Cru Jones Society

 

I have just started an algebra class. I haven’t taken any kind of math class in 7 years or so. Also numbers and my brain don’t really get along, so I have been working hard at it and have fried a lot of the real information I try to keep up there. I have somehow managed to maintain these random thoughts and have juggled them around all weekend long. Now I will share them you, or annoy you with them. Either way, someone will have fun.

* If it wasn’t for Back to the Future I would never listen to Huey Lewis. So thanks a pant load Back to the Future!

* My favorite thing about being an adult is deciding that I can have pizza for breakfast or cereal for dinner. Last night I opted for the latter. It was Cinnamon Life and I was very content with my choice.

* Although the quality is not what it was when I was a kid, I still get excited when there is a toy prize in my cereal. Some of the fun is lost since it is usually just resting right on top, but I guess it is more sanitary that way. The last one I got was a Sid, from Ice Age, bobble pencil topper. He stares at me as I type.

* When Austin Powers learns the cold war ended, why does assume the Commies won?

* The problem with drinking while I do my homework is I never fully trust my bull shitting. But with a 3.9 GPA, I must be doing something right.

* I often wish I could write songs half as well as the musicians I admire. My songs are usually vapid and reminiscent of teenage poetry. Actually teenage poetry would be an improvement. I guess I’ll stick to the internet comedy writing.

* Blood oranges creep me out. They look like normal oranges on the outside, then you peel them and they are, as the name suggest, blood red. It’s like an orange that is cooked extremely rare. I don’t like that in my fruit. This only bugs me so much because they are so very tasty.

* Degrassi: The Next Generation has taught me that being a teenager in Canada is rough. Between classes, school violence, and getting date raped which leads to gonorrhea the kids in Canada have a lot more to deal with than I ever had in high school.

* Despite what the last musing would have you believe, I don’t watch Degrassi, unless I’m hungover and The Fugitive isn’t on. Or I’m bored. Or I watched part one of a two-parter and got drawn into the story, then part two makes me want to watch another episode.

* Not too long ago MxPx released an album of cover songs. One song they covered was Kim Wilde’s “Kids in America.” This is a fine song, but I know of at least four other punk bands that have released covers of this song, The Bouncing Souls, The Bloodhound Gang, The Muffs, and Lagwagon. And according to the end-all-be-all-site-of-knowledge, 35 bands have covered “Kids in America.” How many versions of one song do we need? It’s like it’s a fucking Christmas carol.

* Next musing courtesy of Daniel Tosh.

“Do you want to smoke some pot?”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because I’m not in 7^th grade and I have things to do.”

* Vanilla Ice’s movie, Cool as Ice, was on Spanish HBO the other day. I only caught the end but was upset that the final rap song was in English.

* Sometimes at work I play “Lava” with the different colored tiles. The hard part is when I have to open a door.

* No matter how bad chasing a shot with a different kind of shot may be it will almost always be better than a jack and crown and coke. Limon and I made that for someone who refused to drink it and like idiots trying to act tough, we indulged. That idea was as bad as letting Dagger make me a gin and tonic while there was a shit to of other alcohol in his drunken eye sight. The moral, don’t let my friends make drinks for me.

* If you were able to communicate with the past would you want to do it with a magic HAM radio or a magic mailbox? With the radio you get to talk to Dennis Quaid, with the mailbox you have to talk to Keanu Reeves, or Sandra Bullock. I didn’t see that movie and have no idea who was in the past and who was in the present. If those are my only options, I think I would be content with not talking to the past. Or I would use the radio and annoy Dennis Quaid by asking him about Randy Quaid movies.

* Diet Dr Pepper does taste more like regular Dr Pepper. Did you know there is no period after Dr in Dr Pepper? I think it’s a trademark thing.

* When I throw something away in a public place, mainly at work, and I miss the trash can I always go pick it up right away. Not so much in that I don’t like having a mess, I just don’t want a janitor to see it then take out a vendetta against me. Then one day when I unwisely toss out some incriminating evidence he will come across it and use it to cause me to lose my job.

* I hate being the only customer in the comic book store. The fat oaf who works there will tear himself away from his game of WOW and talk to me about shit I don’t particularly care about. Yeah I like comics, but I’m not a dork about it. I just want a couple issues of Spider Man, maybe a Fathom, and I want to look at the toys the store is selling. I don’t want to be talked to about whatever ultra nerd crap he heard about at comic con, and I definitely don’t want to hear anything about WOW.

* I have a friend getting married on Halloween, and she tells me costumes are not allowed to be worn. Why the hell have it on Halloween if costumes aren’t allowed? That’s bull shit and I’m not going. Unless she reads this, in which case I will be there, in proper attire.

* I thought I wanted a Rubix Cube. Then I got one. I solved one side and it has sat that way since January.

* In my Monday Confessional response to which summer movie I was most looking forward to I chose G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. I said it looked like, “balls to the wall action.” Well I went and saw it. It was packed with action and while it was no masterpiece, it entertained me. It was like a cross between The Rock, X-Men, and some kind of space sci-fi that is less good than Star Wars. I also stated that when I watched the cartoon I rooted for Cobra. That didn’t happen when I watched the movie. Except for the Baroness. I was rooting for her for sure. There’s something about a chick in glasses that gets me going.

* Speaking of cartoons, I met someone the other day that completely changed the way I look at Willie E. Coyote. This guy’s theory is that there was no Road Runner and Willie was just crazy and imagining the whole thing. The desert sun, and possibly something often found in cactus, just made this coyote snap and hallucinate. Think about it. You never see the ACME deliveries, there’s no way a desert coyote would be able to purchase such gadgets, and the Road Runner never activates traps and seems to defy the laws of physics more so than other cartoons. You may ask why he never catches the Road Runner if the whole thing is just a hallucination. Two reasons: First, we can’t always control hallucinations and second it could be part of a low self esteem issue or other various psychological problems that won’t allow him to succeed, not even in his mind. It’s a kind of Garfield Minus Garfield thing.

I’m going to use my psychology degree to over analyze children’s entertainment. There’s a future in that right?

See ya in the funny pages…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com