Chaddymac’s Top 5 WWE Entrance Themes
Please welcome CJS Regular Chaddymac to the Cru Jones Society. He won last year’s Food, Sex, or Cars competition, and this is his article. Tying into our WWE-themed week, here is Chaddymac’s Top 5 Entrance Themes of All-Time. Give him a big CJS welcome!
I’m going to be upfront with all of you right now. I’m an engineer, not a writer, so I apologize for the step by step process that is about to follow but that is how my brain works. When I set out to write this article, I had 2 entrance songs in mind that I had to include in my Top 5. That means I had to search my memory, since a top 5 wouldn’t be very good with only 2, and I haven’t watched wrestling in 6 years, which was coincidentally around the same time I got married (funny, huh?).
So I went back to freshman year of college, when every Monday and Thursday Dagger would come over to Limon’s and my dorm room where we would watch RAW and Smackdown. Once I was in the right frame of mind, I started spouting off wrestlers and with YouTube in front of me, proceeded to watch and listen to every one of their entrances.
There are a couple of problems with this type of research. First, unless it sparks my memory, I have no idea if it really is that superstar’s entrance music, so I threw out all the songs I didn’t recognize. Second, what if I forget somebody that rightfully deserves to be in the top 5? Can’t help that, although the related videos on YouTube did help a little, and that’s where the CJS Regulars can help in the comments section. Finally, the 2 I had in mind turned into 10 solid candidates that I had to choose from. To whittle the list down, I had to think of what purpose the entrance/entrance music serves.
Very similar to the royal trumpets of the middle ages, the entrance music alerts everyone that someone is about to show up and you have to decide whether to run, fight, or surrender. The entrance song has to identify that person and force you to make that decision. Many wrestlers use their entrances in different ways. Some are used only to say, “Hey, this is who I am.” Some use their song to pump themselves up. Some use them to intimidate their opponent. And some wrestlers end up as a promotional tool for someone else’s crappy music *cough* Undertaker’s Kid Rock song *cough*. So enough of the babbling, here is my list of the top 5 WWF entrance songs of all time.
Yes, I realize I just made fun of the Undertaker for using a Kid Rock song and nickname (American Badass) then collaborating with Fred “Dutchbag” Durst by using “Rollin’”. Both were so bad that I won’t even justify with a link. Before the Undertaker hit his midlife crisis and started entering on a Harley, he used to be evil, possibly even Death himself.
His music started with the ominous bells that instantaneously alerted you that the Deadman is coming. His music is dark and sinister and is meant to scare the hell out of you. Just in case you still think you’re going to make it out of the ring alive, they throw in the Death March to let you know you won’t. I was 8 when the undertaker debuted in the WWF and he freaked me out, and I still remember nightmares I had from watching his feud with the Ultimate Warrior – mainly the Undertaker burying me up to my neck in a graveyard (I know the Ultimate Warrior did it to himself to prepare for their match, but nightmares don‘t always make sense).
Juvenile nightmares aside, I’ll wrap up with my favorite Undertaker entrance of all-time. It’s from the WrestleMania when he fought his brother Kane for the first time and the entrance is very theatrical and totally awe-inspiring.
Although I didn’t watch wrestling when DX was at its height in 1997, I’ve seen videos and seen the lesser reincarnations of it, and their music and attitude have stayed the same. This song is full of attitude, beginning with the “Are you ready?” ending with the screaming of “D-Generation X.” DX was about doing what they wanted, when they wanted, and nobody was going to stop them. The song is the same way with lyrics like “You think you can tell us what to do?” I might be reading more into this song than it warrants, but the title is “Break It Down” and DX was all about the destruction of property. The fake press conferences that Shawn Michaels and Triple H put on were hilarious even though they were just excuses for them to show off their butts. In the spirit of DX, I’m going to move on to the next entrance and if you don’t like it, I got two words for you: SUCK IT! <virtual crotch chop>
3. Shawn Michaels (the Heart Break Kid)
This one’s for the ladies. This was one of my original two when I first considered this idea, so I knew it had to be here. It has all the elements of a great entrance song, minus intimidation. The women shrieking at the beginning gives the instant recognition cuing the Shawn Michaels fans to cheer. I think the fact that he hasn’t used a different song in 18 years says a lot about the song. HBK isn’t an intimidating wrestler, he’s a showoff and finesse wrestler and his song is the same way. This song is definitely a self-esteem boost. Cocky, arrogant and self-indulgent? Of course, but that’s Shawn Michaels.
I actually have this song in my regular rotation of pick-me-up songs and it fits nicely before Zebrahead‘s I‘m Money (even if the meanings are totally opposite) in my song lineup. As far as actual entrances go, this song always reminds me of HBK zip-lining down from the rafters into the crowd at WrestleMania XII. Some interesting song facts: Sexy Boy was written by wrestling manager (and Andy Kaufman foe) Jimmy Hart for Shawn Michaels. HBK is the singer with Sensational Sherri (his “manager” at the time) as the female part in the chorus. “Hands off the merchandise” kills me every time.
“For the benefit of those with flash photography” I present Edge, not because of a single entrance song, but because of the sum of the 3 entrances that I know of and probably a little because of personal bias. Edge began his WWF career as a part of my all-time favorite tag team with fellow Canadian Christian. The “You think you know me” at the very beginning lets everyone know exactly who is coming out, but from where you‘ll never know, and the repetitive bass line and guitars get the job done to pump them up.
The part that sets their entrance above the rest was (as I alluded to at the beginning) the 5 second pose, where they make up funny poses that are used to poke fun at the city they‘re in or their opponent to rile up the fans. Although the pose in Boston (the video quality really sucks but it’s the only version I could find) was my favorite, the rapping in New Jersey totally reeked of awesomeness, and the Oakland pose was funny but bittersweet since the Raiders made it to the AFC championship that year and the Broncos didn‘t. While on the subject of Edge and Christian, the honorable mentions for entrance music go to their kazoo versions of Chris Benoit’s music, their own, Triple H’s and Kurt Angle’s.
When Edge went solo he kept the “You think you know me” and added it to the beginning of an edited version of Rob Zombie’s “Never Gonna Stop.” Normally, I would say taking a well known song and using it as you’re entrance is the worst thing to do, like with Undertaker using Kid Rock, but in this case, it’s Rob Zombie (!) and the song actually sounds like it was written specifically to be an entrance song. It’s actually written as a tribute to the novel A Clockwork Orange, but you get my point. Like all of Zombie’s songs, this one automatically pumps you up and intimidates others as well. Plus the lyrics “Never Gonna Stop” have a double meaning: I’m never gonna stop fighting, and you’re never gonna stop me from winning.
I think it would be un-American not to include this song. Both because it’s a truly American song and also because it’s Hulk freaking Hogan, the only wrestler everyone in America could name. This is the song Hulk used at the height of his popularity in the WWF. I was a Hulkamaniac when I was little and this is the entrance music I always remembered for him, but for some reason every time I hear this music, I picture Hulk playing an American flag guitar in the Grand Canyon. After doing some more research, I realize why I picture this. I found the music video for this song (not what is played on the TitanTron) and yep, there’s Hogan playing an American flag guitar in front of the Grand Canyon.
Anyway, this isn’t a very intimidating song but knowing that America is on your side has to pump you up. The real purpose of this song is to explain exactly what the wrestler is all about. In this case, Hulk was the epitome of a face (good guy). He was defending America from all those evil foreign wrestlers like the Iron Sheik, the Bolsheviks, Yokozuna and, ironically, Sgt. Slaughter. There is a line in the song that says “if you hurt my friends then you hurt my pride” and most of what I remember was Hulk coming to the rescue of people who were outnumbered. This is a morally correct song and that’s what the Hulk Hogan character stood for, even if real life didn’t always quite match up. So “say your prayers, take your vitamins, be true to yourself , be true to your country, and be a real American.” Brother.
There it is: Chaddymac’s Top 5. I’m sure I missed a lot of really good songs, but like I said before, my memory is a little fuzzy and I’m at the mercy of the 15 year-olds posting on YouTube, so if you disagree or want to discuss feel free to do so in Comments section.
Thank you for reading, hopefully it wasn’t as painful to read as it was for me to write. From the armpit of America (Houston, Texas) this is Chaddymac saying:
“See you next year when I repeat my Food, Sex or Cars victory.”
Thanks from the CJS to Chaddymac for his terrific contribution. Be sure to give him big ups in the Comments section, and stay tuned for your own opportunity to contribute to the Cru Jones Society. If you wish to contact Chaddymac, email us at staff@crujonessociety.com
27 Jan 2010 CJS Staff