Cru Jones Society

 

If we had to break this week down we would say that Monday felt like we were hurling through the air in a house. Tuesday we dealt with mindless, heartless and courage-less people. Wednesday we had to get a monkey off our backs which only lead to a confrontation with a real witch of a woman. Yesterday we met a weirdo who told us all we had to do was believe in our selves. But now it’s Friday and we’re on our way home. It’s not a short trip, but we have plenty of reading material. And like a good traveling companion we want to share it all with you. All you have to do is click your heels together three times and say, “There’s no place like Cru Jones Society. There’s no place like Cru Jones Society. There’s no place like Cru Jones Society.”

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How many of you actually clicked your heels together? Even if it was just one of you, that’s awesome. The odds are most of you got the reference there in the opening. The Wizard of Oz has that certain je ne sais quoi and has been able to endear itself to every generation so much so that a simple three heel click conjures up images of the movie. We love that about The Wizard of Oz. We also love the movie itself and find most girls who dress as Dorothy to be hot. So we are happy to be celebrating the movie’s 70^th anniversary! Here are some tid-bits about the movie you may or may not have known. Depending on the rate at which you read, the article syncs up to Pink Floyd’s Dark Side of the Moon.

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The MGM Grand in Las Vegas used to have a Wizard of Oz theme going on to it. While that has come and passed, there is always some new extravagant theme going on in Vegas. What’s next you ask? We’ll give you a hint: it has something to do with a recently departed famous person. If you said Les Paul, you would be wrong, but we would fully get on board with that. Les Paul was an amazing man and the music industry is better for him having been here and to quote Tom Morello, “If you have ever ‘rocked’ or ‘been rocked’ u [sic] can thank Les Paul.” But the attraction we’re talking about is Michael Jackson’s Neverland Ranch. There are talks going on about dismantling it and moving it to Las Vegas. Vegas is doing everything possible to shake that family friendly concept they tried a few years back.

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While we’re on the subject of family friendly fun, Alice Cooper is has a new tour going on. But Alice is not set on going out and rocking in his usual way. Working with the man responsible for directing the stage production of Disney’s Beauty and the Beast, Alice Cooper is set on creating a stage show more awesome than Pink Floyd’s The Wall, or that Spinal Tap one with the mini Stonehenge. For those playing along at home, that’s the second Pink Floyd reference, take two drinks.

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Perhaps Alice Cooper’ Theater of Death is too hard for you. Maybe you prefer your music punkier and with some political and religious over tones, oh and we’re not talking about, “Christ is God,” type religion, we’re talking praying 5 times a day religion. There is an emerging Muslim punk rock scene happening in America. We very much support this because A) it helps bring knowledge to a very naïve society in a non-preachy way and B) punk rock is the ultimate rebel music and from what I understand there is a lot to be rebelling against in the Islamic world. The Kominas are like NOFX, but instead of Jews they’re Muslim, and though we’ve never heard the Kominas we’re making a safe bet they’re music is better than that of NOFX.

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Music is a fine way to bridge gaps and teach tolerance, but for our money the way to go is the tried and true method of Sesame Street, or Shara’s Simsim as it is known Palestinian territories. Much like American children, Middle Eastern children love the wonderfulness that the Muppets bring to their television everyday. Sesame Workshop, the people behind Sesame Street, are using the children’s love of the show to teach kids alternatives to the violence they are exposed to on a daily basis as well as teaching them tolerance and love. It is what many are dubbing “Muppet Diplomacy.” The ultimate goal is to one day have the entire planet viewing the world like Kenneth Parcell, even if it means a stuffed camel has to become a POW.

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Maybe we should take a lesson from Shara’s Simsim and diversify our religious talk. How about with some Jewish revenge fantasies? What the hell are we talking about? Why the new Tarantino film, Inglourious Basterds, of course. We have two articles here that have gotten us to near childhood Christmas excitement levels. The first comes from GQ and is a straight forward with Tarantino and what he was going through while making the movie. The second is a fantastic look at why this movie will be different from most other Holocaust films. Such insights have us chomping at the bit. I’m even leaving work early to catch this one.

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From one of our movie heroes to a couple of our sports heroes, this just keeps getting better and better. First congratulations to Troy Tulowitzki for hitting for the cycle, becoming only the second person to have turned an unassisted triple play and hit for the cycle in their career.

ESPN, the world wide leader in sports, has finally pulled their head of their asses and wrote an article about something we in Colorado have known for years: Todd Helton kicks more ass than Shaft! Finally Helton is getting the love he rightfully deserves. But he is such the class act and the lack of coverage from ESPN didn’t bother him. Keep up the good work Todd and we’ll see in the post season, again!

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Tarantino, Tulo, Helton. All great people. But are they three famous people you would want to be stranded on a desert island with? If you recall, we have been playing Desert Island with the Monday Confessional. We have good tunes, good brew and now we need good company. So tell us: Who are three famous people you want to be stuck on the island with? Thinks about it and send you response to staff@crujonessociety.com. Be sure to include your posting name.

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It is no secret we here at the society loathe Boulder, specifically the University of Colorado, mainly stemming from the football rivalry. Then they go and do something completely ridiculous and piss us off even further. This time they gave one of the football players a blog and told him to chronicle what life is like as a collegiate football player. So he did, and he did it well from what we‘ve read. Very vivid detail, wonderful word choice, we were sucked in from the one paragraph we got to read. But Colorado Athletic Department said it was inappropriate to talk about casual sex, what happens after eating a large meal, and the tediousness of team meetings. Basically it was inappropriate to talk about what life is like as a collegiate football player. You don’t get a nickname like The People’s Republic of Boulder for nothing.

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This just in: Rick Pitino is a jack ass. So let’s see, a married Roman Catholic father of five (and successful college basketball coach) has sex with a 23 year-old at a table after a restaurant closes, then pays her $3000 to get an abortion. Awesome, enjoy your upcoming season, dick, er Rick.

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Alright. Let’s end this sports section on a fun note. What’s more fun than a look back and some goofy ass baseball uniforms through the years? We’ll probably a lot of things, but this is still kind of fun. Most of the fun comes courtesy of Rollie Fingers.

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There has been a theme in the news this week, sort of. Perhaps you heard about the idiot Cubs fan who threw his beer on Phillies outfielder Victorino as he attempted to field a ball. It was late in the game and the Cubs were getting womped. Classy move, asshole. Victorino caught the ball any way, the Cubs lost, and your retarded act is bringing assault charges, oh and you’re starting to make Red Sox fans look ok.

In the same vein as throwing a beer onto a player while he’s playing, earlier in the week someone threw a mug at the “Mona Lisa.” Apparently this is not the first time someone has attacked the classic painting. What do people have against the “Mona Lisa?” It’s not like it’s a painting of a cross in cup of urine. It’s a woman with some sort of weird half smile. And who throws a mug, honestly? It’s like it was some kind of domestic violence incident. Next thing we know Mona Lisa is going to come home only to find all her shit thrown out on the lawn.

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Those last few articles have made me angry. Let’s end this Happy Friday on a, well, happy note. Here are a few Saturday Night Live audition tapes. Ten minutes of Hartman! Yes!

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This week’s Demotivator brought to you by Big Science.

Have a fantastic weekend everybody!

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com