Cru Jones Society

 

That’s right, kiddies, it’s Friday, and it’s Jager-thirty. After a short work week, we are ready to for more drinking. Dagger’s off to a wedding in the garden state, leaving Hart here to fill your work day with time wasting links. So toss back a shot, send a long distance high five, and let’s rock this bitch!

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Esquire has become our new summer drinking guide. First they helped us out at the Kentucky Derby with recipes for Gin Rickeys and Ward Eight Coolers. Now they give us this delightful combination of beer and tequila cleverly dubbed “The Beer Margarita.” I’m going to attempt to order one at while I’m out tonight.

Maybe “The Beer Margarita” isn’t for you. Perhaps you would prefer lime tinted beer? Minty mojitos? Fruit filled frozen daiquiris? Do you like pina coladas? We want to know: What is your favorite summer libation? Tell us, and we’ll put them in the Monday Confessional. As always send your response to staff@crujonessociety.com. If we don’t know about it, we can’t have it on hand at all CJS picnics and bbqs!

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Once I received a phone call from Dagger. He asked me to get on imdb.com and search out the actor who played the main kid in Flight of the Navigator. It’s Joey Cramer, not one of the Savage boys as a certain lady who shall remain nameless thought. For the three of us, and maybe some of you, this movie was a classic from our childhood, which of course means it is time for Hollywood to crap all over it. That’s right folks, at less than 25 years old; this movie is getting a remake. Suddenly Land of the Lost doesn’t look so bad.

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Step one: click here. Step two: in new window, scroll down to Wednesday, May, 27. Step three: click “New CD Complies Colorado Punk Rock.” Step four: listen. Heads up it is about 14 minutes long. This may seem like a bit more work than we usually ask of you, but if you are interested in the history of local music, then it is well worth it.

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Well, it looks like Hooper was wrong in Chasing Amy as Archie ain’t gay. Vindication for Banky I suppose, but we all die a little inside knowing that his idea of talking both Betty and Veronica into a 3-way is definitely less likely now. Bummer… At least there’s always fan fiction, and Hollywood is probably working on a live action version as we speak.

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Lots of ball parks give away t-shirts or bobble heads to entice fans to come watch their team. We go to watch our team, but that’s just us. But here’s a list of a few promotions a bit out of the ordinary. Unfortunately nobody is doing a free range chicken night.

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When we visit Vegas, we love getting fatty-boom-a-latty discounts like these. We also love playing craps. One trip out there our slightly confused friend had four come bets going on, which is a lot to keep track of. Had we been at the table with this woman rolling for four straight hours (and 18 minutes), he would have made mad-crazy ducats. To put here feat into perspective, the average craps roll is about 3 minutes. If we were mathematicians we wouldn’t have this site, also we would be able to tell you how many average rolls her record equals.

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Senor Limon once wrote an open letter to the “Assholes Who Keep Calling My Cell Phone.” About his supposed car warranty expiring. Well after 11 months the issue has been resolved. And resolved the American way, with a lawsuit!

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Pop quiz hot shot!

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We generally don’t give two shits about vampires. But we know before Twilight was making panties wet, there was Buffy. We also understand the key to Buffy’s popularity was due largely to Joss Whedon. And making a new Buffy movie without Whedon would be like making a Star Trek movie without Gene Roddenberry. What? They haven’t made a Star Trek movie with Gene in 18 years? Oh, well then fuck it. We liked the Kristy Swanson, Whedon-less original movie better than the series anyway.

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When we read about Toys R Us acquiring FAO Schwartz all we had an idea for a movie sequel, “Bigger.” All we have for this movie is Geoffrey the Giraffe and Tom Hanks playing “Chop Sticks” on that giant piano. Honestly it’s an hour and a half of that.

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If you thought that movie idea was bad, wait until you read about this Twitter inspired television show. Essentially it is a reality show encouraging young paparazzi to pursue their dreams of annoying everybody. We won’t be on the show, but you can still follow us on Twitter!

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The Nuggets are still in the playoffs, so we are still on the bandwagon. Rick Reilly, however, has been down with the Nuggets from day one. But even he has taken to the last resort of a desperate man. He has written a letter to the lord almighty himself asking to fulfill a childhood dream of seeing the Nuggets hoist the title.

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We don’t always write about advertising campaigns, but when we do, we write about Dos Equis guy. Stay thirsty my friends.

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We miss powder puff football.

Be a good sport, always!

See ya in the showers…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com