Flogging Molly once sang, “Today is the worst day since yesterday.” Well that day is not today. It’s Friday, it’s Opening Day at Coors Field, and there is a sweet ass UFC fight tomorrow. Today looks to be a very good day. And we hope to add to the goodness with a fresh collection of links including jokes from pretty ladies, AWK, and some Star Wars talk. We know that last one got everybody excited. Now set your phasers for fun, and let’s get to it. What? Phasers are Star Trek, not Star Wars? Whatever, nerd. Let’s just get to the links.

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First things first we want to give props and a plug for a gentleman who sent us an email. Mark Schumaker took some time and made a sweet ass hoodie. Sure hoodies are a dime a dozen and why is this one so special? Well, imaginary person asking us questions to move things along and correcting our nerd space travel confusion, the hoodie Mark made is a replica of Cru Jones racing jacket. The one he wore when he took on Helltrack. This hoodie is nothing short of spectacular, and if Mr. Schumaker can gather enough interest he will make more. So rise up members of our society and let this man know how awesome his hoodie is! Then he’ll make more and we can all pretend to beat the evil Bart Taylor in the greatest BMX race ever.

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The Rad hoodie is our sweet ass replica item of the week. Mark Buehrle has our sweet ass play of the week. Perhaps you remember that name from last season when he threw a perfect game? Yeah he’s making news again, and this time with some fancy defense work. Words won’t do it justice, but we will say it was amazing the way he went 5-hole. Just watch the video.

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In other baseball news, we’re recalling one of the predictions from our baseball season predictions confessional. Dagger’s first predictions: Bud Selig will make two important decisions this year. One of them will be brilliant; the other will be reality-warpingly stupid. This is what Mr. Selig has done so far. We’ll let you decide which one of the decisions it is.

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News like that will drive one to drink on the job, but if you work at Carlsberg Brewery you can only do that on your lunch break now. No that’s not a typo. The employees used to be able to drink the fine quality brew as they worked, but that privilege has been reduced to beer only at lunch. Sounds rough, we know. So rough in fact the workers have decided to strike. We support them! It is important to be able to enjoy the product one is making. That’s why during lunch at my office, we huff a bunch of natural gas. CJS regular Keithage told us at his company they go to the vault and swim around like Scrooge McDuck.

And down at the CJS offices we sit around and make jokes. Yeah that’s a pretty good lunch. Sometimes we like to go through reader email, and that really works best when you send us some. If you have a funny or interesting link you want to share with the internet, send it to us. Come across a picture that made you lol? Send it our way. But our favorite reader emails are your responses to our Monday Confessional questions. Speaking of which, we have a brand new one (didn’t see that coming, did ya?). So this week we want to know: If you could be on any reality show, which one would it be and why? Do you think you got what it takes to outwit and outlast on “Survivor?” Do you want to live with 6 strangers who stop being polite? Or do you want to be on “Cops” again? Send your answer to staff@crujonessociety.com and we’ll work it into the programming schedule.

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One of our favorite reality shows is, um, reality. But it seems like there are a lot of people trying to turn that into a game, one horrifyingly scary ass game. It starts with a Wi-Fi tooth brush that puts you into brushing competitions across the interwebs. The things mentioned in this article make us weep for humanity. This has George Orwell written all over it, you know, if he had the foresight to create the internet.

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While life will make for one terrifying game, high school championship hockey makes for a great game. Even if the game is played 21 years later. Due to a measles outbreak, caused by a priest (insert your own joke here), the championship game that was supposed to happen in 1989 never did. Until now. Members of the two teams decided they needed some closure and organized a championship slash reunion game. And in the process they raised some money for charity. Way to go guys. But also, it was high school, you should have moved on years ago.

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Here’s another story of somebody trying to rehash something from high school. One of our favorite musicians, Andrew W.K. released a new song. This is one he wrote back in his high school days; oh at that time it got him a restraining order. Yeah, no guff. It was about some chick he was all sorts of obsessed with and it does get a bit on the creepy side. It’s kind of like Sting singing about how he’ll be watching you, but more intense, just as creepy though cause Sting is creepy.

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Now the part you have all been looking forward to and the news that will make you feel like you’re back in high school. George Lucas is teaming with Seth Green and Matthew Senreich to make a new Star Wars comedy cartoon. Seth and Matthew are the two responsible for the “Robot Chicken Star Wars” parodies, which then lead to the “Family Guy” Star Wars parodies. The point is this should be a pretty funny send up of the beloved classic. Dorks everywhere are going nuts, we’re guessing, we don’t talk to any dorks.

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Let’s close out this week with some hot chicks telling us jokes. We really don’t have anything else to say about this. It’s hot, or allegedly hot, celebrity chicks sharing jokes with the readers. Enjoy.

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If you were to ask if this week’s demotivator was a good demotivator, we would have to reply that it has its moments.

See you in the bleachers…

lee.s.hart@crujonessociety.com