Food Sex or Cars? Greek Edition

By now you should all have the hang of how this works. We’re now in Round 4, and it’s time to venture to the birth of modern civilization for our next theme. For those of you just joining us, here are the official rules again and remember to vote in each of our scenarios. All of them are listed on the linked page. For now, let’s get to the choices at hand. We’ll see you all in the comments section. Opa!

(A gyro prepared to your specifications VS Skinny Nia Vardalos VS Kawasaki Ninja motorcycle)

Dagger & Hart

24 Nov 2009 CJS Staff

http://teamsudar.blogspot.com Deuce

I’ll choose skinny Nia Vardalos. The ninja is tempting, but I’m more of a cruiser kind of guy. Plus I couldn’t afford all the tickets I would get on the ninja, and I wouldn’t enjoy the whole death thing that would probably happen to me.
http://horribledatingstories.blogspot.com jitterrawks

Well, by process of elimination, I have to go with the chick. I am not a big fan of lamb, which is usually the protein in a gyro. I’m also barely capable of walking in heels and driving a car-if I’m on a bike, I’m not living too long. Plus, I live in Boston-the weather here is not conducive to a motorcycle 9 months of the year. I guess Nia would be the best choice, and she seems to be okay making fun of herself, so we could get along.
http://flickerbock.blogspot.com Flickerbock

First of all, the Ninja is Japanese, not Greek. Not sure how you pulled that one into this collection. I am not a big fan of crotch rockets, so the Ninja is out. Plus it is Japanese and not Greek. Totally against the rules. The gyro is so deliciously tempting. I love gyros. I love lamb. I love them. However, I must go with Nia Vardalos. Mostly because I had no idea who she was so I had to look her up. Then I saw that she was the chick from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, and I had to do a double take. Bagging the star of that movie while she is not longer that size? Awesomeness.
Tron

I’m going to have to go with skinny Nia Vardalos as well. I did a little research to see who she even was, she looks a lot better than she did during “My Big Fat Greek Wedding”. So she gets my vote.
I can get a gyro just about any day of the week, and while I do love them they are not too special to me.
The ninja looks like it could be fun but I’d most likely kill myself on it or lay it down.
twodogszk

I would have gone with the gyro if you had listed Nia from her previous heftier days. But the skinner Nia is much better. I would definitely kill myself on the bike and that is no fun.
http://crujonessociety.com CJS Staff

Flickerbock: The Ninja is included in the Greek edition due to its popularity among frat guys (aka “Greeks”).
salwon

Sweet, sweet gyro. Although the crotch rocket is tempting. I had to use the Lamb Criterion on this one:

Gyro – lamb
Nia Vardalos – no lamb
Ninja – no lamb

So, clearly the gyro wins.
Ferris

While I have enjoyed a tasty gyro from the gryo cart in old town fort collins after the bars closed, its not usually a sober food selection as when sober I do not enjoy lamb. I do love Nia Vardalos because I loved My Big Fat Greek Wedding. I also love that her husband in real life is the actor who played Javier on Felicity.
Corriander

I’m also going to have to go with Nia. I’m not a fan of lamb either. A motorcycle might be nice so I could put my helmet to use besides just the occasional ride with Keithage, but I don’t want a frat boys bike.
Gutter

I really want to go with the Gyro because like Ferris I remember standing in line in 5 degree weather after the bars closed in Old Town just to get one. Come to think of it, I am not sure if I have ever had a Gyro while sober, so I can’t pick the Gyro based solely on the fact that I can’t trust my drunk judgment. The ninja would be okay, but I too think I would kill myself on it, or get beat in a drag race by a Vespa and I don’t think I could handle that kind of embarrassment. So I will take Nia Vardalos in this one. She’s cute enough and she has a pretty cool name.
Tron

For the record Gyros are awesome sober too.
keithage

I never bought a crotch rocket because I don’t want to look like a dutch bag. So its a coin toss between Nia and the gyro. Lamb and tzatziki sauce? or Nia and my sauce. I think both would hit the spot, however I’m going to go with the best invention since the sandwich, The gyro.
http://flickerbock.blogspot.com Flickerbock

Thank you for clarifying, CJS. Still sticking with my pick of Nia. Salwon, good thing they specified ‘Skinny Nia Vardalos’ because the old Nia Vardalos would have passed your test, pretty sure.
http://horribledatingstories.blogspot.com jitterrawks

Keithage…I think you have stumbled onto a great new phrase. I’m partly responsible for the oversaturation of the term “douche”. I particularly love your “dutch bag”. It implies a new level of uselessness. I recently visited the land of Amsterdam…and saw a massive Ed Hardy store…I think we’ve found something here…
F-U-Natalie

I looked at the first photo and thought “they go together like lamb and tuna fish”. Ha Ha. I however do not like lamb so the gyro is out. I think motorcycles are dangerous and have only been on one once. Crotch rockets are even worse than Harleys or Triumps (shout out to my boy Keithage) because you look exceptionally Dutch (to use the new phrase). I’m also accident prone and would surely hurt myself, someone else and this “bike” while attempting to ride it. Now on to Nia. I loved “My Big Fat Greek Wedding” which Nia wrote. I find her sense of humor hysterical and her skinny self is pretty hot. I think we’d have a great romp together so I choose Nia. Maybe afterward we could break some plates together. As an aside, my husband can vouche that I love to you “Opa!” whenever the opportunity arises. Thanks for the Greek edition CJS.
CassieB

Nia looks fantastic. You go girl! Nia wins.

Gyros are delicious, but not enough to win an all important CJS Food, Sex or Cars edition.

And I agree with Keithage. Crotch rockets are for Dutches.
chaddymac

I know too many dutch to pick the ninja, so its a toss up between Nia and the Gyro. I pick the Gyro just because all I can think of is the greek restaurant on King of the Hill called Hogan’s Gyros. Plus, lamb rocks!
roxy

Nia is awesome, so very tempting to pick her. Frat boys are my guilty pleasure so the bike is also pretty alluring. But dammit if I don’t love a good Gyro and like all good bitches I’m food motivated, so that’s my pick.
http://www.skipngo.wordpress.com kristatothemax

Ninja? No. Just no.

The gyro would be the nostalgic choice, as I, too, looooved to visit the gyro cart at 1:30AM in my college town after a long night of drinking. However, when I really think about it, I would be equally happy about Taco Bell or many other foods at that hour. Do I crave gyros as much these days, now that I’m older and not drunk as often? Not really. Huh. Strange.

Nia’s a babe! She’d be a much more memorable experience than a drunken gyro.

In conclusion, I vote skinny Nia. Next.
R

Wow. I’m a little disapponited in this one. None are really very appealing. Being half Egyptian, growing up in a Greek neighborhood as a Greek Orthodox, I’ve had my fill of gyros. If only everyone knew what that “meat” is made of. Again, no thanks.

I hate crotch-rockets, nor have I ever felt comfortable or safe riding one.

So, that leaves me with that girl from that Greek movie. Which was terrible. However, I guess I’ll take her.
dettorre

I’d have to go with the gyro. Tzatziki is amazing with lamb. I’d probably kill myself on a ninja, and wouldn’t Nia have a lot of stretchmarks after losing all that weight?
st80umseating

Man do I love me some gyros. Definitely one of the most delicious dishes out there. However, what SLC lacks in Mexican food, they more than make up for in Greek food. No joke–we’ve got at least a dozen Greek restaurants/shacks in SLC proper alone. And most of the gyros they make are among the best I’ve ever had. Since I can have amazing gyros any time I want, I’ll pass here, thanks.

I’d have probably taken tubby Nia Vardalos to be honest with you. Certainly she wouldn’t have beaten out a lot of the other competition but there was definitely some beauty there before. I almost feel bad for choosing her in this competition because of that. However, if I would have taken the bigger version, why not the hot skinny version?

As for the Ninja, I generally hope the people riding them end up colliding with a light pole or empty vehicle. Most of the people on crotch rockets are idiots waiting for the inevitable. Since I am neither of those things, the Ninja has negative appeal.

Nia Vardalos it is.

Cru Jones Society

Food Sex or Cars? Greek Edition

Sponsored Links

Recent Posts

Recent Comments

Tweets from the CJS

Links

CJS Network

Cru Jones Approved

Radical Miracles

Categories

Meta

Advertisement