I think this candy has gone bad 

I am currently trying to reduce the amount of sugar in my diet. At times this seems like a hard task. Mainly when I’m at work and every other office or cubicle has a damned bowl of candy on their desk. But with will power I have been pretty good about ignoring it. I also try distracting my mind and I started thinking about the names of some candies, much like I did months ago with soda.

So I started doing research into how some candies got names that were some what baffling. You know what I found out? Not a whole lot of people know why candies have the names they do. Seriously I was doing a lot of searching and not a single website could tell my why Twix is called Twix. I was able to find out is used to be called Raiders, but no information as to why it was called that. They changed the name to Twix in hopes in would sell better. But no information was found on why those in charge chose the name Twix. Same results with Skittles. So due to the internet being full of information that doesn’t help, and the fact that a lot of candies have boring origins like named after its creator, Mr. Heath, I narrowed my list down to four candy bars. One of which I have only had maybe twice in my life. Well, working with what I have, I present to you the origins to four candy bar names.

Baby Ruth

Going going gone

With its chocolate, peanuts and caramel or nougat or some kind of goo, Baby Ruth offers a taste not found with many other candy bars. The nuts are the part I like. Insert gay joke here. Baby Ruth is useful mainly for fooling people into thinking there is a turd in the pool or to make friends with Sloth.

Where We Think the Name Comes From

The Great Bambino, the Sultan of Swing. Or a dozen other names that the kids in the Sandlot can rattle off with the same ease Snoop can name varieties of weed. If you’re still lost, I am talking about the great baseball player George Herman “Babe” Ruth. You know, the guy who set the standard for home runs.

How Far Off Are We?

Depending on what you want to believe, pretty far off, or right on the money. Due to Ruth not wanting to sign off on his name with out getting paid, I mean he didn’t have some sweet shoe contract, the makers of Baby Ruth insist their candy is named after Grover Cleveland’s daughter, Ruth Cleveland. This may be fine and true, but seems odd since the candy bar came out during the rise of The Great Bambino, and 15 years after Ruth Cleveland passed away. By the way, nothing says tasty candy like the name of a First Daughter who has been dead 15 years.

Random Fun Fact

A giant illuminated sign for Baby Ruth was installed on a roof in Chicago near the spot where Babe Ruth’s famous “Called Shot” of the 1932 World Series landed. Not named for him my ass.

100 Grand Bar

New era, time to change the name to Hundy Grand Bar

The 100 Grand Bar is made of chocolate, caramel, and Rice Krispies, only not real Rice Krispies, more like the Kroger brand Crispy Rice. This is the candy bar on this list that I have only had twice. It’s not like it’s a gross candy, but it’s not good enough to warrant a purchase when I’m drunk in 7-11 and candy sounds amazing.

Where We Think the Name Comes From

A large ass amount of money! We suspect the naming process went a little something like this: two men are sitting in a room trying to think of a name for their new candy bar.

Guy One: Everyone seems to enjoy those gold coins that are actually candy. Why don’t we borrow from that and name our candy bar after wealth.

Guy Two: The gold coin bar?

Guy One: No! You there, intern, what is the largest amount of money you can think of?

Intern: Uh, a hundred grand?

Guy One: Brilliant!

How Far Off Are We?

As far as what the name is all about, we’re dead on. On how they came up with it, we’re in the Shire and the real answer is in Mordor. So far in this post my heterosexuality has been questioned and my inner nerd has surface. It’s a red letter day for me.

The original name for the candy bar was $100,000 Bar. This amount was chosen because of a popular games show, The Big Surprise, which had a prize of $100,000. The name was changed to 100 Grand in the 80′s when 100 Grand became a popular term.

Random Fun Fact

Many radio DJs will prank people by offering a certain numbered caller a 100 Grand. The winner was often upset when they showed up and were handed a candy bar. One Kentucky woman couldn’t take the joke and sued. She probably lost and is out another 100 Grand.

Kit Kat

“Break me off a piece motha fucka!” “Get yer own biotch!”

In its simplicity, crispy wafers covered in chocolate, Kit Kat is a fan favorite. And with its convenient four segments and catchy, um catch phrase, you’re always guaranteed to have a friend asking you to break him off a piece of that Kit Kat Bar.

Where We Think the Name Comes From

We are stumped on this. Not even a guess. It’s like we’re on Coffee Talk and we’re talking amongst ourselves about how a Kit Kat bar is neither a kit nor a kat. I don’t know, maybe the original recipe called for some cat and to get around regulations they called it a “kat.” That’s really the best I can come up with.

How Far Off Are We?

Since we had no clue and made something up on the spot, we’re about as close to right as Pluto is at being recognized as a planet again. The Kit Kat bar was named after a 1920′s London Jazz Club, the Kit Kat Club. “Kit Kat” does have that 20′s jazz jive lingo vibe. And they come in pieces that could be used as drum sticks. That is if you’re the kind of person who plays with their food.

Random Fun Fact

Kit Kat has appeared in the same classic red and white wrapper for all of its existence, except for two years during the Second World War when milk was being rationed and Kit Kat was made with a plain chocolate. During this time it came in a blue wrapper. Clearly Kit Kat fears change.

Snickers

That’s older than your mom

Snickers is one of the most popular candy bars world wide. And with its peanuts and caramel and awesomeness we understand why. Also have you ever had the Snickers ice cream bar? Ice cream irritates my colitis, but I would make that sacrifice for a Snickers ice cream bar. It’s that good.

Where We Think the Name Comes From

When I hear the word “snicker” I think of a laugh, usually a more sinister type of one, but a laugh none the less. So eating Snickers will cause you to snicker, either from giddiness caused by its tastiness, or the sugar rush, or the fact that you have just ruined your dinner.

How Far Off Are We?

So far we’re 0 for 3. Well, let’s make that a perfect record. Never in a million years would we have ever gotten this right. This candy bar was named after the Mars family’s favorite horse. You read that correct, a candy bar named after a horse. Somehow this seems less appealing than a candy named after a dead daughter of a president, only slightly. I don’t think I will ever be able to eat a Snickers again without taking a bite then saying, “Needs more horse.” Ignorance truly is bliss sometimes.

Random Fun Fact

Chef Anthony Worrall Thompson created a pie that included five Snickers bars. One slice contains over 1,250 calories and qualified the Snickers Pie as one of the unhealthiest desserts ever. Wendy’s is considering adding a slice to their Diabetes Explosion.

I never figured out where the name Twix came from, but I am so tired of candy know I don’t care if I ever eat any again, save Gummi Bears, those things are awesome! I hope you learned something and will one day use this information at a trivia contest. Again if I didn’t cover your favorite candy it was probably because I couldn’t find any information, or it has a boring origin. But feel free to surf the net yourself to look for the answers.

Officer, that’s not ours

See ya at Halloween…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com

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