Cru Jones Society

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: October 2, 1992
Box Office Total: $20,883,046
Team Featured: Chunichi Dragons

“Baseball…baseball is grown men getting’ paid to play a game. I bet when you were a kid you didn’t pick up a bat and ball because you were dying to work. A player’s career is short enough. Let ‘em enjoy it.” – Jack Elliot

The Transplants once asked, “Where do you go when your money’s all gone? When your friends all gone? When your love is all gone? No right turns all seem to be wrong.” Jack Elliot’s manager decided Japan is where you go. And for Jack, that has made all the difference.

Plot Synopsis

Jack Elliot is a one time World Series MVP, but that was four years ago. With his age has come diminished abilities and a sour attitude. On top of this his life is becoming a mess. He lost an endorsement deal due to drunk driving and often finds himself waking up in the beds of college girls. His team has just signed a young rookie who is smashing the ball like Troy Tulowitzki was the other night. That’s when his manager calls Jack into his office and lets him know he has been traded. Jack hopes it’s not Cleveland, anywhere but Cleveland.

It’s not Cleveland. It’s Japan.

We are then treated to several minutes of the culture shock. Oh everything is much too small for Jack’s large American frame and he upsets everyone when he leaves his shoes on. What hilarity. Once at the clubhouse he meets another American, Dennis Haysbert. Dennis quickly befriends Jack in order to help him survive the Japanese ways, also I think he was trying to sell Jack auto insurance.

Jack and his new manager, Uchiyama, quickly butt heads. Jack is a smart ass, after all he is American, but his translator translates incorrectly to Uchiyama to help Jack save face. The Japanese take their baseball very seriously and Jack is not used to that. He doesn’t like it all.

After Jack is suspended for basically not conforming to Japanese baseball customs, and Uchiyama is warned of being replaced, they end up becoming allies so they both can save their jobs.

Uchiyama teaches Jack the importance of working hard, good fundamentals, and being in harmony with your team. He also teaches him how to fix the hole in his swing that everyone can see, but Jack is to stubborn to notice.

In return Jack teaches Uchiyama that, “Baseball is a game. Games are supposed to be fun.”

Jack works hard then apologizes to his team while Uchiyama lightens up a little and they start playing the best baseball of the season. Jack even went on a seven game home run streak, one shy of beating Uchiyama’s record. This all takes them to a pennant game against the Giants, not those Giants, where Jack and Uchiyama’s new found knowledge of the game is put on display. After two intentional walks and being hit by a pitch, Jack is up for his last a bat. We sit in anticipation wondering if this will be where he homers and breaks the record.

In attendance at the pennant game is a scout for the Los Angeles Dodgers with Jack’s agent. After the game Dennis Haysbert is offered a position with the Dodgers, while Jack is relegated to coaching the Detroit Tigers. So much for a happy ending.

Treatment of Baseball/Quality of Baseball Scenes

It is no surprise that Dennis Haysbert looks like a ball player; this is one of at least four baseball movies he has been in. I would say Selleck surprised my by how good his baseball abilities looked, but come on he’s Tom “Motha’ Fuckin’” Selleck. Is there anything he can’t do? For those wondering, the answer is no.

As for the Japanese ball players, I don’t know if they were actors hired to act like ball players or ball players hired to act. I’m not going to read all their imdb pages to find out, I don’t have the time, and I don’t care enough. The point is they all could pass as ball players. The baseball in this movie looked good.

Then there is the added bonus of everyone acting like ball players when they are not playing as well. Jack tells Uchiyama to let his pitchers pitch or let the speedy runners try for the extra base. Or the chatter between players as they wait on base; Jack asks one base runner if he has any naked pictures of his wife, then asks if he wants to see some. The Japanese player has no idea what is being said, but Jack says it none the less. There is a really great scene during the pennant game where late in the game the Dragons are down and the dugout puts on their rally caps, one of the fun and unique traditions of baseball.

The best part is the running gag of the hot foot. Jack and his Yankee team mates do it to a rookie. Then Jack does it shortly after arriving in Japan. And right before the big game all of Jack’s new teammates are able to do it to him. The kind of lighthearted ribbing that we all like to imagine goes on in the clubhouse.

Annoying Romantic B-Story/Stifling Spouse?

Oh yeah!

 Jack is asked out by a reporter almost as soon as he lands in Japan. She says she just wants an interview but Jack doesn’t buy it, also what lady can resist Selleck? Seriously ladies, I want to know.

The romantic story is not as dominant as some of the other ones we have looked at, but those scenes are really slow and almost put me to sleep. In a rare twist though this romance story is weaved to help the plot along. As it turns out the reporter’s father is Uchiyama. Dum dum dum. So the friendship that develops between Jack and Uchiyama, the one that helps them both keep their jobs, comes from their desire to please the reporter. Had she and Jack not been dating, Uchiyama would have been fine to let Jack fail and be just another has been American ball player in Japan.

Final Thoughts

It has been a long time since I watched this movie. I haven’t watched it since I became a bigger baseball fan. It is a lot funnier and more fun to watch now that I love baseball. I really enjoyed seeing how seriously the Japanese take their baseball. It gives me a better insight as to why players like Ichiro are so good yet manage to not be total douche bags

As I have hinted at throughout this piece, Tom Selleck is awesome and watching him in a baseball movie is solid way to spend a couple of hours. The story is good, the baseball is good, and the romantic b-story doesn’t detract from the movie. And all though I do love The Bad New Bears, this has been the best movie I have reviewed so far.

Ruling from the Scorer: Despite a close throw to home, the triple brings in three.