Senor Limon and I were at a bar during karaoke night a couple years ago where some drunken idiot took the stage and belted out a surprisingly energetic rendition of “Crocodile Rock” by Elton John. It was so much fun, the entire bar joined in on the falsetto “laaaaaa-la-la-la-la-laaa” parts and stood up and applauded when it was over. And why shouldn’t they? “Crocodile Rock” is an upbeat party tune about the early days of rock ‘n roll. It bursts with good times, a silly chorus of non-words, and rock and roll piano playing. It’s perfect for a good night out at the bar and gleefully singing along with strangers.

But not all songs are “Crocodile Rock.” Sometimes beneath that effervescent veneer lurks a sad song wearing a happy disguise. I alluded to this type of song in the Monday Confessional and cited it as one of the reasons I love “Under the Bridge” so much, so I thought it appropriate to expand on this more fully. Here are six of my favorite happy sad songs as well as a brief explanation of why I find this micro genre so interesting.

I was never the class clown growing up. In fact, I always hated the class clown. Mike Birbiglia describes the class clown as the guy who always busts into a room and is like, “You’re fat! You’re gay! I’m outta here!”  That’s not funny, that guy’s just an asshole. And it’s guys like him that always give comedy a bad name. I’ve never found Don Rickles funny mostly because I perceive him to be a miserable, old, self-loathing prick who can dish it out but can’t take it.

But real comedy – good comedy, the comedy I love – always has greater purpose. In an interview with Judd Apatow (a terribly fascinating read, by the way), Stephen Marche cites the work of Freud in discussing comedy theory.  He says, paraphrasing Freud, “that comedy is a way of releasing pleasure that social inhibitions deny us without violating the inhibition. That double requirement – to violate without violating – means that the joke, and the joke teller, are always at least in part hiding their intentions. Strictly speaking, we do not know what we’re laughing at.”

What the hell does this have to do with this article, you’re likely asking yourself? Because like good comedy, the artists of these songs are at least in part hiding their intentions, which gives each song a layer of nuance on repeated listenings it wouldn’t otherwise have. It’s the same reason Jon Stewart of all people is our most valuable political commentator. When you watch Sean Hannity, you understand his agenda upfront, and his tone supports this agenda unequivocally. Same as when you watch Rachel Maddow. But with Stewart, it takes more intellectual legwork to decode his intentions because he’s put a shiny, satirical sheen over the front of it.

The songs below, while not satirical, in one way or another mask their intentions with music. The general feel of the songs are incongruous with their meanings. So let’s take a look at six of my personal favorites.

“Chasing the Sun Away” by The Mighty Mighty Bosstones

 

What it sounds like: A delightful sun-soaked melody about a day spent sipping fruity cocktails on some Caribbean beach somewhere that’s momentarily interrupted by rain. Senor Limon and I used to listen to this song on the porch together all the time and talk about how we needed to buy little umbrellas to put in our drinks just for when we listened to this song.

What it’s actually about: A guy who can’t cry after a breakup and needs catharsis that will never come.

Saddest lyrics: How could the sun come out after the night / She walked away from what you thought / Was true love and how come / There isn’t barrels of rain on the day after / The night she said “there’s someone else” / How come, could someone explain / Where is the rain?

Why it matters: Like the rest of the songs on this list, you likely don’t notice the sadness of the lyrics because the music is just so damned fun. Between the playful guitar, the bouncy horns, and the laid back reggae beat, you’re about as likely to notice the melancholy wrapped in the lines above as you are to read an FBI warning before watching Fight Club for the 100^th time.

Ultimately, this song is a sad tale of the world moving on with or without you even though you’re more depressed than you ever have been. The sun will continue to rise even though you’re so shell-shocked by that evil bitch falling in love with someone else, you haven’t shaved in four days, smell like a foot, and have eaten nothing but Double Stuff Oreos. And worst of all, you still can’t cry and get it all out of your system at once, so instead of filling “barrels of rain,” you just continue to chase the sun away trapped in perpetual limbo between the frustrated sadness that won’t leave, and the rest of the world that seems to be fan-bloody-tastic without you.

We’ve all been in this situation at least once, and we all remember how shitty it feels. The lyrics of this song capture it beautifully with metaphor, but the music is there to remind us that it’s only temporary. Yeah, you may feel like shit now, but the sooner it rains, the sooner you’re ready to be back in the sun, and the sooner we can go out and buy those little umbrellas for our drinks. So what are you waiting for?

Just for comparison: Check out Sinead O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U” for a sad ass break up song that sounds like a sad ass break up song. Geez…

“Hey Ya” by Outkast

 

What it sounds like: Only one of the five most popular rap songs of the last decade, a triple-platinum juggernaut that launched Outkast into superstardom, one of the most inventive songs of the last 25 years using sounds inspired by The Buzzcocks, The Ramones, and The Smiths, a source of revitalization for the failing Polaroid company… do you really need me to explain this song to you? I mean, it’s fucking “Hey Ya!” You couldn’t go anywhere without hearing this at least four times a day between 2003 and 2006.

What it’s actually about: In the words of Andre 3000 himself, “‘Hey Ya!’ is an upbeat, breakneck jam about the state of relationships today. A lot of people stay together for tradition. All I’m saying is I think it’s more important to be happy than to meet up to somebody else’s expectations or the world’s expectations of what a relationship should be…”

Saddest lyrics: If what they say is “Nothing is forever” / Then what makes, Then what makes, / Then what makes / Then what makes, Then what makes love the exception? / So why you, why we so in denial / When we know we’re not happy heeeerrreeee… / Y’all don’t want me here you just wanna dance

Why it matters: Because of how Andre finishes the quote above. He says, “So this is a celebration of how men and women relate to each other in the 2000s. But you wouldn’t know that if you just dancing all night. You really have to sit down and listen to it.” It’s a call to action for unhappy couples everywhere that even though tradition may indicate that you need to stay together, it’s way more important to be happy. And that aesthetic runs through all of Andre’s record.

Stephen Erlewine says Andre made the great lost Prince album and claims the difference is, “Prince was tortured, Andre is trying to get laid.” And he’s right. In “Hey Ya” he alludes to the dilemma faced by his girl of not wanting to watch him walk out the door, or dealing with unfaithfulness. I believe the message here is that unfaithfulness is a result of unhappiness, so why are we kidding ourselves? Breaking up is tough, but there’s a whole dancefloor out there waiting for you to put your shoes on it. So make like a modern woman, get out the door, and find someone new. The world waits for no one.

Oh, and while you’re looking – because I’m Andre 3000 and I’m hittin’ the nappy dugout tonight – here’s some music for your quest. Sorry it didn’t work out between us, I sincerely am, but, uh, just shake it like a Polaroid picture!

Just for comparison: Check out “If I Were a Boy” by Beyonce for another, much more upsetting, snapshot of the current state of relationships and gender relations as a whole.

“Last Show” by Reel Big Fish

What it sounds like: Any of 100 peppy ska jams that were ever so popular 10 years ago with its nifty horns, smiley guitar riffs, and head-nodding chorus. Toss in a little disco-style guitar during each run-up to the chorus, and you got yourself a swell little ditty!

What it’s actually about: Honestly, it sounds like the string quartet on the Titanic playing the soundtrack to their own demise. The first few times you listen to this song, you assume, since it’s weird-ass Reel Big Fish, they’re breaking up as a band and this is the toothy-grinned, batshit insane way they’re doing it. After realizing this was the last record they were forced to put out by their old corporate label, it’s merely a big ol’ middle finger pointed directly at The Man.

Saddest lyrics: I never thought I would hate music / I never thought I would hate you / but every day this feels more like a job I don’t even want to do / I think I’ve learned my lesson / I’ll never follow my dreams again / I wont waste any more of your time

Why it matters: Read the lyrics again and tell me that isn’t one of the most soul crushing things you’ve ever read. I realize now that the words are really nothing more than a delightfully hateful fuck you to their label, but whenever someone proclaims that they’ll “never follow their dreams again,” you tend to take notice.

Self-loathing is Reel Big Fish’s stock in trade, and their entire “We’re Not Happy Til Your Not Happy” album festers with it. They seem to embrace their one hit wonder status, yet renounce it and piss all over it all the same. They’re keenly self-aware and seem to wish desperately to move past their current position, but no one brings up their one-time uber-popularity besides them. Psychologically they’re one of the most insanely confusing bands ever to grace my eardrums.

So in an album full of cries about how much they hate music, hate touring, and hate their fans with song titles like “Don’t Start a Band,” “Turn the Radio Off,” and “The Joke’s On Me,” my favorite song is the one that reads most like how it’s intended. Reel Big Fish wants to wiggle their dicks at their record label one last time, and this song where they proclaim “kiss my ass, I won’t be back” followed by the album closer “Your Guts (I Hate ‘Em)” does the job just fine. It’s no coincidence that I listened to this song as I exited on the last day of my previous job. It’s a wonderful way to close out a shitty chapter in your life.

Just for comparison: Check out “One Hit Wonderful” on that same album to get a glimpse of the personal hell bands carve out for themselves by creating a hit song and having wave after wave after wave of fan beg you to play it when all you want to do is try something new. It’s like a heartbreaking episode of “Tales from the Crypt” where someone is unjustly trapped in eternal hell for a crime they didn’t commit.

“Love Song” by Sara Bareilles

 

What it sounds like: A strong feminist declaration of empowerment directed at some slacker ass, mouth-breathing dude who thinks that just because he took out the garbage once, he deserves his own love song (and likely a parade, a coronation and a BJ). He ain’t getting one, and Sara Bareilles is here to stand up for women everywhere! He’s not the god he thinks he is, and he can’t just push you around anymore! You’re woman, dammit!

What it’s actually about: According to the omnipresent Wikipedia, “Sara Bareilles was inspired to write Love Song after failing to produce successful hits, and one critic said that she needed to write “a marketable love song”. Bareilles has stated that that statement gave her the drive and anger necessary to write Love Song, proving that she could indeed write a hit, and that she had no double standards.”

Saddest lyrics: You and your twisted words / Your help just hurts / You were not what I thought you were / Hello to high and dry

Why it matters: I loves me a good song about saying “fuck you” to a record label, and I loves me a good “fuck you” to the critic song too. Seeing anyone take hold of their life, their art, their inspiration makes me feel good inside. I thought this song was another in an endless parade of songs about ex-lovers, and a good one at that. But knowing it’s about some jackass critic telling an artist she can’t do something without their advice is even better.

This song has awesome piano in it, good vocal inflection, and a catchy tune. When I thought it was about a dude, even though I dug the track, I had that irrational but pervasive fear every dude has about a song like this that all of a sudden their lady is going to wake up and decide she doesn’t need you anymore. You worry about becoming Dave Coulier in “You Oughta Know” where all of a sudden you’re the butt of a widely popular piece of pop culture that paints you as the villain. Fortunately that’s not the case here.

But what sucks is that should this website gain popularity, it’s something we probably should worry about. Hart and I both hate the writing of Jeff MacGregor at ESPN.com, and if we became popular, dealing with the scorn of that fathead isn’t exactly at the top of my list of things to do. So there’s that.

But still, this is a cool song, so good for Sara Bareilles.

Just for comparison: Check out the aforementioned “You Oughta Know” by Alanis Morrisette for a song with some zeal in taking down an ex-boyfriend a peg or two.

“Song for the Dumped” by Ben Folds Five

What it sounds like: A jaunty, happy thumb to the eye to some lousy tramp who broke up with Ben Folds.

What it’s actually about: Well, basically it’s a jaunty happy thumb to the eye to some lousy tramp who broke up with Ben Folds. Yeah, there’s really no subtext here considering the song has only about 10 different lines in it.

Saddest lyrics: So you wanted to take a break / Slow it down some and have some space / Well fuck you too / Give me my money back / Give me my money back / you bitch

Why it matters: Lady E likes to tell a story about seeing Ben Folds in concert where he says, “So, when I wrote this next song, I apparently wrote it wrong. This is how it should have sounded.” And he proceeded to play the most depressing, melancholy piano set with lots of down notes, a slower tempo, and a much darker overall feel before he got fed up with it and began to rock out again.

Break ups suck. No one likes going through them, but there comes a point where you’ve just got to smile, dust yourself off, and move on down the road. That doesn’t mean you forget any of it, it just means enough time has passed where dwelling in the sadness doesn’t make sense anymore and if you do, you should almost certainly grow out your bangs, slap on some guy liner and start drinking coffee at Denny’s because you are an emo bitch who needs to grow up.

That doesn’t mean you can’t still be bitter and wail about that bitch co-opting your black t-shirt and never returning it after you broke up. Shit, one of my exes has a black Yaga sweatshirt of mine that I still miss. I realize Yaga is woefully out of fashion and likely doesn’t even exist anymore as a company, but fuck man, I loved that sweatshirt.

“Song for the Dumped” is just like it sounds. You’ve been dumped, you likely have lost a shitload of money on dinners you didn’t want to pay for, car trips to visit her family you didn’t even like, and expensive gifts that weren’t reciprocated. What’s left to do but happily cry out “fuck you too” over a bubbly piano and move on. It’s fucking great.

Just for comparison: Check out the song construction of “Say It Ain’t So” by Weezer. From a musical standpoint, it’s one of the most depressing songs ever. Lyrically – I have no idea if they’re being serious about someone with a bad drug addiction or if this song is a farce. You’re on your own.

“Bohemian Rhapsody” by Queen

 

What it sounds like: So, okay, I realize I’m bending the rules here again, but it’s not like you need me to explain what Bohemian Rhapsody sounds like. It’s a full-blooded 6 minute rock opera with five distinctive parts and over 5,500 words dedicated to it on Wikipedia. If you don’t know what Bohemian Rhapsody sounds like either click the link above or watch Wayne’s World again and move out of that cave you live in.

What it’s actually about: There are a ton of theories as to what this song is about. “Some believe the lyrics describe a suicidal murderer hunted by demons or depict events just preceding an execution. The latter explanation points to Albert Camus’s novel The Stranger, in which a young man confesses to an impulsive murder and has an epiphany before he is executed, as probable inspiration. Others believe the lyrics were only written to fit with the music, and have no meaning; Kenny Everett quoted Mercury as claiming the lyrics were simply ‘random rhyming nonsense.’”

Yet still others believe, as I do, that it’s Freddie Mercury’s way of dealing with personal issues which include his first gay love affair despite living with a woman at the time.

Saddest lyrics: Too many to choose from, but I’ll go with: “Mama, life had just begun, / But now I’ve gone and thrown it all away / Mama ooo, / Didn’t mean to make you cry / If I’m not back again this time tomorrow / Carry on, carry on, as if nothing really matters”

Why it matters: You’re probably thinking this song is woefully out of place on this list as it makes its intentions clear from the get go. It’s a tragic depiction, either literal or metaphorical, of a young man with a fatalistic view of his ultimate demise. The tone of the song compliments the lyrics perfectly, and everything is in unison from start to finish. The tone shifts from elegiac, to accepting, to defiant, to regret, to the end. What’s it doing here?

Well, over time, thanks to Wayne’s World and thousands of enthusiastic performances on karaoke night by drunk bar patrons all across the English speaking world, this song has taken on new meaning through no fault of its own. The scene in Wayne’s World with Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, and the three metalheads in the backseat is not only the most iconic scene from that movie, but is probably one of the 10 most iconic scenes from any movie in the 1990s. Find someone who dislikes that scene, and I’ll find you someone who hates puppies, ice cream, Santa, and blow jobs. Yeah, all of them. Because you won’t find anyone who hates that scene. It’s that good.

As a result, and because you don’t have to sing worth shit because the entire bar will join in with you, this is a karaoke staple. Last weekend Lady E and rocked out to this at our favorite local drink, and I swear to God, not a soul in the entire place (not even the bartenders) were sitting still for it. Everyone was belting it out with gusto, and it was like watching “Crocodile Rock” all over again. One of the best songs ever made has been re-appropriated by drunks everywhere as a feel good drinking anthem, and yet somehow it still doesn’t lose any of its prestige. It’s fucking amazing.

The song itself is beautiful, and no matter how you feel about opera personally, there’s no denying its ability to tell an amazing emotional saga. Queen’s “Bohemian Rhapsody” accomplishes this while still managing to rock and not bring down a jubilant tavern full of townies. Amazing. If this isn’t one of the best songs ever written, then I don’t know anything.

Just for comparison: Are you kidding? There’s only one Bohemian Rhapsody. My Chemical Romance tried to create something of this scope with their entire Black Parade album, but didn’t really come close. That album’s good, but something like Bohemian Rhapsody is once a lifetime.

Until next time…

edagger@crujonessociety.com