Cru Jones Society

 

Good Morning! Why are we so happy today? Because it’s Friday and tomorrow starts a three day weekend. We have plans of debauchery to fill all three days. That’s only half true. But before we get to the shenanigans we have plenty of links to help you ease into the weekend. So let’s get to it so we can start the weekend already.

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Since being sent the link to textsfromlastnight.com we have been checking it on a daily basis. We came across this one from yesterday: (708): “Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed – creepy.” This Illinois chick (or dude) should just be appreciative the guy stopped at a poster and didn’t take the next step as demonstrated by these folks. Also one of the classiest tramp stamps we’ve ever seen.

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Last night, in the Rockies 9-0 victory over the Atlanta Braves, Aaron Cook pitched a complete game, faced 32 batters, and tossed 108 pitches. About a week ago, in the Angels loss to the Rangers, John Lackey pitched less than an inning, faced one batter, and threw 106 pitches less than Cook. The second pitch did not result in a line drive taking him out of the game. John Lackey was ejected after his second pitch. We didn’t see the pitches so we can’t say if the ump was in the right or not, but because Lackey plays for the Angels, Hart is all for the call, and wanted to add, “Ha-ha.”

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One of our Monday Confessional questions was what is your favorite video game of all time? Although it is a classic and still fun to play, nobody mentioned Mike Tyson’s Punch Out (later known just as Punch Out).  Regardless of what our readers say, or rather don’t say, Nintendo still thinks Punch Out is a great game, so much so they have revamped it and released an updated version for the Wii. Judging from this review, our own nostalgia, and boredom from fighting the same mother fucker on Wii Sport we are looking forward to playing this game.

By the way, we have another Confessional coming up. With a three day weekend for most of us it is a perfect opportunity to see a movie. And with the summer blockbusters already rolling out, and less than optimal forecast, at least in the Denver metro area, you should go check one out. Before you do though, shoot us an email at staff@crujonessociety.com and let us know: Which summer movie release are you most excited for and which one do you think looks most likely to suck balls? Then check back in next week and maybe someone will have the same answer and you can make a date.

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This week started out with us wanting to know your favorite song of all time. Then yesterday Dagger talked about deceptively sad songs. So keeping with the music theme of the week, the AV Club has this interview with Lord Grunge of Grand Buffet. They talk about a lot of the songs Lord Grunge likes. For those of you that have been down from day one, you may remember Dagger’s concert review of Grand Buffet. If you don’t remember, or you weren’t around from the start, here it is.

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First Madden, now Kornheiser. Football season is starting to sound better everyday!

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We are all for Jenny McCarthy. We are also for an end in autism. This made this article a bit sad, but also funny. In addition, Dan O’Brien makes some very good points that should definitely be considered. We’re really having a hard time making jokes about this. Fuck autism!

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Is there anything Lance Armstrong can’t do? Win 7 straight Tour de Frances. Check! Beat several types of cancer. Check! Bang Sheryl Crow. Check! Power the ESPN studios on a stationary bike connected to the main power source. Check! Use said stationary bike idea to inspire the University of Oregon to try hooking elliptical machines to generate some of their electricity. Check! Place foot on the moon before any other human. Check! Wait, wrong Armstrong on that last one. Even without the moon thing it is still a really impressive resume.

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Remember how much fun college was with all the binge drinking, sex having, easy life living? Remember how after four years you thought you were grown up and ready to make the world your bitch? Then remember the way you cried when you got to the real world and it kicked your ass? Yeah sucked, right? If only this advice had been available. If you’re still in college, be sure to read this a couple of times. In fact print it out and look at it daily.

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The Denver Nuggets are in the Western Conference Finals. We make no qualms about jumping on the band wagon while they’re kicking ass. We had that great Billups story last week, and we have a couple more Nuggets related links this week. This first has to do with the scheduling mistake made for the Pepsi Center on Memorial Day. That story has been flogged to death but we enjoyed Jeff Pencek’s solutions. We got this link from Scott’s Blog of Doom, which can be found on the right side of your screen under “links.”

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This next Nuggets news piece details the trials they Nuggets have faced. Things like cancer, drug addiction, two knee surgeries on one body; the type of stuff most teams would be stopped dead in their tracks from. After defeating such foes, Kobe Bryant and Jack Nicholson shouldn’t any trouble.

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Have you ever wondered what the song Tall Cans would sound like if it were unplugged, slowed down, and the vocals were enunciated and harmonized? If you have then you are in luck because Mark Hoppus has done all those things to make this the best cover we have ever heard.

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We are not sure if this article is a happy story about reuniting family; or a sad commentary on the state of our society. The former is supported by the fact a woman was able to find her long lost brother. The latter is in the detail that the two lived across the street from each other, for more than two years. One hand a joyous family reunion; on the other, it took two fucking years to meet your neighbor. Talk about being self-involved.

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Here’s a story of three brothers involved in a feud over their candy businesses. Not particularly too interesting. We include it because we got a kick out of the brothers’ names: George, Greg, and Socrates. You read that correctly, and probably pronounced it like Bill and Ted, SO-crates. The real story here is not about candy stores, it’s about spending 56 years named after a brilliant philosopher. Tell us about that, not about the candy stores.

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Taking Back Sunday has a new album out. This song is not on it. But we inexplicably enjoyed this video. In a nut shell, it’s a stick figure send up set to one of the most unapologetically goofy emo punk songs ever written.

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On June 1^st The Tonight Show gets its fifth different host as Jay Leno relinquishes the thrown to Conan O’Brien. If you cannot wait one more week to see what the new set will look like then you can check it out here. Looks pretty cool to us, though I may have a hard time getting used to the band being to Conan’s left instead of his right, but I’ll get over it.

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See ya at fat camp…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com