Cru Jones Society

We waited until the last few hours of 2009 to post our year in review piece. And since you’re likely reading this on Friday (or later), that means 2010 has already arrived, so Happy New Year from the CJS!

Each Friday we’ve sought to bring you hours upon hours of time wasting goodness to glide you effortlessly into the weekend while putting off that lousy “work” yet another week while you watch awesome videos of Keyboard Cat and other such stuff on the last day of your sentence each week in the white collar gulag.

In going through the 47 Happy Fridays from the past year, we realized we’d offered you more than 700 links to all sorts of weird stuff from all over the interwebs. Today, we take a look back at some of the biggest stories throughout the year, a few more year-end retrospectives, our favorite sites, and some plain old random funny junk too. I personally re-read every Happy Friday from 2009, and I’ll tell you one thing: Hart’s doing this next year. Jesus Christ, that’s too many links.

Welcome to UberHappy Friday: 2009 Year in Review! Continue Reading »

Gambling is fun. Our love of Las Vegas is well documented. We’ve played the ponies in Del Mar. And since Lady E and I have been to a zillion weddings in the last five years, we gamble at those too. So why not gamble on dead celebrities? That’s why we want you to send us your 3 CJS Ghoul Pool selections this week to display next week in the Confessional. Just pick 3, and fire ‘em off to staff@crujonessociety.com. Whoever does the best wins a handsome prize at the end of 2010.

For now, let’s take a look back at who that cruel mistress known as 2009 took from us. Continue Reading »

Welcome back to the Monday Confessional where today we asked you the question: What are the things that you love and hate about the Christmas season? We’re guessing most of you were too busy last week either with your endless supply of merriment or your persistent staving off the desire to drink a quart of vodka and open a couple of veins in the bathtub to respond this week, but we forgive you. The holidays are crazy times for everyone, but despite the annual insanity, the Cru Jones Society must continue to forge ahead.

After this week’s responses, check out next week’s question because there will be a prize for whomever answers it best. We’ll also have a word about our schedule, and what to look for in the new year. But for now, let’s focus on the joys and miseries of the Christmas season. Continue Reading »

Jingle bells, Batman smells, Robin laid an egg. The Batmobile lost a wheel and the Joker got away. What, you thought just because it’s Jesus’ birthday I would stay classy? Not a chance! This is a day of fun and joy, so let’s all have fun and let’s all enjoy. The presents are unwrapped, the Christmas goose is cooking (does anybody actually cook and eat a goose on Christmas?), so why not take a break and spend some time with your friends at CJS? I got part two of The Bigass Christmas Post ready for consumption.  It’s kind of like that one last present you find hidden in the back, a fun surprise after a morning of joy. Now pull off the bow, and read on. Continue Reading »

It has been said the best way to spread Christmas cheer is singing loud for all to hear, but we don’t have audio here so we attempt to spread Christmas cheer with our annual Big Ass Christmas Post. If everyone else can do their best to exploit this holiday, then I ask you why can’t we? Ok that was rhetoric. I am well aware there are many reasons why we shouldn’t, but to hell with it, we’re going to anyway. Consider it our gift to you this season to help put you in a chipper holiday mood, or to remind you just exactly why you hate this time of year. That decision is entirely up to you.

Make sure your tree is lit and your stockings are hung. I plan on stuffing those bad boys with a bunch of Christmassy goodness. Now pour some eggnog, hot cocoa or just straight booze and let’s rip this present open like we’re seven years old! Continue Reading »

Chanukah has come and gone; Christmas is but a few days away and we all know the important part of these two holidays is the presents. You stay good all year in hopes of that one perfect gift, and when you do get that gift it makes the day, or 8, that much more special. To that end we asked the question: What was the best gift you ever received for Christmas, or Chanukah? We’ll take a look at the gifts left at the CJS houses first, and then off to the homes of some of readers to see what they got. Continue Reading »

Christmas is now officially a week away, buckos. So if you’re a poor-planning dimwit like I am and haven’t done your shopping or are a holiday malcontent who fears the snot-nosed hordes of zombie-fied Christmas shoppers (again, like I am) you better get with it. Christmas will not be stopped. And God knows I’ve tried.

So to prepare you for the big ol’ punchbowl of crazy you’ll encounter during the last week of Christmas, our links this week feature a regular Russell Stover assortment of goofballs. God help you if you get that one candy with the coconut though. Or the one with the pink ick in the middle? What is that pink stuff? It tastes like AIDS. That’s why today’s Happy Friday features a no-pink-glop guarantee. So check out the assortment, and hit the links. Continue Reading »

Our guest columnist has had a family emergency arise, and we’ll look for his post (hopefully) next week. We wish he and his family the best. In the meantime, since we’re ostensibly a comedy website, here are six relatively new TV comedies we have great hope and excitement for as the 21^st century marches into adolescence. Continue Reading »

I have definitely watched my fair share of television over the past ten years. And with that much programming you would think this list would have been harder, but it really wasn’t because it turns out a lot of what I watched were reruns of 90’s shows. I was able to move past those and give new shows a chance and this list consists of those shows. But first, a word from our sponsors. Continue Reading »

We wrap up our end of the decade feature here at CJS this week with television. We’ve got an excellent guest columnist lined up for Thursday, but as always, Hart and I will get you started.

As I approached this one, I thought it necessary to make two important statements before you digest my 5 Favorite TV Shows 0f the ‘00s. 1) My rampant immaturity and whole being-in-college from 2000-2006 means I didn’t have a lot of time for dramas. So you won’t see but one on this list. Besides, I generally don’t give a crap about procedural crime dramas and relate to the world better from a comedic standpoint anyway. So there’s that. 2) For the vast majority of this decade I didn’t have HBO, so if you’re wondering why none of those excellent shows appear here, there you go. With that out of the way, here are E Dagger’s 5 Favorite TV Shows 0f the ‘00s. Continue Reading »

When Kevin McAllister was left home alone, the rest of his family went to Paris, France. We always thought it was pretty sweet they were spending Christmas in a foreign country. That is why last week we wanted to hear about your travel adventures and we asked you: Where is the best place you have ever visited outside the United States? The bags are packed, and we’re ready to go. First we head east to the hot spots we love. Then jet set around the world to following your adventures. Grab your passport and boarding pass and let’s fly. Continue Reading »

Welcome to Friday, everyone. In this edition we take a trip all around the world as we journey from a tiny island in the South Pacific to the subculture of car racing to the trumped up world of wine snobs and end up in the bizarre world of Pee-Wee Herman hitting everywhere in between. We’ve even got an exploration-themed Confessional topic for you this week. So put on your pointy hat, get out your sextant, and let’s set sail. Ahoy to the weekend! Continue Reading »

The Cru Jones Society is proud to welcome our special guest for our Favorite Musical Acts 0f the ‘00s, and a good friend: Roxy. Roxy is a former station manager and primetime DJ at a prominent college radio station, and currently writes the excellent “Effortless Anthropologie” blog covering all the latest fashions from clothing store Anthropologie. We’re thrilled to have Roxy with us. Please give her a warm welcome to the Cru Jones Society!

When Dagger asked me to write this column, I was thrilled to an obnoxious degree. Music is such a huge part of my life even as artists and the industry conspire to kill my good vibes. Even though I live in New York, I attend a shamefully low number of concerts. Turns out what was fun at 17 (sneaking into clubs, waiting in line in short dresses while getting ogled, getting pushed around in the pits, dropping hundreds to see the cool bands) ain’t so fun at 27. Especially after you’ve been spoiled by working in radio. But thanks to the wonders of the internet and its magical tubes of wonder I am still listening to music pretty much 24/7. God bless the internets. In writing this column I only considered bands that have been around for at least 10 years. Not fair to include younger bands in my opinion. Continue Reading »

This list was more difficult to put together than the movie one. Since most of the decade was spent drinking it would have been very easy to pick nothing but party music. There was also my tendency to only want to talk about the albums Rancid and the Bouncing Souls released since 2000, but they have been rocking my soul since the mid 90s. But I combed through all my music and found the 5 acts that really seemed important to the decade. So crank it to 11 and let’s rock again. Continue Reading »

Our Best of the Decade feature rolls on. Thanks again to Rob Rector for offering his two cents on our movie series (Visit Natsukashi dammit!). This week we move to music as Hart, another very special guest, and yours truly discuss our five favorite music acts from the aughts. So strap on your headphones, settle in, and let’s talk some tunes. Continue Reading »

Monday Night Football is on tonight and the Green Bay Packers take on the Baltimore Ravens. Two teams that have names that are not completely dumb. Dealing with local history and daunting, soul eating birds. Unfortunately these are part of a small selection of non-asinine names used by teams or bands. There are a lot so we asked you: What are the best and worst team and band names out there? You responded in full force. So as usual the CJS staff is first and then we follow it up with your responses. Continue Reading »

The Cru Jones Society is proud to welcome our special guest columnist for our Favorite Films 0f the ‘00s, and a good friend: Rob Rector. Rob is the host of Natsukashi and has been a published film critic for 15 years. He currently writes movie reviews for the Cape Gazette and teaches film at Delaware Technical and Community College. We’re thrilled for Rob to join us. Please give Rob a warm welcome to the Cru Jones Society!

I know this is the part where I should be thankful to the folk at CJS for picking the opportunity, but no. This has been an incredibly hellish assignment.  C’mon guys, even Time Out New York crammed in 50 of them. There were films that, while perhaps not my favorite, are ones that I consider important. There is an entire host of documentaries that could have populated the list, as well as foreign and indie pics that deserve a list of their own. There was also a few Sophie’s Choice-like moments where I had to leave a few behind.

That said, here’s the rundown of more mainstream fare that meant the most to me over the decade, in no particular order. These are the ones I return to frequently for cinematic comfort food. And thanks to CJS for letting me delve into the corners of the cranium and sift through the detritus for the sake of film. Continue Reading »

As you read yesterday we are talking about the movies from the last decade we love. This became kind of a hard list to make since I watched a lot of the same movies again and again in a drunken or hungover state. I think over the last decade I watched Swingers and MST3K: The Movie more than any movie released from this decade. That’s just what we did.

Eventually I was able to make a list. But because it consisted of nothing but Will Farrell and comic book movies I had to throw it out and try again. I racked my brain and search many data bases and was finally able to make the list you’ll find below. Now let’s light the lights and get things started. Continue Reading »

As if you couldn’t tell from the incessant “Merry Gapmas” commercials and the increasingly powerful green and red merriment hurricane coming at you, December is here. And this December is special because we arrive at the end of the aughts.

That’s right, it’s the end of the decade, and that means weary columnists everywhere thank the gods of worn out article ideas for the gift bestowed upon them: Best of the Decade Lists. (And for those of you who quibble that a decade actually runs from 01-10 because there was no year “zero,” shut up. It’s our website and writing the year changes from 200_ to 201_. So there.) In that spirit, your faithful Cru Jones Society authors are compiling their own Best Of… lists.

However, since we’re in no position of critical authority to judge best of anything, and considering we spent most of the first half of this decade totally plastered, we’re modifying the theme slightly. We’re choosing five of our favorites over the next three weeks in three categories. Next week is music. The week after is television. This week we start with movies. And since there are only two of us, with three days of feature articles to fill, we’re turning over the reins each week to three special guest columnists. Who are they? You’ll just have to wait and see.

So, let’s get started. Here are E Dagger’s 5 Favorite Films of the 00s. Continue Reading »

It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Inside this article is the definitive list of correct choices for all three of the basic human desires – foodin’, sexin’, and car-in’. It’s time to find out who is the 2009 Food, Sex, or Cars Master! Should you have any problems with these answers, take it up with us in the comments section, but we’ve run these answers through a world-class thinktank of psychologists, physicists, cryptiosimitists, and other really smart people. Our word is the last word.

Without further ado, here are the 2009 Food Sex or Cars results! Continue Reading »