Cru Jones Society

In midwest Colorado we were born and raised. On the internet is where spend most of our days. Chillin’ out, maxin’ relaxin’ or coolin’.  Shootin’s some links out to our readers. Went to one bad site and our moms got scared, said you’re reading CJS, even in Bel Air. Typed in the browser and when it got there I could see this site was rare. Will Smith on the cover, and Bill Allen was near. I thought nah forget it, yo homes the links if you dare. I pulled up to the link, about 7 or 8, yelled to the cabbie, you homes smell ya later. Looked at the video, no time to haste, this day I was about to waste. Continue Reading »

Halloween is in two days, CJS Regulars, and if you don’t have your costume figured out by now… well, you’re pretty much screwed. You can head on down to the costume store that’s open 2 months a year, but you’re bound to find a ravaged store with only a few aerosol cans of green hair dye, a plastic reaping scythe, and a plus-sized Caribou Barbie costume from last year that’s already been torn open. Should’ve planned in advance! 

As we did last year, we’re here to take you through this year’s selection of dumbest costumes and instead of handing out individual awards to them, we’re counting down the worst, weirdest, and weeniest out there. We’ve got 21 dorkalicious getups to get through here (10 male, 10 female, 1 couples costume – all found at Halloweencostumes.com), so let’s not delay any further. Let the countdown commence! Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball. Because this is the last one.

The Fall Classic gets underway tonight as the Yankees square off against the Phillies in a match-up we certainly didn’t want to see, but in a contest that finally pits the two best teams in Major League Baseball against each other. Each team is an absolute juggernaut and from a pure baseball standpoint, this World Series should be enormously entertaining.

And speaking of entertaining, your faithful CJS authors have spent the last four months combing through baseball movies and examined them thoroughly. While we didn’t hit every movie we wanted to cover, we did bang out 18 of them. That’s a ton of baseball movies to watch and in the spirit of our favorite game, we’re here to hand out some end of the season awards. Continue Reading »

Halloween season is upon us and seeing all the costumes got me thinking about people who were costumes all year around, no not actors, or police officers, or athletes; I’m talking about super heroes. It has been a while since I nerded the place up and I figure it was time to do it. What I have here are four things that have always bothered me about the Marvel Comics Universe. Now it’s clobberin’ time so let’s get to it. Continue Reading »

The Monday Confessional is where we convene at the beginning of each week to share our experiences, unburden our souls, and give the CJS Regulars a turn in getting their voices heard by the world. This week’s prompt allowed us to share that special part of ourselves that cries due to the goings on of characters that are almost always fictional. We asked you: What movie makes (or made) you cry? Many of our readers didn’t fear the emotion and let us have it. CJS Staff lets the waterworks go first, and the regulars shed their tears after. Then we’ll give you next week’s decidedly less sob-worthy question. Grab a box of tissues, and let’s dig in. Continue Reading »

We originally planned not to make a big deal out of Edition #69. We like to think we’re above that level of immaturity and dare not plunge to those depths of juvenility preferring instead to enlighten and enliven your minds with… ohh, who am I kidding here?

69, dudes! Whooooo! Wine me, dine me, sixty-nine me! Deck the halls, pound the walls, spank my ass, and lick my balls! E Dagger’s back, baby!

I’m tanned, recharged, feelin’ great, and most importantly – married! But that doesn’t mean I have to grow up. Inside today’s edition is a collection of links specifically designed to make your inner Beavis happy. Beer! Sex advice! Strip hockey! Hair metal! We got it goin’ on, so click it, lick it, and stick it. It’s 69 today, baby! Continue Reading »

How many rude boys does it take to screw in a light bulb? One to drop it and three to pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. If that joke makes any sense to you at all, then you like myself, are a fan of ska music. Don’t get me wrong, punk rock is my first and true love. But sometimes I sneak around on her with a mistress known as ska. Now I love punk and she will always be the one I go to, but sometimes she doesn’t want to have the fun ska does. Sometimes she is angry and depressing and I just seek the upbeat and smile of my mistress. This is why I love ska, please, if you see punk rock, don’t tell her about it.

Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: September 2, 1988
Box Office Total: $5,680,515
Team Featured: 1919 Chicago Black Sox 

“You get out there, and the stands are full and everybody’s cheerin’. It’s like everybody in the world come to see you. And inside of that there’s the players, they’re yakkin’ it up. The pitcher throws and you look for that pill… suddenly there’s nothing else in the ballpark but you and it. Sometimes, when you feel right, there’s a groove there, and the bat just eases into it and meets that ball. When the bat meets that ball and you feel that ball just give, you know it’s going to go a long way. Damn, if you don’t feel like you’re going to live forever.” – Buck Weaver

To most of us baseball is a game that we use to fill several hours on a warm summer afternoon. To Buck Weaver it was more than a game, it was his whole world. To seven of Weaver’s teammates, baseball was a paycheck, a paycheck they felt needed to and could be increased. This is the story of those eight men. Continue Reading »

Hi everyone. Yes, I’m back and I’m now hitched. Lady E and I had a tremendous wedding, and an even better honeymoon. I’m sure stories from each of those events will come out over time, but for now, they’re just for us. But fear not, we have for you an in-depth mythological examanition of supernatural phenomena – a question that has plagued scholars and historians for decades – in its place. Enjoy! 

Dagger: Do you think vampires poop? Continue Reading »

Welcome to the Cru Jones Society fight night. Technically it’s not night when most of you read this, but fight morning and fight afternoon don’t sound as good. We wanted to know who you would take on if you could fight anyone living, dead, or fictional. We have six fights scheduled for the card, and since we don’t have any video packages to waste time let’s get Bruce Buffer out here to start the thing. What? Our not for profit site can’t afford Mr. Buffer? Can we, “say let’s get ready to rumble,” without being sued? No? Fine, then just touch gloves and come out fighting. Continue Reading »

Welcome to another Happy Friday. Dagger’s off enjoying the sun, sea, and his new wife and left Hart in complete control of the helm. This means there are fewer links than normal, but all the fun is still here. This week we’ve got hockey, Mongolians, and Hall and Oats, you read that right, we got both Hall and Oats. But before we get to all of that, what do you guys really think of Dagger? Continue Reading »

Greetings everyone, CJS co-founder and former regular contributor Limon here, substituting for Dagger, who is on a beach somewhere enjoying some well deserved time with his new bride, Lady E and away from the fray of work, cold weather, and CJS. I’ll be filling in here and there for the next week or so along with Hart to help keep CJS trucking along in Dagger’s absence.

Like many of Dagger and Lady E’s family and friends, I made the trek from afar to be a part of their wedding. Like Hart, I had issues with my tux thanks to Men’s Wearhouse. They somehow managed to send my tux to the wrong branch located on the opposite side of Tucson from the one I had arrived at promptly at 10:00 A.M. Which, unfortunately was about two hours before I was scheduled to be on an airplane. Fortunately I managed to navigate construction and agonizingly congested midday traffic, squeezed on the plane with seconds to spare and avoided missing the rehearsal and following festivities by an uncomfortably close margin. I won’t get into excruciating detail, but the goatee wearing douche at the first Men’s Wearhouse, was completely unapologetic and didn’t bother to offer any solutions to the problem they created. Nor did he make any attempts to speed the process along. I had a thing or two to say to him, but I had to drive from one end of a million people strong city to the other, try on a tux and catch a plane in less than two hours, so I could do nothing but grab my receipt and run out the door knowing this one would be a photo finish. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: July 15, 1994
Box Office Total: $50,236,831
Team Featured: California Angels

“You can’t go through life thinking everyone you meet will one day let you down.” – Angels’ Manager George Knox

Everyone in Angels in the Outfield has been let down by someone or something. Whether it’s management, parents, fellow players, or our government’s weirdo rules pertaining to child welfare, every character has experienced disappointment on a grand scale. Sometimes all that remains is faith, and while we hope that someone’s out there looking over us, very few of us ever get to see their presence first hand. Continue Reading »

Dear Men’s Wearhouse,

I have been dressing in business casual clothing for nearly a decade now and despite having a couple of friends who once worked at a Men’s Wearhouse, I never visited your establishment until I was made best man for a wedding. The grunt work was done and all I had to do was go in to be fitted and eventually pick up my rental. That is when things got ugly. Continue Reading »

There really is nothing like a fun pickup game on a sunny afternoon. Just you and your friends playing a game for farts and smiles. But what if you got to play that game as a living? To us that sounds like a great life. But sadly we can only pretend. That is why this week we gave you a hypothetical life to live. We wanted to know if you could redo your life and become a professional athlete what sport would you play and which position would you play? First up on this fantasy draft are yours truly, then we turn it over to some of our faithful readers. Continue Reading »

“I have to write Happy Friday this week.”

“Ha! Good luck!” – an actual exchange I had with Lady E last weekend

Did she somehow know that I’d get inexplicably busy at work while dealing with all the last minute nonsense associated with this wedding? Did she have the clairvoyance to say that with the knowledge that every time I’d sit down to write this damn thing, either my mom would drop by with my grandmother, a co-worker would barge into my office with an inane request, or I’d find out it would cost 500 goddamn dollars to fix our washing machine that improbably broke this week on top of everything else? Did she peer into her crystal ball and notice that I had exactly zero time to slack off at work this week and find funny links? Or am I just retarded in thinking I could pull this off without giving myself an ulcer?

Whatever the case, this is the last time you’ll see me around here for another 10 days, and just because I don’t have time to see what new dimwits Keyboard Cat’s playing off these days, doesn’t mean that you don’t either. That’s my pre-nuptial agreement with the CJS Regulars, and I won’t let you down. Here are your Friday links. Continue Reading »

It’s no secret that booze plays a role in my life. Like a good friend it is always there to bring happiness and tastiness. As I may have mentioned before, or maybe I haven’t I can’t remember everything I say, I drink remember, but my two favorite libations are beer and whiskey. I would like to take the opportunity today to talk about my love of the whiskey. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: April 7, 2006
Box Office Total: $59,843,754
Team Featured: The Benchwarmers 

“That’s horrible, baseball’s America‘s past time…that’s like saying you’ve never had apple pie. You’ve never had apple pie?” - Gus

Jackie Robinson opened up the game of baseball for everyone. Unfortunately some people cannot move beyond the cliques of high school and still do their best to not let others play. Luckily there are people willing to stand up for the losers, misfits, and runts. Continue Reading »

As the Dagger wedding approaches (This Saturday!) and Lady E and I bid adieu to our single lives, I find myself thinking about the beginning. I think about how we initially despised each other the first day of graduate school, but after a couple of rounds of beers we grew not only to not hate each other (Frat boy! Feminist!), but eventually fell in love.

We both carried baggage from our previous relationships, as everyone does, and backed into our eventual courtship like two Roman soldiers holding a massive shield with our spears drawn only to not realize our backs were vulnerable to an attack from behind. As we bumped into each other, we quickly spun around with daggers drawn (pardon the pun) and were forced to start fresh with each other. Our détente took a significant amount of time to achieve, but once we got there, we quickly realized there was no one else in the world for us.

But one thing we didn’t have to overcome was the persistent and annoying presence of ex-lovers lurking about under the guise of “friendship,” which brings us to today’s subject. Continue Reading »

It’s October, officially the greatest month for sports. Baseball is in the post season, football is in full swing, hockey is underway, and basketball is just around the corner. We here at CJS are sports fans, as you may have picked up on, so we have decided to dedicate the next few confessions to sports. The first pitch of our sports confessions was to tell us what the greatest sporting event you ever watched was. We got a good load of responses so let’s get to it so that you’ll still have time to watch Favre cry tonight. Continue Reading »