Cru Jones Society

 

As you may have noticed, I often allude to the Muppets on this website. I don’t do this out of nostalgia or irony, nor are the Muppets a guilty pleasure of mine, but more on that on Monday. I reference the Muppets because I genuinely and sincerely love the Muppets. Now it’s time to light the lights; it’s time to dress up right; it’s time to get things started.

Like many people around my same age, Sesame Street helped raise me. That was my first exposure to these wonderful Muppets. And this was in a time when Elmo was a secondary character, not running half the frickin’ show. Grover taught me valuable lessons like the difference between near and far. Monsterpiece Theater and Alistair Cookie showed me my first parodies. Count Von Count helped me learn to, well, count. Along with many more brightly colored and eccentric characters, and what passes for comedy to children, I enjoyed learning and this joy for learning has stayed with me ever since.

My mom was a fan of the Muppet Show during its original run, and so I was privileged enough to have her introducing me to it. I didn’t fully understand what was going on, and I often felt there was too much singing, but the Kermit and company were bright and they made me laugh. Naturally this turned me onto Muppet Babies and all movies featuring the Muppets.

Unfortunately I grew up. I hit that awesomely awkward time of middle school. And in trying to fit I felt I was too cool for the Muppets. I cast them aside until they began to adorn clothing and it was somewhat fashionable to wear a shirt with Oscar the Grouch with the letters O.G. on it in a send up of the Calvin Klein shirts that were popular at the time.

 

Then I hit high school and began to realize that I didn’t give a fuck of what other people thought. I listened, watched, and did things that I enjoyed. So I dusted off my old Muppet VHS and saw them in a whole new light. I watched The Muppet Movie and apart from the slapstick, and the puns, and the general fact the stars are puppets; the theme to the movie is very grown up. Kermit is pursued by a rich guy who owns a chain of restaurants that specializes in frog legs. Clearly there was a large demand for frog leg gourmet in 1979. This rich guy wants Kermit to be a spokes-frog for the restaurant. Kermit doesn’t agree with the concept or the idea and turns the man down. Kermit sticks to his principals and doesn’t sell out. This is something that would be lost to a child but as an adult it was clear as day.

The other tape I retrieved was a recorded from television Christmas special called A Muppet Family Christmas. This movie has since become a holiday tradition for me, as well as my sister. In this film the Muppet gang surprise Fozzie’s Mom by showing up at her house for Christmas. She was on her way out and had rented the place to Doc and Sprocket from Fraggle Rock fame. The usual weirdo Muppet happenings happen and just when you think it can’t get any better the Sesame Street crew show up. This leads to what has become one of my favorite exchanges in any Muppet film, also another joke I didn’t fully understand as a child.

Bert and Ernie enter the house and immediately run into Doc (who by the way is in Boondock Saints playing a bartender with tourettes and slightly ruins my childhood).

Ernie: Oh, Hi there. Hey, we’re Ernie and Bert.

Doc: Well, hi there yourself. I’m Doc.

Bert: Did you know “doc” begins with the letter “D?”

Doc: Why, Yes.

Ernie: “Yes” starts with the letter “Y.”

Doc: True.

Ernie: And “true” starts with the letter “T.”

Doc: Heeey, what is this?

Bert: Where we come from this is small talk.

That is just a clever exchange. One of those moments that is thrown in to make the show educational, but also a joke for the parents to enjoy. It is a nice break from the plethora of Christmas songs that consume the movie.

Now switching gears slightly, I have found there are three Muppets I can still relate to fairly well. I look to these three and still find inspiration and encouragement on a daily basis. But also I can look to them and realize nobody is perfect, and that is ok.

First there is Kermit the Frog. Kermit for a long time has been a favorite of mine. This is due mainly because he is green, but also because he will assume the leadership role. When I was young I often had a predilection towards the leaders. Chip and Dale’s Rescue Rangers I preferred Chip; Pinky and The Brain I was a Brain man. I think the only cartoon this didn’t apply to was Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles; I thought Leonardo was a massive tool, even before I knew what the hell massive tool meant.

But recently there is one Kermit scene in The Muppet Movie that I have been able to relate to. Their car breaks down in the desert. Kermit wanders away from the group and begins talking to himself. He gets down on himself because he feels he let everyone down. Nobody feels that he has, but he can’t shake the feeling. Often I feel that I am letting people down. Mainly I feel I am not meeting up to the standards I set for myself, and feel that people know that I have let them down. As far as anyone has told me, I haven’t let anybody down. So now when I start to think that, I just remind myself of Kermit and realize it is all in my head. And like Kermit I am doing the best I can, and people will always accept me if I do that.

I kind of brought the room down there. Let’s pick things back up with the biggest weirdo of the bunch, Gonzo. Gonzo is fucking punk rock. He’s got the unusual style, he’s kind of an outcast, but he doesn’t give a fuck. He embraces his individuality. He’s the kind of, um person, that will look at himself and be like,” yeah I’m not perfect or good looking, but I have personality and I am awesome. If you don’t like it, I don’t care. I’ll find someone who does.” I have found this a great way to live, to quote Zebrahead, “1, 2. Fuck you. I won’t change for you.” That is how Gonzo is and that is how I try to be.

Kermit and Gonzo are good, but for my money the one Muppet I look up to and respect the most is Fozzie Bear. On my monitor I have a quote from George Burns that reads, “I’d rather fail doing something I love than succeed at something I hate.” On the other side of that I have Fozzie sticker. I believe Fozzie embodies this quote. Fozzie loved to tell jokes. He would take the Muppet Show stage and tell joke after joke and they would bomb. He would get heckled and pulled off the stage. The next week he would be back up there again. And again he would bomb. But he kept doing it. He loved to tell jokes and perform and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him.

Watching Fozzie fall short episode after episode helps to keep me at this keyboard. I know I don’t always write the greatest pieces, but dammit I love doing this. When I fall short I don’t give up, I just try harder next time. If Fozzie can get up week after week then, dammit so can I.

Now I know I’m 26, and love brightly colored puppets, but that’s who I am. They make me happy, and still after all these years they continue to teach me things. If I ever have kids you better believe they will be watching all things Muppet, and I’ll be right next to them. Until the rainbow connection is found, we’ll keep searching; the lovers, the dreamers, and me.

See ya where sunny day chase the clouds away…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com