Welcome to a totally tubular Monday Confessional here at the gnarly, radical, and totally righteous Cru Jones Society. This week we’re totally 80s and we asked you: What is an 80s (or early 90s) fad you totally participated in? Since we’re based off the best 80s movie of all-time, this question is right up our alley, and apparently it’s in four of our readers’ wheelhouses too. So pop in your favorite Real Life single, and let’s revisit the day-glo paradise where cocaine, materialism, and really fucked up hairstyles ruled the day. And if you don’t like it, bag your face.
E Dagger: When I was in elementary school, I always felt like my pants never looked right. There was no problem with the ugly acid wash up near my waist, or the ugly pleats in my Bugle Boy jeans, it was how the bottoms of the pants interacted with my shoes that I had a problem with. For whatever reason, the bottoms of my pants always looked screwy to me. I had a buddy who tight rolled his jeans and showed me how to do it. I thought it looked cool, but goddamn if that isn’t the most uncomfortable way to wear your pants ever! It wasn’t until I found my ultimate calling that I felt like my pants looked correct: Gigantic ass high top sneakers!
Every time my family would drive up to Vail, we’d have to stop at the Silverthorne outlet stores. I loathed these trips as a kid because it meant 3 hours of soul-sucking shopping at outlet stores. The only saving grace was that after each trip I became instantly cooler than roughly 95% of my friends because I would come home with a fresh pair of (blemished, therefore steeply discounted) Air Jordans. Air Jordans were the ultimate late 80s/early 90s status symbol, and I had ‘em. Black and red ones one year. Bright white ones with purple trim and teal highlights the next. And considering I was, like, the third best basketball player on my team, my game improved tremendously just by virtue of these awesome sneakers.
Most importantly though, I finally was able to stuff the front of pant cuffs right into that giant tongue of the Jordans rendering my pants seven different shades of awesome all at once. I rocked this look with zeal until I found my next end-all, be-all of foot fashion: Vans. But that’s a story for another time.
Lee S. Hart: I know there was once a time when I loved, and I mean love like a fat kid loves cake to borrow a line from Fitty, day glo, so I am sure when I was able to start choosing my own clothes there was no shortage of that in my closet. So there was that. I also recall bulky high tops being my shoe of choice, well maybe not choice because I think due to Nickelodeon and MC Hammer I always wanted some BK Knights, but I never got any.
I think the fad that best represented my early 90s fashion were my hats. The first, I;m not sure if it can be called a fad because I don’t know the popularity of them, but it was a jazz cap, this exact one actually (above). I wore that hat every chance I got. I just loved the bright colors against the black. I think I got this thing from Wendy’s. There were a couple other ones in different colors, but I didn’t wear those. Then as I got a little older and tried to fit in and be cool I got myself a Chicago Bulls hat. I’m pretty sure I bought it from the Mile High Flea Market and it had a weird point in the front. I really didn’t watch a lot of basketball, but I knew liking Jordan and the Bulls was the hip thing to do, so I dawned that hat. Then it got banned from school because it had red and was associated with gangs. Which seems like a legitimate concern in the 90s in the suburbs of Golden, Colorado. Wait, no, I’m thinking the exact opposite of that.
Not really a fashion fad, per say, but I remember having a bright green trapper keeper with a shark on it and some neon looking shapes. I proceeded to cover this trapper keeper with as many stickers as I could possibly get, with a desired emphasis on scratch and sniff. The creme de le creme was the root beer float scratch and sniff I had. Not only did I think it smelled totally awesome but I think a cute girl gave it to me, or at least I have always associated it with that girl.
I wonder what ever happened to that jazz cap?
As always, it’s now your turn. We suppose it shouldn’t be surprising that we heard mostly from our female readership, although we can’t help but admire them for sticking around after last week’s orgy of baseball. Regardless, let’s check in on the other embarrassing fads of the day delivered fresh to your computer by way of our neon-painted Confessional booth.
Lady E: Considering I grew up in the late 80′s and early 90′s I had it ALL! I had the wall of bangs (for full effect you separated your bangs in 3 parts curled 2 under and one up then teased with an entire can of aqua net), hypercolor tee-shirts, and slap bracelets! I think my favorite look was the 2 (yes 2) pairs of multi colored socks under my hightop shoes, tight rolled jeans, tee-shirts (again, yes 2, and they were bright multi-colored shirts) with a knot in them, with my wall of bangs. I was HOT. I never thought I would say this, but thank god the grunge era came our way. It improved my fashion exponentially!
CassieB: I think I participated in possibly every 80′s fad imaginable. Unfortunately I was unable to find the picture but I think what best represents my 80′s experience is my class picture taken in the 5th grade. I was wearing a neon green and black striped “ESPRIT” mock-turtleneck (with large ESPRIT block letters across the front), leaning forward on one arm that has 4 swatch watches lining it bordered by several jelly bracelets. I have a gigantic perm and my bangs were puffy, teased and sprayed with several cans of Aquanet hairspray. Although not shown in the picture I am fairly sure I am wearing acid washed jeans that are “tight rolled” (aka pegged) and two different colors of scrunchy socks and my LA Gear High Top tennis shoes. Man was I ugly.
Gutter: My fashion fad in the 90′s was the Starter pull over jacket. I had two a Chicago Bulls one and a University of Michigan one. I don’t know why I was a Michigan fan back in the day, probably because they were good and I hated CU, some things never change I guess. Anyway, I remember how ridiculously puffy those damn things were and the huge pocket in the front where you could hide a 20 pound baby if you needed. It was pretty awesome.
Corriander: I fell victim to most of the late 80′s/early 90′s fads - hypercolor, BUM, snap bracelets, tight rolled jeans, rolled up t-shirt sleeves, neon colors, teased bangs/hair, perms – you name it. However, since I grew up in Montana before the internet was widely used, I displayed these fads 3 to 5 years after most of the rest of the country. So really the fad’s I was guilty of were more early to mid 90′s.
Love the enthusiasm of this week’s participants! And where can you find the most enthusiasm (along with the saddest low-self esteem motherfuckers on the planet?) – reality shows! Since not a week goes by without a brand new one infesting the airwaves of some network, we’ll put a question out to the readership and find out where everyone stands on the issue. We want to know: What reality show would you most like to be a contestant on? Simple as that. Something somewhat noble like The Amazing Race? Something life-affirming (if you’re a big fat fatty) like The Biggest Loser? If anyone answers Flavor of Love, you can go ahead and leave now.
We want to know more about all our readers. So don’t hold back. If you haven’t confessed, or it’s been awhile, or even if you did it last week, we want to hear from you. Confession is good for your soul. Don’t be shy and send us your response, along with your posting name to firstname.lastname@example.org and we’ll put them up next week.
Dagger & Hart
05 Apr 2010 CJS Staff