Cru Jones Society

I once had a girlfriend who over used the phrase, “That’s was random.” Usually whatever I was talking about wasn’t that random. Most of the time I stay pretty grounded with my verbal communications. My mind may wander and not be in synch with itself, but I usually keep those in my head. But every now and then I jot those down and we get the collection you find here before you. So if by some chance this ex-girlfriend actually reads the site she can go ahead use her favorite phrase and not sound like a complete idiot. The rest of you can just enjoy these thoughts.

* I am amazed by stairs. Not so much going up them, but coming down. I feel like I’m cheating gravity. It’s like some kind of controlled fall. Once you hit a certain age you’ll hit the stairs without even thinking twice, but in essence it is the only time I’ll willingly step off a ledge.  So take that gravity, you’re not as controlling as you think you are.

*The day after I thought of that stair thing and realized I’m no longer completely a bitch to gravity, gravity put me in my place. I slipped on the ice not once but twice and fell on my ass and face. Ok, gravity, I get it. You are still more in charge than I will ever be. I think you could have made your point without hurting my wrist and giving me a sore neck.

*You’re probably wondering why I didn’t have a post about Sesame Street last week with it being its 40^th anniversary and me being a huge fan of Muppets. I just didn’t have an idea about what to say about it. But I’ll give you this. As far back as I can remember I have never liked Telly monster. He was always so nervous and high strung. Even as a child I was bothered by this. He always brought about anxiety in me. I didn’t know what I was feeling when I was young, but I knew it was different and I didn’t like. I dreaded those moments when he came on screen. I guess in a way he was a monster I was afraid of seeing.

*There is no way this would be possible now days unless you had your own jet, or knew someone who did, but I think a plane ride to Vegas would be an awesome venue in which to do Century Club. Just think about, you got like two hours to kill and you’re heading to Drinktown USA. Actually this would be awesome with a private jet. Just you and some buddies on the way to sin city with 100 shots of beer. Where do I sign up?

*I was taking care of some mail at work the other day when I came across an envelope and in the stamp corner there were the words, “Place stamp here.” I couldn’t help but wonder if this was completely necessary. The stamp has gone in the same corner since like forever. I can understand the ones letting you know if it needs a stamp or not, maybe it’s prepaid, I don’t know, but to tell me where to put the stamp, why? Then I thought maybe if you were a kid and this was your first mailing, there is a real chance a kid would put that stamp anywhere or just plaster the envelope with them. I recall this time when I was a kid writing a letter to my grandma and didn’t realize there was a set number of prongs on an “E.” I just assumed people chose three for simplicity. Not my style. I went to town on the “E,” probably gave it a good dozen prongs. Kids do some of the wackiest things, so I could see that being the reason, except this was something that was clearly meant for adults. How many times do kids receive something that has a return envelope? I guess what I’m asking for is that we eliminate stupid instructions.

*Sometimes when I am sleep deprived I begin to see items in their most basic geometrical design. I feel like I’m walking through the movie Tron sans the stupid looking costume, nor do I get to participate in that fun looking death race. I suppose it could be worse, I could have one of those geometric tanks after me, or I could feel like I’m walking through the movie Ernest Goes To Jail.

*I recently started watching the series “Weeds” and I got me thinking I could become a pot dealer and make a good chunk of change. But then it quickly dawned on me that I am way to nerdy to even know how to begin to go about such a business venture. It’s kind of like Peter, Michael, and Samir trying to figure out how to launder money and looking it up in the dictionary. That’s probably for the best though.

*When I’m watching hockey and they go to a four on four I often think I like that better than the five on five. I don’t know if I actually do like it better or I think I do because it is something I don’t see often. I’m pretty sure the five on five is better and the four on four is like when you realize you can have candy for breakfast, exciting at first but once the novelty wares off all you’re left with rotting teeth and diabeetus. In the end it is better to stick with the classics that you’re used to.

*I really enjoy the new Black Eyed Peas’ song, “I Gotta Feeling.” There is something about it that makes me feel comfortable. I can’t fully explain it, but when I first heard it I immediately had this calm and safe feeling rush over me. It has been awhile since I really enjoyed a rap song in this way. However, I am not a fan of the name. I have always been under the impression “gotta” was a sort of short hand for “got to.” Like I got to go or you got to try this sandwich. In that sense the song title doesn’t make any sense. If they are going for I got a feeling then I don’t see the point. They added a letter, who does that? Goofy title aside, the song still makes me feel good.

*I’m glad I didn’t know what I know now when I was younger (as I typed that, that song started playing on the TV, it was weird). Sure I may have been spared some pain, but I would have missed out on the joy that comes from learning something new and experiencing something with results I was not expecting. Then there’s the little things that I know now, like surprise twist endings to movies.

*After looking at pictures from Dagger and Lady E’s wedding I think I want to wear tuxedos more often. Let’s face, I’m a good looking guy, and in the tux I am a great looking guy.

See ya on the observation deck…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com