We don’t know about you, but this has felt like a long week. But now it has finally come to an end. We’re just a few short hours from beer thirty and we plan on killing the time with some time wasting links. We invite you to do the same. And why wouldn’t you? After all this week we have frogurt, the best dead guy ever, and of course more Oscar talk. So duck the boss, kick back, and read on.

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 The Academy Awards are this Sunday, thought we would mention that in case you missed our extended Oscar coverage this week. While the show is expected be big and do incredible ratings numbers, it probably won’t do as well as the 1989 show. The bright side is it can’t be a bigger train wreck than the 1989 show. Allan Carr was in charge of the show and he apparently took the wheel and lost control; having Rob Lowe serenade Snow White and adorning a woman’s head with a replica of a theater are just a few examples of what went on that night. It wasn’t a total wash though, apparently, many things Carr did that night have become standard practice at the Academy Awards. We just wish we were old enough to appreciate what was blowing up before us at the time. As long as Martin and Baldwin know the difference between shit and Shinola, then this year’s should be a good one.

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Don Ameche is the proud recipient of an Oscar. And even though it was for his role in Cocoon, it was not in the category of most awesome old dude in a movie about aliens. That category doesn’t exist, yet. We only bring this up because we love Cocoon. Some say we love it a little too much for dudes our age, and to those people we say, “Shut up! Cocoon is awesome!” But some people appreciate our appreciation of the movie and invite Dagger to do a podcast discussing some of the finer points of the movie. One such person is friend of CJS Rob Rector, and said podcast can be found on his most excellent site for 80s movies podcasts, Natsukashi. So check it out. We swear it will be better than the Monday Confessional we did related to Cocoon.

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Before the Oscars dominated our website, the Olympics had a strong hold on it and to that end we want to add one more Olympics related piece. One of our favorite things during the games was seeing Paul Stastny compete for the USA. He brought home the silver medal in hockey and has made the great state of Colorado proud. We don’t love him just because he is a member of the Colorado Avalanche, but also because he attended college at the University of Denver. He is the new face of Colorado hockey, and we enjoyed what he had to say about the opportunity to play in the Olympics. But that is said and done and old news. Time to focus on Lord Stanley’s Cup, and this time don’t let that little bitch Sidney Crosby have a say in it.

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The Olympics are over, and March has begun, and that means it’s Spring Training time, and the beginning of our baseball talk. Many of you just sighed and are reaching over to scroll down. But the rest of you are on board and eager for April to arrive. Hell, even many celebrities are excited about spring training. Obvious Billy Crystal is all about it, so much so he even got to play in a game with his beloved Yankees. Here is a list of other celebrities who had the opportunity to fail in front of their baseball idols.

And for those of you who keep up with the Rockies, this should make you happy. Spilly has said he dealt with three life changing events last year and those affected his game. But he is focused this year and ready to kick some ass and take some names. We are more than ready for him to do that too. We love Spilly and want him to play up to his potential as well as entertain us with his goofy facial hair. We can’t wait.

Some of us (read: Dagger and Lady E) really can’t wait and decided to follow Spilly around a local grocery store in Tucson, AZ. That’s right; they took their annual trip to Tucson to enjoy warm air, baseball, and the company of Senor Limon. And that brings us to this week’s confessional question: Where do you try to visit every year without fail and why? Do you have family Spokane, WA you like to see once a year? Maybe you head to “Canada” to visit your internet “girlfriend.” Or even just a condo in a different part of the state. Wherever your desired destination may lie, we want to hear all about. Send your getaway spot to us, staff@crujonessociety.com, and on Monday we’ll take a mini trip to these hot spots.

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Let’s see, we’ve covered Olympics, hockey, and baseball. We don’t care about basketball, at least not until the Nuggets get in the playoffs, yeah we’re those kind of fans when it comes to basketball, at least we’ll admit it. So that only leaves football for us to talk about. This is a bit of a stretch in terms of football talk, but we’re running with it. O.J. Simpsons, remember that guy? Well he’s back in the news, kind of, he has given permission for his suit to go into the Smithsonian. No not his football jersey, but the suit he was wearing when he was acquitted of murder charges. That’s right, in a museum that houses the Declaration of Independence, the “Spirit of St. Louis”, and The Fonz’s leather jacket will now be home to the suit a man was wearing when it was decided that he didn’t kill two people. The Smithsonian wants the suit because the O.J. trial was a huge event in our society. We agree; this was really the point our society took a turn for the worse in our celebrity idolizing. But what we really want to know is why the suit and not the glove? The glove strikes us more as an iconic image to the whole thing. The Smithsonian has Fonzie’s jacket, not his t-shirt; Archie Bunker’s chair, not the floor lamp. So why not the glove?

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And that wraps up our sports coverage this week. We now turn the forum over F-U-Natalie who sent us this link. With the aid of a youth minister we are attempting to learn a foreign language, the language of youth. It’s good for a laugh as we are treated to things we haven’t heard anyone use in ten years, such as “scrub,” yeah like the TLC song; words “South Park” has already mocked to the extreme, like “a’ight;” and shit we’re pretty sure he made up, really there is no way Ace Boon Coon can be real. The best part is years from now when these words will seem even more ridiculous, or redonkulous, than they are now. Like when we look back on words like groovy and far out. So to the future generations, you’re welcome.

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In other news that is whack fo’ shiggidy my weeble (seriously cannot be real) some dumb broad in New Jersey, and no it’s not Snooki, is suing the ska-funk-punk band Fishbone for injuries she sustained at their concert. She claims the injuries were a result of the singer stage diving, without warning, into the crowd. As much as we hate stage diving, we really hope this dame does not win this case. We are tired of people not taking responsibility for themselves. You’re near the stage at a punk show; you have to expect you could get hurt. Yeah maybe not to the extent she did get hurt, but such is life. Get the fuck over it and move on. Don’t blame the band you made the choice of seeing.

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In more upbeat, positive ska news stories, local ska superstars Five Iron Frenzy are releasing a DVD reliving the “glory days of Denver’s third wave ska scene.”  While FIF’s keen on Jesus lyrics wore thin on us quickly, they always did put on a fun show and we can only expect some of the same in this DVD, and we’re always down for supporting the local punk scene, anything to make people not think of the Fray when they think Denver music.

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Even if the third wave ska bands have dwindle from Denver, we still love this city. And apparently it’s about to get better as we are getting a Pinkberry. If you recall several Happy Fridays ago we linked an Esquire interview with Dana White, of the UFC, and he swore by the awesomeness of this frozen yogurt (or frogurt, for you Simpsons nerds) place. SO bully for us. This news is less than exciting to me as yogurt, in any form, does not play well with my UC, so this is a place I won’t be visiting. But I hope the rest of you enjoy it.

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One thing I can and do enjoy is Mike Birbiglia’s Secret Public Journal arriving in my email semi regularly. In this recent one Mike discusses how he has grown to love cats. Dagger recommends that if you are about to marry someone with cats you need to read this as you will turn into this man. It has happened to Dagger, every word of it, except the sticking the cats with needles part. Read the journal before jumping to conclusions!

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Now if the cat hair is getting to you and you need to get out, one option is the movies. And opening this weekend is Tim Burton’s Alice in Wonderland. We’re probably going to skip this one, but we cannot wait for Tim Burton’s next re-imagined movie. A classic from our youth, Weekend At Bernie’s. You can watch the trailer here. We love Weekend At Bernie’s and hate remakes, but after that trailer we’re down for this, despite the lack of Andrew McCarthy

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Demotivator calls it like it sees it

 

It’s like that show panders to children or something.

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com

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