My Top 5 Favorite Heels
The battle between good and evil is one that has engaged man for years. We can’t help but be compelled to watch these two opposing forces duke it out for our benefit. Pro wrestling is just another battlefield for this on-going battle.
While the soap opera-styled stories may tell us who are the good guys and who are the bad guys, we still need more of a reason to root for the good guys. This is where the bad guys really come into play. A good bad guy makes a great good guy. Where would Luke Skywalker be without Darth Vader? He’d still be working on his uncle’s turd farm. Without the Joker, or any other villain in Gotham City, Batman would just be an eccentric rich guy in a weird costume.
Bad guys are needed, and when they’re done right, they’re a lot more fun. I thought I would take a look at some of my favorite bad guys from the world of pro wrestling. In the WWE people do not always stay good or bad, so I picked these wrestlers at some of their more sinister moments. I also tried not to dig too deep, I could go on about other psychology and long feuds that made some great heels, but I’ll keep it simple.
Date: 1990-1993
Type of Villain: Arrogant Prick
Just about any wrestler managed by Bobby “The Brain” Hennan could easily be considered in this list of heels, but Mr. Perfect was the perfect choice. Perfect was incredibly cocky and a complete prick about it. This was evident as soon as he opened his mouth. Hell, it was evident with the name choice of Mr. Perfect.
Mr. Perfect was the embodiment of every jerk off you met in college. The kind of guy who thought he was better than you at everything, and in actuality he really wasn’t. If it were the modern time, he would have short spiked hair, a polo shirt with a popped collar, white rimmed sunglasses, and would hang out in front of his sports car bought by daddy and wait to mock anybody who walked by.
This made Mr. Perfect a great bad guy because you could not wait to watch him get wrecked in the ring by whoever his opponent was. You wanted Mr. Perfect to be Jared Leto and his opponent to be Ed Norton, and just get destroyed for no real reason.
Date: 1990-1991
Type of Villain: Un-American Prick
During the Gulf War, patriotism was at its highest point since the Cold War and before 9/11. And it was at this point Sgt. Slaughter, the only WWE Superstar to become a member of G.I. Joe, switched teams and became an Iraq sympathizer. It’s one thing to turn your back on the country you once claimed to love, but it’s a whole different ball game to side with the enemy.
Slaughter quickly became the fans most-hated villain, and he fueled that fire by torching the face of everybody’s favorite, Hulk Hogan. Not only was Hogan a favorite, but he was the wrestling manifestation of America, well him and “Hacksaw” Jim Duggan. As you heard yesterday, Hogan made his entrance to a song called “Real American,” and at this time he was wearing a stars and stripes bandana. To attack Hogan was to attack America.
This was a good heel angle at the time because everybody wanted to root for America. People were not as torn about the war as they are today, or at least that was the impression I got when I was 7. It was a less tolerant time and un-American actions would not go unpunished.
Dates: 1991
Type of Villain: Back Stabbing Prick
The Rockers were not only Dagger’s favorite wrestlers, but also one of the hottest teams during their time. Their quick and high flying moves were something to be seen. They had perfect timing and chemistry; the kind you would expect only from close friends.
But a couple of miscues and flubs meant The Rockers were about to fulfill the inevitable fate of all tag teams, the break up. Although this is common practice, I was naïve to it at the time so I was shocked. While not my favorite tag team, I was a big fan of them and didn’t want to see them separate.
When a team splits generally one member is a face and the other is a heel. The Rockers established this in a vignette in Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake’s barber shop. Marty Jannetty was doing his best to try and patch things up while Shawn Michaels acted like an egotistical lead singer of a band, similar to Zack Morris in Zack Attack. Just when it looks they are making nice, Michaels does the classic double cross and super kicks Jannetty then puts him through the window of the barber shop.
I thought these two were great friends, so to see Michaels put Jannetty through the window was devastating and I wasn’t alone. Turning on your best friend for incredibly selfish reasons is not something people are for. People like their friends. I remember shortly after this happened I was having my birthday party and a friend got me Rockers action figures. I remember telling him about the break up and the look on his face; it was as if he had just heard his own parents were breaking up.
Date: 1990
Type of Villain: The Monster
There was a time when Denny’s wasn’t populated with pale goth kids flipping hair out of their face. This time was the early 90s, and being pale and dressing in black was almost unheard of. So when The Undertaker, a 6 foot 10 inch, pale guy in all black made his debut to the dark ominous music, I, like Chaddymac, was freaked out.
His eyes would roll back, he would sit straight up as if rising from the dead, and he never spoke. This man was evil incarnate, a monster, and monsters are always the bad guy. You wanted to see him get defeated because it made you feel safe, like there was someone out there who could save you from the boogey man.
On top of being a scary dude, he was accompanied by Paul Bearer, a stocky, chubby man with an equally pale face. Paul Bearer was frightening in his own way and it added to the creepiness of The Undertaker. And after watching season 4 of “Dexter” I am now a little more freaked out by the urn carried around by Paul Bearer. This whole concept was evil and scary and perfect for a villain.
The Million Dollar Man Ted DiBiase
Dates: 1987-1996
Type of Villain: Rich prick
It is a general acceptance that extremely wealthy people are jerks, Mr. Burns, Bill Gates, and Scrooge McDuck to name a few. But Ted DiBiase took that concept to a whole new level. DiBiase had the mentality that because he had more money than damn near everybody he was better than everybody and above everybody. This was a quick way to make people hate you.
DiBiase not only flaunted his wealth, but also his dickishness. Offering a kid 100 bucks to dribble a basketball 15 times, then kicking it away on the 14th bounce, paying his bodyguard to essentially humiliate himself, or even trying to buy the championship. All moves that removed him from the common man.
Acting like a complete jerk just because you have money is something that most people absolutely hate and DiBiase played it up like Darrell Hammond portraying Donald Trump. DiBiase was the richest asshole there was, and nothing was better than when he got his ass beat.
A couple of honorable mentions include Andy Kaufman, he fought women with no mercy. Vince McMahon, he was the boss, nobody likes their boss.
There are two kinds of bad guys: the kind you hate and want to see lose and the kind you just want off your TV. While there are a lot more of the latter, when the former come along, they come with some force, like these five, and they made wrestling fun.
See ya in the ring…
lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com
28 Jan 2010 Lee S. Hart