Oh to be an Asian chef. Look how happy they are 

I have a pot luck at work and I thought instead of bringing the same old boring crap I got the last minute at the store I thought I would attempt to make something. Keeping with the not being boring idea I thought I would try something I have never made before.  So I thought I would document this hopeful awesomeness with a semi-live blog as I attempt to not burn down my kitchen.

The opening made it sound like I have no cooking skills past making a bowl of cereal or a pot of Kraft dinner. I can make a few things. I have a pretty swell chicken enchilada recipe and I can make one mean meatloaf, it’ll make you burpy, Dagger can attest to that. But I have watched my mom make these a dozen or so times. But this time I making something I don’t think my mom has ever made. My recipe of choice is for whiskey hot wings. I like whiskey and I like hot wings so why wouldn’t I try this? The original recipe can be found here.

Thinking ahead I defrosted the wings and I am now preheating the oven at 400 degrees. But first things first, the ingredients for what has potential to be my new favorite meal.

The hopeful end results

1 jar (16oz.) of hot sauce
2 tablespoons horseradish
20 chicken wings
1/4 cup of (Crown Royal) whiskey
salt and pepper, to taste

Five minutes into this I already screwed up. I forgot the horseradish. There’s only 2 tablespoons, I’m going to go ahead and make it without the horseradish. Oh who am I kidding, I have already doomed this. Jesus, let’s move on.

Wash chicken wings and pat dry. Cut off and discard chicken wing tips, then cut each wing in half at the joint (doubling the number of servable hot wings).

Screw this cutting wings b.s. King Soopers sells the already cut little wings. I saved myself some work here, as well as lowered my risk of salmonella poisoning. This totally makes up for the horseradish thing, I hope. Now that I have eliminated a step I am that much closer to awesome wings which I won’t even get to eat until tomorrow.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees, then turn on the broiler. Line a pan with aluminum foil and arrange chicken wings on the pan. Broil chicken wings about 6-8 inches from heat for 15 minutes, turning several times to ensure even cooking.

Ok. Oven is preheated. Looks like I am running low on Crown Royal. So I will be substituting Crown with Stranahan’s Colorado Whiskey, I find this more fitting since the Denver Tweetup is taking place at a pub housed at the Stranahan distillery Thursday evening.

While the wings cook, combine hot sauce, horseradish and whiskey in a small saucepan, along with a bit of salt and pepper, to taste. Bring to a boil, then remove from heat. Brush both sides of the wings with sauce and then broil again from 10 to 15 minutes longer. Splash with more sauce and serve with blue cheese dip.

I added some onion powder and a pinch of pepper to the sauce. It is tasting good and has a very slight bite. I like it that way. I hate it when it is too hot and you can’t taste anything but hot. What the hell is the point of this? I want flavor not mouth burning hellacious sauce. Oh and I used Frank’s Red Hot. It has that classic Buffalo Wing flavor. Frank’s Red Hot, the perfect blend of flavor and heat. Alright, now where’s my mothaf*ckin’ Red Hot money?

mmmm, mmmm bitch!

I have turned the wings twice and they are cooking nicely. There is a well developed layer of greasy fat now lining the foil. Some times I don’t like cooking because I see things I can’t un-see and still have to try to find the meal appealing. I also managed to make the turns without, as a friend of mine once called it, a “fat kid injury.” Meaning I didn’t burn my hand on the oven racks, yet.

I don’t have a brush, so I poured the sauce into a bowl, during which a light mist of the sauce found its way into my eyes. And that sucked and stung like when I pee. But nothing a cold beer didn’t fix right away. I then tossed the wings in the bowl and coated them evenly and stuck them back in the oven. This is all going very, very well. A little too well. I almost expect Bond to burst in and foil things.

I wish I had picked up the stuff to attempt the blue cheese dip. But I don’t like blue cheese so I would be like a gay man judging a wet t-shirt contest, it’s all unappealing.

The last broil session. Then I’ll toss them in the sauce once more before confining them to the Crockpot and fridge over night, to marinate in the remaining sauce. Then a quick warm tomorrow and they’ll be ready to serve. I recommend trying this sometime. Just make sure you have a little more than an hour to kill cooking and don’t mind cleaning a kitchen. I have sauce everywhere. It is a bit ridiculous. Although I may not be all that careful as I cook, at least on the clean front.

But the last part is the all important taste test. And these are passing that test. I almost want to eat them now and just hit the store in the morning for some last minute boring crap. The suace is perfect and the meat falls off the bone. I done good. One last piece of advice, if you’re going to make a decent amount, don’t be a pottser like me and splurge on a second baking sheet. Oh the joys of bachelorhood.

If you decide to try your own wings, drop us an email and let us know how it went. Check the comments in the afternoon and I’ll let you know how well they went over at the pot-luck. Or you can ask me at the Denver Tweetup, because you are going right?

Bring it on! I am ready now!

Happy cooking!

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com

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