Comments on: Thoughts on Gender w/Def Jam, Adam Carolla, G.I. Joe, and Barbie & The Rockers

By: F-U-Natalie

F-U-Natalie — Thu, 30 Jul 2009 19:35:58 +0000

I know I’m a little late posting a comment but I didn’t have the chance to read this article until late Monday night and yesterday I had to do a thing called “work” – how rude! Anyway, since reading this article I’ve been thinking about it a lot and here are my thoughts.
First of all, I was raised the oldest of three girls by a father that is the ultimate handy guy. As a result, we were treated like the sons my dad never had. I was the one that helped my dad with all the heavy lifting, hanging drywall, etc. I think most people would say these are “guy” skills but that wasn’t the case at our house. Balancing that, my mom is a chef and loves to sew so she taught us those types of skills.
Then I grew up and married Prince Charming. He grew up in a house where he too was taught a variety of skills. So, when we set up house we divided responsibilities not by typical gender roles but based on our own anal retentive tendencies. For example, Prince Charming is particular about how the dishwasher is loaded and unloaded so he does dishes. He can’t remember what I dry and don’t dry (yes, it’s a gril thing!) so I do laundry. He does the yard because I’m physically unable but I pull weeds. We both divide up cooking, cleaning, caring for the dog and our son. Mostly at our house we prescribe to the “if it’s gotta get done, it’s gotta get done” philosphy so whoever’s available takes care of the task at hand. I would say one of the reasons we have such a strong marriage is because we are both well versed in various areas so not one person has sole responsibility in any one area.
Finally, comes the topic or raising our son. We were actually just talking about this the other day because I said that I definitely want our son to have a doll when I’m pregnant with our next child. Prince Charming has no problem with this. We’ve also discussed that our children will learn how to do basic car maint, home repairs, mow the lawn, sew on a button, iron, laundry, cooking, cleaning, manage money, etc no matter what their gender is. Because these aren’t gender roles THESE ARE LIFE SKILLS. I feel that those that can do a variety of skills are more well rounded and do better in life and those that only know sterotypical gender roles never reach their full potential. As I get off my soap box and peform the ultimate gender role of producing nourishment for my son.

By: Deuce

Deuce — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:27:17 +0000

Good point Keithage, but I think that tides back to Gutter’s remarks about “if it makes them happy to do it and isn’t hurting anyone else.” You as the responsible parent realize that at the end of the school day when you pick up your son, he’d probably be crying and definitely not happy because he was made fun of all day by his peers. So as a parent there is a balance in knowing everything that both makes your kids happy and unhappy and being able to look ahead to see if the unhappy would outweigh the happy.

By: keithage

keithage — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:11:08 +0000

Oh yeah, excellent disscusion piece Dagger.

By: keithage

keithage — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 22:09:41 +0000

Everybody has a different perspective on what gender roles are. Usually when you get those assholes who see you doing one thing when they expect you to be doing another it’s because thats what they expect the roles to be. If you are happy with what you do and who you are, then what difference does it make. That being said most people have a stopping point usually when it will cause the embarsement of yourself or your child. For example if your 12 year old boy wants to wear a dress to school. Most people think that they would always be supportive of a kid who wants to do what they enjoy, but at some point they will probably step in to keep the kid from humiliation by his peers.

By: Flickerbock

Flickerbock — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 19:30:48 +0000

Just FYI, Mr. Gutter – it is not that uncommon for men who do things like dance or gymnastics at a young age to be much more likely to succeed in athletics at a higher level (college for sure). The timing and flexibility and strength associated with these activities creates an incredibly solid base for your body in future athletic endeavors. Several of Mrs. Flickerbock’s relatives (or pseudo-relatives) did dance and gymnastics throughout their childhood and were the most agile and strongest big linemen I had ever seen. So you might want to draw that line in pencil. . .

By: Gutter

Gutter — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:49:52 +0000

I agree with everyone else, very well written article and I agree with it for the most part. One of my best friends growing up was my next door neighbor who was a girl. I can recall countless times that we played with My Little Ponies, Care Bears, G.I. Joes, Legos, etc… it wasn’t a boy thing or a girl thing, just something to do with a friend.
I do believe however there are some things that are wired within us that tend to appear as gender roles. For example, my little girl (who is about 17 months old) will hug her teddy bear and pat it on the back, not saying that young boys wouldn’t do the same to their beloved teddy bear, but it is pretty obvious she already exhibits certain “motherly” qualities that neither myself or the wife piece has taught her.
But to agree with Deuce’s point, growing up I was never told you can’t play with this or you can’t do that, so I see myself acting no different with my children, if it makes them happy to do it and it isn’t hurting anyone else then why not? Unless of course I have a son and he wants to do gymnastics, got to draw the line somewhere!

By: jitterrawks

jitterrawks — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 17:04:06 +0000

Dagger, I agree…it’s not the eroding gender roles in society that are the issue with what Carrolla rants about, it’s the combination of laziness and short attention spans. I have zero patience to learn how to fix my car or learn to sew…but I can spend hours perfecting my dodge moves in Punchout. Capitalism makes it so the time spent learning how to do valuable things for your own life (fixing things, etc) is invalid, as you can always just pay someone else to do it. While these would have been great lessons to learn when I was younger, under instruction by someone who was experienced in the matter, now I’m overwhelmed by what is needed to master such tasks. I can walk into a Home Depot or Michaels and be overwhelmed by the smells of lumbar and potpourri, and have no idea where to start looking to find my own solution. It’s much easier opening Google to find a plumber in my area than it is to snake a drain myself (to be fair, I did buy a snake attachment for my power drill…me + electricity + water does not end well). This will continue being a problem as the importance of people in trade positions is viewed as a failure of educated parents. I, for one, know Momma and Poppa Jitter would not have been stoked to see their daughter use her AP college credits towards cosmotology…and heaven forbid I have kids, they’re not going to learn much useful stuff from me…other than the locations of all the whistles in Super Mario 3. That right there is a life lesson everyone needs.

By: Deuce

Deuce — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 16:51:25 +0000

I second Flick’s comment and as someone that grew up with a cabbage patch kid, Thomas Bernard, I think people, in general should be able to partake in whatever they enjoy. Now that I have a child, I feel very impacted by the topics as I feel obligated to allow my son to experience whatever things in life he may choose to do (other than illegal activities).
I loved helping my mom in the kitchen when I was growing up and now I fancy myself a pretty good cook. My dad didn’t give me a hard time for it and I appreciate his attitude. On my Friday’s off I often do the house cleaning not because I don’t want to be a manly man (whatever that is), hardly, it’s because I enjoy spending time with my beautiful wife and sone on the weekends without having to worry about cleaning.
Moreover, I had a related conversation with Flickerbock not to long ago about the way fathers are protrayed in the raising of their kids. If I go out with Trey on a Friday and my wife isn’t there, I get all the “Oh, are you babysitting today?” or “Are you giving mommy a day off?” and that fact of the matter is NO. I am parenting and as the father I’m not just a financial supporter of the family, I am an active role in all the duties just like Mrs. Deuce and just like Trey will be someday. I hope our society is moving away from this tendency and I see nothing wrong if someday Trey wants to get a Care Bear or whatever.

By: Flickerbock

Flickerbock — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:18:56 +0000

Awesome article, Baby Gays. Loved the hell out of it.