Cru Jones Society

 

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: September 17, 2004
Box Office Total: $21,811,187
Team Featured: Milwaukee Brewers 

“You know, a lot of people said that Stan only looked out for himself, that he wasn’t a team player. But I’m here to tell you, if you get 3000 hits, you don’t have to be a team player. If you have a lifetime .314 average, you don’t have to be a good guy. If you lead the league in batting for three years, you can be the biggest jerk in the world! “- Big Horse Borelli giving a speech during Stan Ross’ number retirement.

As I discussed two weeks ago with 61* baseball is a game where records mean everything. Not only to the fans, but also to the players themselves. This is another story of a man trying to obtain a record that is important to him.

Plot Synopsis

Stan Ross is top notch player on the cusp of hitting his 3000^th hit. He hits it. Once safe Stan walks into the crowd to retrieve his 3000^th hit ball. He takes it from a child and we see that Stan Ross is an ass. During his interview after the game, Stan informs everyone that since he has gotten his 3000^th hit he will be retiring. Not at the end of the season, but right then and there, even though his team is in the middle of the pennant race. He then verbally abuses the reporters some more and we figure out exactly what kind of athlete Stan Ross is.

Jump ahead nine years. We are treated Stan Ross doing a commercial for his sports bar. We get to see that Stan is doing well without the game and doesn’t need it anymore. But he is still upset that he has been denied entrance into the baseball hall of fame.

Although he was an ass and basically shit on everyone when he played, the fans still love Stan Ross. This is evident when the Brewers retire his number and a record crowd is brought in. It is shortly after this event that someone notices an error while doing some fact checking. Someone had made a mistake and recorded three of Stan Ross’ hits twice during a game that was split up due to rain. So Stan only has 2997 hits.

Stan then decides that he has to get back into the game in order to get his 3000 hits back. Something that means more to him than anything else. The Brewers owner, noticing that the biggest crowd they drew all season was for Stan’s number retirement, agrees to bring him back. That’s when we are treated to a montage of Stan working out to get back into shape. It starts with him trying to get accommodated to new conditioning techniques, and each clip shows him getting a little better each time.

Once he is physically ready he is brought back with about a month left in the season. Introduced during a press conference where a young female reporter asks him a question about his intentions. He replies with, “I always do what I say I’m going to do.” She says, “Since when?” and we realize these two have had a past. But more on this later.

Stan enters the locker room and he realizes that a lot has changed. He meets two players who are in constant competition with each other over every thing possible. He then gets to his locker where there is a walker waiting for him. Everyone on the team is aware of what kind of teammate he was and they are none to thrilled to have them on their team. Especially the new hot young superstar, Rex “T-Rex” Pennebaker, who we easily see as a new version of Stan.

Stan doesn’t get a hit in his first nine games and the Brewers are still doing awful. Nobody seems to be doing anything except Pennebaker who is hitting homers like Giambi in his juicing days. Stan is noticing key fundamentals that seem to be missing and is trying to get the team to work on those, but no one will listen to him. The manager even sits quietly on the bench. This is the same manager who managed when Stan quit on the team. How he has been able to stay with the team for nine years despite losing so much I don’t know.

Stan finally gets a hit and is now at 2998 hits. The team is ahead, but the pitcher is struggling. Stan talks to him at the mound and the pitcher tells him he needs to come out, but their manager, who apparently doesn’t give a shit, is not giving a shit and is keeping him in. Stan tells him to pitch the next guy low and outside and the fielders will get him out of it. They don’t. Stan walks the ball to the mound to tell the pitcher not to worry about, and then returns to first base. Oh and it looks like he just did the hidden ball trick. Game over.

In the locker room Pennebaker is being interviewed and his ego takes over. Talking about how he doesn’t need his team and he’s the only one playing out there yadda yadda yadda. Stan then steals the media and asks when the last time they saw a 47 year old man do the hidden ball trick. After wards Stan approached Pennebaker in the garage and asks if he knew why Stan stole the media from him. Pennebaker says that yeah he’s the same old Stan who can’t stand to be out of the spotlight. Stan tells him it is because he is trying save Pennebaker from going the same path Stan went down, because in the end that will leave you alone and sad.

The next day Pennebaker is more team oriented and the team starts having fun in the dugout. Then Stan hits a homer, hit number 2999, and the team starts getting serious about the rest of their season. With only 11 games left they are going to do everything they can to get into the post season. At one point Stan apologies to his former manager for quitting on the team. No reaction from the manager.

The team owner wants to bench Stan for the road trip so that he will hit number 3000 at home. Again showing the owners savy for business. Stan doesn’t like it, but he agrees. During this time he does interviews with the media and completely changes everyone’s perception of him.

Stan calls for an extra practice, only to find out that he is wanted on the Tonight Show which tapes during the practice he just called for. And we start to see Stan fall into his old ways. He then goes into a drought, but the team is still surging.

It comes down to the last game of the season, Stan’s last chance to get hit 3000, and the team’s last chance to make the post season. Stan is moved to fourth in the batting order to give him an extra shot at getting the hit. He flies out, strikes out, then ground outs in what is a close play at first that actually gets the manager out to argue with the ump. Stan comes up for his last at bat. Pennebaker is at second. I don’t want to spoil it for you and tell you what Stan did. But I will say that he did get the girl and found the love of the game he once had as a youth in south side Chicago.

Treatment of Baseball/Quality of Baseball Scenes

The treatment of the game is really good. It is another one of the movies that deals with what the locker room and dugout is really like. The announcers get a lot of dialogue that sounds very authentic. Stan starts his career when the Brewers are in the AL and there is mention that now they are in the NL and old balls Stan will have to be able to play first, a nice little jab at the DH rule.

Bernie Mac practiced with the Chicago Cubs to make himself look like a real ball player. He does swing the bat and run like he is an old ball player who trained with the Cubs, bawzinga! He does look like an old ball player who has lost a step or two, and his baseball doesn’t look as good as anyone from Major League but it doesn’t look bad.

As for the baseball scenes themselves, we don’t get to see much. We get a lot of the pitchers and their delivery, which look fine. But the rest is mostly upper torso shots of Stan and Pennebaker swinging away. There is one nice shot the shortstop fielding a ground ball and throwing to first from his knees. That looked genuine. As well as Stan making a face first slide to beat the throw to first. He made it look as awful as the pros do. And seriously, the hidden ball trick? In the damned majors? Get the fuck out of here!

Annoying Romantic B-Story/ Stifling Spouse?

Remember that female reporter I mentioned earlier? Yeah she and Stan had a little something something back in his hey day. It was mainly just a hit it and split thing, but then she got a job with espn and left for good. Now that he is back in the majors she has been assigned to cover the story.

They start to rekindle things, then Stan says something to piss her off and she walks away. They make up and things start to pick up again, then she says something to piss Stan off. Then they make up yet again as Stan let’s her know that he always felt it was more than just sex with her. They finally hook up again only to have her leave right away leaving Stan confused.

Stan grants her an exclusive interview at the practice he called then didn’t show up to. He gives her the interview later that night and she sees he hasn’t changed and she walks out on him, yet again. Then he does what he does in the final game and she is won over one last time.

The scenes these two have where he is not being interviewed for espn are really dull and slow the movie down. The whole will they won’t they Ross and Rachel thing is really annoying and has no business in a baseball movie.

Final Thoughts

The movie had some pretty funny moments and Stan is your basic changed character which you can see coming like a fastball from a pitcher who only throws sliders and fastballs and you just got three outside sliders in a row.

For a baseball movie about 3000 hits, there wasn’t that much actual baseball going on. A lot more talk about baseball, which is ok. I did enjoy all the minor things about the game they talk about: The sports writers keeping Stan out of the HOF, the owner’s decisions made to draw in crowds, the day to day dugout jibba jabber.

Though I enjoyed it for the 104 minutes is was on, I probably wouldn’t watch it again. Because mainly with this movie I liked looking at the suits Bernie Mac rocked. It made me wish I was black so I could get away with some of the color and design choices.

Ruling from Scorer: Runners stranded on second and third after a ground rule double.

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com