Cru Jones Society

 

Ah the first Friday of the New Year, a time of renewal and freshness. Wait, wasn’t New Year’s Day on a Friday? Dammit! Ok, from the top, Ah the first Happy Friday of the New Year and for you some brand new links. But don’t worry, we have the same old dick and fart jokes that you have come to enjoy. And to help us with these jokes we have guidos, goats, and goofy fat kids. So put your resolutions aside and enjoy some good old fashioned fun.

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Let’s start this off with the story that has rocked the internet and the music industry so hard it could only be about Andrew W.K. There has been a lot said this week about whether The Andrew W.K. from “I Get Wet” is the real Andrew W.K. or if he was an actor hired to play the role. There are a lot of people skirting their answers to who the real Andrew W.K. is. As fans of the W.K. we found this story incredibly bizarre, very compelling, and absolutely mind blowing. But in the end we can’t help to agree with Deadspin.com when they said, “A reader sent in this item about Andrew WK in which AWK confirms he was an actor hired to play the role of “Andrew WK”, and that the persona of Andrew WK was created by a collective of record producers and corporate interests (and Coors Light, I would imagine). I guess this is scandalous, except that I don’t really care. Plenty of bands out there weren’t spontaneous creations, including the Sex Pistols. “I Get Wet” was still a kickass album (rumors that Dave Grohl wrote the whole thing persist, and I totally buy it, since his AWK’s subsequent albums are horrid). Also, I saw AWK in concert during the “I Get Wet” tour and it was a blast. If he was the Milli Vanilli of the 00′s, so be it. I’ll take it over the actual Milli Vanilli.” Or as paraphrased from the official Andrew W.K. website, this is party music, who cares how it’s made or who makes it, just party, and party hard!

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Keeping on music news we have this much shorter and much more positive piece. Travis Barker (of Blink-182 fame) has hinted that there is new music from The Transplants in the works. Much like the W.K. this is fun party music and we are looking forward to more block rocking beats from these cats (block rocking beats? This cough syrup must be getting to me).

Now before we turn the dial off of radio KCJS, we have one last bit of music related business to take care of. That’s right, ladies and gentlemen; we are talking about this week’s Confessional. As you make that new playlist for the gym, your next birthday, or the sweet ass Groundhog’s Day party you got lined we know you struggle with which songs make the cut. And if you’re anything like us you often hear the same song on many of your playlist. With that in mind we want to know: Which song always seems to find its way on to the new mix you’re making? That one song (or songs) that you love and seems to fit all occasions of your life that require a musical playlist. Send your response to staff@crujonessociety.com and look for them on Monday.

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Now turn the radio off and turn the television on. And since the TV is on that can only mean one thing: Jersey Shore is playing. This is the hottest show on at the moment, if you’re a teen or young adult. I have tried on several occasions to watch this train wreck but I cannot last more than ten minutes, and that’s when the remote is out of reach. But thanks to field guides like this I can act like I know what’s going on and seem cool when I pick up my little sister after school. They key to a successful life lies in the ability to impress high schoolers.

I will admit I assumed this show was stereotypical Jersey douche bags living The Real World, so little did I expect this show would be hailed as a large stride for feminism. These acts of feminism are lead by broads who go by the names Snookie and JWOWW. But I say bully for them for taking the idea of what an Italian girl should be and smashing it in the face.

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Speaking of taking a stand for women, here are allegedly the hottest non-nude photos of chicks from the past year. Not going to lie here, the main thing on my mind was why Jennifer Love Hewitt was playing tennis in a bikini and those shoes? Does not seem practical in the least. I mean the main thing on my mind were the bodacious racks of these women, monster trucks and other manly things. Yes, nice save.

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Oh right I left that TV on. What’s coming up? Looks as though there is a new sitcom coming soon starring Adam Carolla, or at least there’s one in the works. If you’re thinking this is old news, Carolla’s been working on a pilot for awhile now. I would say yes, he has been for CBS, we’ve all heard about it on his podcast. Well that one was never picked up. So he and his frequent collaborator Kevin Hench, the man responsible for the funny movie The Hammer, are trying a new show for NBC. It has been too long since Carolla graced our sets and we are ready for his return.

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One last television related link. Mentalfloss.com has never fallen short on supplying us with interesting insights into things we love and we were captivated with this piece on one of our favorite shows, “Cash Cab.” They talk to a few contestants and break down the selection process and a few other secrets about the show. It does destroy a little of the mystery, but it can also help you get on the show should you be in New York. Mostly I am glad they covered a concern I always had about the show, the way they kick people on to the street and into the night with a fat wad just ready to be jacked.

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We interrupt this Happy Friday to bring you a very important message about a very serious threat: goats. Those of you who have been assaulted by goats know what we’re talking about, as well as do you Cub fans. But to those who have never been assaulted by these horned beasts take warning. They can strike at any moment. Please look at this site to learn how to, as the Wu-Tang would say, protect ya neck. And if you have been assaulted and need someone who will listen and someone who can help you through the hardship that a goat attack can bring to one’s life then please look at the site. We want to thank Jitterrawks for bringing this important issue to us so that we may help those in need.

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Now it’s time for sports. So if that stuff doesn’t interest you then go ahead and scroll on down to the demotivator and thanks for reading this far.

Brock Lesnar is without a doubt one of the most exciting fighters in MMA, and for those that follow the sport then you know that he was sidelined a few months ago. For those who don’t follow, Brock Lesnar was sidelined with what was diagnosed as diverticulitis a few months ago, and since then his fighting future has been up in the air. He will find out this week how he is doing and if he will need major surgery which could keep him from fighting for two years or forever. As someone with an infection of the digestive tract I feel for Brock. I wouldn’t wish that on anyone and we wish all the best for Brock.

Our last story this week is one of joy. Major League Baseball made their Hall of Fame selection this week and while we’re sad “Big Cat” Andres Galarraga didn’t make the cut, we could not be happier for Andre Dawson. The long time Expo and Cub was a fan favorite, especially of Dagger. Dawson even spent some time on the triple A Denver Bears, so it’s nice to have somewhat local boy in Cooperstown. Congratulations Andre!

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And now some advice for the New Year: Be careful if you’re going real good.

See ya in the pit stop…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com