3rd Annual Food Sex or Cars Competition! Next Week! Joy!

It’s that time of year, everyone!

Put on your thankful pants, bitches! Because Thanksgiving is here and that means the return of Food Sex or Cars! This year is bigger and better than last year with three scenarios per day, and even weirder choices. The fun begins Monday and carries all the way through Thanksgiving and on to Black Friday.

For those of you who didn’t play last year, here’s how it works:

We give you a scenario presenting the option of eating something, having sex with someone, or driving something. Your job is to consider the three choices and decide which one is best. Would you rather eat the food, have sex with the celebrity, or own the car? Be sure to think about each one as critically as possible because there is a right answer to each scenario presented. Simple as that. Type your answer into the comments section with an explanation of your choice, and we’ll tally the scores at the end of the week. Whoever has the highest score at the end of the week wins an awesome prize. Here’s a sample from last year in case you’re having a hard time grasping this concept:

Lasagna VS Joey Tribbiani from “Friends” VS A Jet Ski

Answer: A Jet Ski

Last year’s explanation: This one was designed to be tough, but ultimately solvable based on your first instinct. Lasagna is one of those things that when someone says that’s what’s for dinner, you get immediately excited because lasagna almost never tastes bad. And anyone who undertakes the task of cooking a lasagna usually has more than a minimum amount of cooking acumen. In Season 1 of Friends, Joey learns how to “be there for her” which is slang for “perform some oral, son!” so you know he can do his thing with the best of ‘em. He’s a sweet guy and he’s more than accomplished in the sack, but who wants to simply be the 312th notch in someone’s bedpost? Proven fact: Riding a jet ski at high speed across a lake is in the top 2% of the funnest things you could ever do over the course of your life. Look it up. Jet ski wins.

Here are the rules:

* Answers must be submitted in the CJS Comments section, so no one can bitch about us not receiving an email, and everyone sees everyone else’s vote. Each scenario will have its own dedicated post, so type your answers in the corresponding comments section. And for the love of God, please use a consistent name.

* Lively discussion and explanations are welcome. They add to the flavor of the game and questioning the answers of other competitors may give you an edge over your competition. Or it may not. The point is: Have fun!

* But don’t be ambiguous about posting your answer. A simple declarative sentence like: “My choice is Angelina Jolie” will do. But feel free to type: “Final answer: Angelina Jolie” or something to that effect so there’s no mistake. Anything we can’t reasonably figure out will be disqualified.

* CJS has final say over each correct answer. Feel free to piss and moan about our choices, but we get final say.

* Winners receive a handsome prize. And what are they? We’re glad you asked as they all come from our very own online merch store, courtesy of Zazzle.com.

3rd Prize: Any combination of CJS merchandise that adds up to $10

2nd Prize: Any combination of CJS merchandise that adds up to $20

1st Prize: $30 worth of CJS merchandise, and your very own guest column on CJS

That’s right! You could pen your own thought-provoking tome and have your opinions shown to a rapidly growing audience of dedicated CJS Regulars. We have a dedicated and growing audience and we take our content seriously, so this isn’t any old chance to piss into the wind. It’s a chance to write something that a lot of people will see.

Chaddymac took home the big prize last year and wrote this killer piece on WWF Entrance Themes. You could be the one in the CJS spotlight this year… Yes, even you, Mr. Doubting Thomas.

But you have to vote. Voting will close on Monday, November 29 at 6:00 pm MST. So get ready, put your thinking cap on, and get ready to sin.

Because CJS rocks your Thanksgiving week with Food Sex or Cars! Good luck everyone!