Food Sex or Cars? Badass Edition

Welcome to the 2nd Annual edition of Food Sex or Cars!

The rules here are simple. We present you with a scenario, and based on the three choices, you decide which one you’d like to eat, fuck, or drive. You make your choice in the comments section and we tally up the scores at the end of the week. If you’re not registered here at the Cru Jones Society, all you need to do is choose a user name, enter a valid email address (we won’t ever share your info, and your email stays private), and start playing. We’ll have two scenarios a day through Friday. Voting for all scenarios closes Monday, November 30 at 6:00 p.m. MST.

We’ll reveal the correct answers on Tuesday, December 1 along with the winners. Prizes will be awarded to the top 3 finishers. For a more detailed breakdown of the rules and the prizes, click here.

But time’s a-wastin’! Let’s get to our first scenario. Hold your cursor over each picture to get a full description of each choice, which is important to making a correct choice. Good luck to everyone! Let’s play Food Sex or Cars!

For those of you who can’t see the captions: (A 5-course meal prepared by your favorite Iron Chef America chef VS Megan Fox VS The Aston Martin DB5 from Goldfinger)

Hart & Dagger

23 Nov 2009 CJS Staff

Tron

Although the Iron Chefs are very talented, you just don’t know what the secret ingredient will be, and as a picky eater that just won’t work. Megan Fox does look awfully tempting in that photo and she could probably get you a ride in Optimus Prime but I heard she wasn’t too bright and she’s pretty annoying. I choose the Aston Martin. It’s a sweet ride to begin with and it’s a bond car so it has all sorts of gadgetry, such as machine guns in the headlights, a smoke screen, a passenger side ejection seat, and a hub mounted tire shredder. I’d be crazy not to pick it.
http://flickerbock.blogspot.com Flickerbock

Nerd agreeing with nerd here: Aston Martin. The secret ingredient is always some crazy weird thing that should not be in a dessert (like pigeon) and I don’t want any flying squirrel in my ice cream. Megan Fox has a toe for a thumb: http://kottke.org/09/11/megan-foxs-toe-thumb That leaves the Aston Martin. If it is good enough for Connery, it is good enough for me.
keithage

DB5 duh. This is the James Bond car. You’d be able to get any woman you want including Pussy Galore plus if you are ridding in this bad boy you’d get meals comp’d for you as you would be a bad ass.
keithage

Oh yeah and Iron chef America does not = Iron Chef
Gutter

I agree with Nerd 1 and Nerd 2, Aston Martin wins this one. For similar reasons. I am no food critic and am usually happy with a Little Caesar’s pizza. And as amazing as Megan Fox looks in the picture I can’t get over the fact of how annoying she is playing the “I’m a bad ass girl” attitude. Plus she would probably want us to drink each other’s blood or some other kind of crazy shit like that afterwards anyway. To build on Flickerbock’s point if Sean Connery has driven this car than that by itself makes this car bad ass enough to win most contests.
Corriander

I don’t think you have to be a nerd to pick the Aston Martin. It seems pretty obvious that it’s better than too-fancy food with strange ingredients and uber-dumb and annoying Megan Fox. So I also choose the Aston Martin.
F-U-Natalie

The Iron Chef deal was nixed right away. My mom is a chef and unlike most women I’m not uber obsessed with Bobby Flay. Besides you can go to a nice restaurant and have great food. Megan Fox? Puhlease. Girl is too skinny and she would probably be clingy after. Definitely the Aston Martin. This is an extremely rare and unique car. Headed down the freeway with the wind in my hair and the vibration of this machine under my feet. Who needs food or Megan Fox? Obviously we’re starting off easy CJS.
http://teamsudar.blogspot.com Deuce

I am going to also choose the DB5. I feel that Tron’s reasoning best relays my sentiments and Flickerbock’s toe-thumb picture is defeinitely a turn off. I’m ready to lay down an oil slick and raise the defelctor shield.
twodogszk

I am not much of an Iron Chef fan and now that I just found out Megan Fox has a toe for a thumb, my choice is clear. The Aston Martin DB5!!
chaddymac

Even though everyone else picked it, I choose the Aston Martin all the way. I like my food too simple for the Iron Chefs, and after what twodogszk just said there was no contest.
CassieB

Winner=Aston Martin DB5. Sexy, stylish, pimped out and rare.

Now if it were Top Chef, the answer would be debatably different. Iron Chef is just a mediocre tv show. And speaking of mediocre, Megan Fox is also a mediocre actress. Hot, yes, but not hotter than an Aston Martin DB5.
http://horribledatingstories.blogspot.com jitterrawks

Thanks for starting off easy here. It’s quite obviously the car. The Iron Chefs make highly gourmet food, and while it would be bragging rights, I don’t have that kind of pallate. I can’t stand mushrooms, and it seems that any frou-frou meal requires at least 4 types of fungus. And Megan Fox is kinda hot in that photo, but the crazy overrides. I read an article in Rolling Stone that really tried to not heckle her openly, but when she routinely threatens to stab her boyfriend in the face when they fight (Granted, it’s Brian Austin Green, and his level of douche does inspire such violence)…no amount of hotness can override potential death and disfigurement. Besides, you can totally get hot and not crazy chicks in an Aston Martin.
http://flickerbock.blogspot.com Flickerbock

Could this end up unanimous?!!
keithage

You know, you have 2 of the three questions in the first picture. If Cru were holding a burrito that should be the final question.
R

Only 2 of the 5 iron chefs (Batali and Morimoto) are decent, well respected chefs, and I could just stop by one of their restaurants next time I’m in Vegas, New York, or Japan to get a 5-course meal.

Megan Fox is an anorexic dumbass.

The Astin Martin is a classic car that would be hard to come by. It’s the easy choice.
http://crujonessociety.com CJS Staff

Are you kidding?! Cru Jones is disqualified for participation in Food Sex or Cars because nothing stands a chance against him. No matter who he’s against, that’s Cru Jones every time, baby!
roxy

The Aston Martin, for the ejection seat alone. Sometimes your passenger just needs to not be your passenger anymore.
http://augieworld.blogspot.com/ augie.maestas

apparently I am going against the grain here, and for some of the guys I think it is because they are afraid of their wives. Megan Fox hands down. It said sleep with, not have a long intelligent conversation with. So her being a dumbass has nothing to do with this competition. Her being crazy, she might stalk me afterwords, but who would hate Megan Fox stalking you? Ok, don’t get me wrong, nothing makes a guy look like he is over compensating like the Astin Martin with ejection seat, however, you can eject Megan Fox out when you are done with her. By my thought on this = Megan Fox
salwon

Aston Martin. Though the Iron Chefs are a close second.

Wait, are they for food or sex?
http://flickerbock.blogspot.com Flickerbock

Augie, my choice has nothing to do with my wife. When it comes down to a hypothetical situation, I’m pretty sure I have the balls to say that I would pick sex with a certain female over food or a car. It just so happens that I don’t want to have sex with someone who is trying to stick a toe in my mouth via her hand.
Ferris

I’d pick dinner from the Iron Chefs if it were served to me in Iron Chef stadium and I could tell them why I like it or why they suck. Also if I was allowed to pick Megan Fox just so I could punch her in the neck I would.
http://www.mops.org brickfungus

Man this one was tough…
as much as i am a huge fan of bobby flay and mario it would be an amazing meal no doubt.
megan fox is hot no doubt, and i have no reason NOT to pick her, but
the Aston Martin is just too cool, and would have a better return value
http://www.skipngo.wordpress.com kristatothemax

It is absolutely the car. Let’s break it down:

Food: Iron Chef America is not as good as the original (agreed, Keithage!) I like a good cooking challenge like anyone else, but when it comes to a celebrity preparing a meal for me, I’ll stick to Gordon Ramsay (because he wouldn’t f*ck up the risotto, you FAT COW!)
Sex: That chick is hot or whatever, but I bet she’s one of those girls who would text her friends about how bored she is while you’re doing all the work in the sack.

So, by the process of elimination, I do declare the Aston Martin the winner. Next, please.
http://www.abbsmcnabbs.com abbsmcnabbs

When you say “badass edition” do you mean “totally cliche and overplayed stuff edition”? In this scenario, the

Aston Martin

wins for SURE. I mean, seriously. Megan Fox? She’s no dog, but gawd, she’s flipping EVERYWHERE. So over her. As for Iron Chef, I am not impressed. I cook a delicious meal for 20 people every week, with all of them coming into my kitchen and stirring stuff and breathing down my neck and generally getting in my way. And I get it all done, from shopping to in yer belly, in under 4 hours. by myself. every week. The Iron Chef-ers are pussies, as far as I’m concerned. Now, that Aston Martin is Bond-tastic, and everything in the Venn diagram of Bond that isn’t overlapped by George Lazenby or Timothy Dalton rules, in my book.
dettorre

I’d definitely have to go with the Aston Martin too. You never know what ingredient would have to be incorporated into all of your meals with the iron chefs. Megan Fox is smoking hot, but she she’s not very bright. DB5 hands down
st80umseating

I feel a great sense of loss, for humanity in general, but for the readers of CJS particularly for failing to make the right choice here. I think we can all be in agreement that the Iron Chef America meal is out since we don’t know what the secret ingredient is and with my luck it would be steamed cabbage or something else entirely too despicable to think about. However, I can’t stand idly by and allow this travesty to take place. It is mind numbing to me that the majority of posters would opt for the DB5 from Goldfinger. Sure, I’ll give you points for the ejection seat but beyond that, you’re not even looking at the best Aston Martin from the Bond franchise. I’m sorry but I’ll pass. Furthermore, these two competitors (Iron Chef America and Aston Martin) didn’t stand a chance because Megan Fox is smoking hot. Apparently I failed to see the criterion where I had to entertain intelligent conversation with her (as per the “dumb” argument) or that I had to enjoy a full three-course meal with her (as per the “anorexic” argument). My job in this scenario is only to have sex with her. Which I would. All day long. First soft, then hard, then long, then fast. Finally, for being in Transformers 2, I’d make sure we brought the headboard into play. If these are my options, there’s no doubt in my mind I take Megan Fox. And for those of you who chose otherwise, you should be ashamed of yourselves.

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