The last few days of the years is always the time when the internets like to look back at the year that was, and we want to fit in so we’ll be doing the same thing. Our primary resource, ok our only resource, is the goofy shit we like to call Happy Friday. Each week we would comb the World Wide Web looking for the best, oddest, and most interesting stories, or whatever strikes our fancy (fancies?) and share it with all our loyal readers. Now we have meticulously gone through each one of those weekly editions and picked out the best stories of the year. Don’t worry, we won’t bore you with more Kayne or LeBron talk, or bring up the other stories that have been beaten to death. What we do have for you are only the stories and time wasting videos deemed worthy enough for one mega year end round of ass sliding.

Now grab a drink, sit back, get comfortable and enjoy this UberHappy Friday (On a Thursday) 2010 Year in Review

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At one point this year there was some controversy surroundig Andrew W.K. and not the kind we expected. We thought he would have been tagged for partying too hard and bringing the ruckus like the Wu-Tang asked. Nope, none of that. What was swirling? Questions about Andrew’s true identity. Was the guy on the cover, in photos, and rocking the shows the same guy who was actually singing? We were given very vague answers as to who the W.K. was. In the end though, we decided it really didn’t matter as long as someone came with a positive attitude and made sweet ass party music. The only thing we can add comes from the words of Happy Gilmore, “Green jacket, gold jacket, who gives a shit?” So to all the Andrew W.K.s, past, present and beyond, continue to party hard and we’ll support you, whoever you are.

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One of the best things we found this year was Geekweek.com. This quickly became a regular stop for us to get our news, not like real world political news and such, but news we care about. Movie news, music news, TV news, comic book news, you know, the things that really matter. Geekweek.com is like 411mania.com but feels less pretentious, which we suppose is important for a news website, it’s not like there aren’t millions of other sources for this information on the web. More importantly though we love having another link in our favorites tab that contains the word geek, the ones with the word nerd were starting to take over, variety is important.

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While we’re geeking things up we want to throw in this video of the rules for last years Geek Bowl. After all these months it is still a fun video to watch. We also bring it up because we prepping for this year’s Geek Bowl. In one months time we will be competing for the whole kit and caboodle, the whole shebang, the entire one more wining it all cliché. We’re hoping to win the big cash prize as well as all the glory that comes from knowing more useless information than other people. Once we do the Rocky style montage training session then that prize and glory are as good as ours!

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Let’s knock one more in for the geek hat trick. How about this list of ten geek anthems? Yes that will do nicely for the trifecta. While we expected the likes of Weird Al and Devo to be on this list we were surprised to learn about a genre known as nerdcore hip hop. How far things have fallen for hip hop, once dominated by the gangsta rap stylings of NWA, Ice T, and that one album from Hammer, now it shares self space with something known as nerdcore. Guess not everyone who raps can be a hardcore ghetto gangster. Hell, Hart used to have a rap on his outgoing voicemail, talk about nerdcore. Apparently we were aware of nerdcore, just unaware it had a moniker.

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It was a big year for television. Well, sorta. Guess it really wasn’t that much bigger than any other year, except maybe when color was introduced. We would call that a pretty big year in television.  Anyway, here are some of the major points in television this year.

 The late night shake up. This story was beaten to death, so you are probably well aware of what happened. Conan O’Brien became the new host of The Tonight Show but his ratings were poor and the show was given back to Jay Leno and Conan was kicked off television for several months. Eventually he resurfaced on cable, and here in Colorado he airs at 9 pm, which means our old asses can watch him and still get to bed at a reasonable hour. Our favorite piece from the whole shake up was this from Funny or Die in which Leno wishes the best to Conan several years ago when the world learned Conan was set to become the next host of The Tonight Show. What’s that old saying? Time makes fools of us all. Is that an old saying or is that just something Fry once said? Either way it fits.

Lost came to an end and yet the annoying fans continue to be annoying as demonstrated here. Apparently the finale was a giant let down with no payoff, leaving those said annoying fans disappointed. Since we didn’t watch the show we we’re disappointed. Advantage: CJS. Had there been an episode where the Harlem Globetrotters showed up, then maybe we have watched. Actually no we would not have. The only way we would have watched was if that island consisted of large breasted topless chicks, in fact that would probably get us on board with any show.

While technically the real story from this will take place next year, this year Steve Carell announced this would be his final season as Dunder Mifflin Scranton Branch Manager. While we’ll miss his antics, we applaud his choice. We can’t really see this character going anywhere new or anything fresh being done with him. We would wish him the best of luck but really he doesn’t need it. He’s gonna do alright for himself. The Office, however, will most likely go to hell. Michael Scott was the heart of the show. We are hard pressed to think of a show that was successful after such a prominent character left. And if you said Cheers you’re wrong because Diane sucked, and not in the good way.

Even with Carell leaving the Thursday night line up we still have many other funny, funny people to look forward to. One of those people is Tina Fey. No big news story from her this year, but we just really liked this interview so we decided to repost it. In our eyes Tina Fey can do no wrong, except for Baby Mama and Sarah Palin’s Alaska. Wait, that was actually Sarah Palin? But the comedic level on that show is astronomical; we could have sworn it was Fey. Well shit.

One of the best videos we saw on YouTube was of this young man solving a Rubik’s Cube. What’s so special about that you ask? Thousands of people solve Rubik’s Cubes all the time, in fact there was a gentleman waiting in line at the post office solving and unsolving one over and over as he waited, you say? Well, this one is special because he solves it to the theme song for Perfect Strangers, that’s why. It’s awesome and you know it!

The top of the line news outlet, Fox News, took time from its regular news reporting this year to bring us this fantastic article and slideshow filling us in on the whereabouts of the cast of one of the best shows from our childhood, Hey Dude. It’s a little disappointing though as half the cast left show biz and Fox lacks the ability, or desire, to even find current pictures of them. But any chance to talk about Hey Dude is a-ok with us.

Probably our favorite TV related thing we found on the internet this year was this awesome quiz on Sporcle.com. An audio quiz of TV theme songs. We dominated this quiz, which means we should maybe get out a little more, or at least should have, but that’s in the past. We can’t change it now, at least not until we make friends with Doc Brown.

Alright, that’s enough television, for this post.

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We didn’t get the Xbox Kinect for Christmas, maybe because we didn’t ask for one, but we shouldn’t have to! We did at least get some sweet Wi-Fi toothbrushes! Now we can upload all our brushing stats and compete with others to see who can be crowned Teeth Brushing Champion. Now there’s a title that means something, I mean nothing. I always get those two mixed up. Oh technology, how we love the way you attempt to make the most mundane task fun and quasi enjoyable.

While not nearly as cool sounding as Wi-Fi toothbrush, you know this is going to be bad if its name is worse than that, the iPad made its debut this year. Despite its stupid sounding name, this turned out to be a fairly popular item. We don’t know shit about that. We don’t even use Smartphones unless those real jobs we have force us to use them, and I really don’t need more access to this internet contraption.  But bully for Apple to find another way to take money from the population. And if you have an iPad and enjoy it, then good for you.

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This year also saw the creation of a long overdue support group. The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation. Every year less than 10 children are traumatized by goats, usually at petting zoos, but some times farms, and occasionally the nomadic city goats that can be found roaming through well lit alleys. It is important that these children receive help before the trauma caused by goats fully damages their lives. Most victims of goat trauma grow up to lead mostly normal lives, but with the aid of The Childhood Goat Trauma Foundation they can grow up to lead totally normal lives. Please support this foundation in order to give everyone a fighting chance.

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Tony Clifton is still alive and kicking, making sure to make people feel bad about themselves as well as leaving people to question if Andy Kaufman is really dead. Just to keep things as ambiguous as possible, Tony Clifton gave this awesome interview. Much like the identity of Andrew W.K. we don’t really care who Tony Clifton is as long as he is making us laugh.

Since Clifton has to be someone around a thousand years old, and because we received many request for this, we are doing a special Monday Confessional. You remember that right? We ask you some question and you send us you answer along with some reasoning to staff@crujonessociety.com then we compile it all into a post for everyone to read and mock. So here is the special confessional question for you, and the one we always do this time of year: The 2011 Ghoul Pool! Which Three Famous People Do You Think Will Kick The Bucket In 2011? So think about it, rack your mind and decide which three people from the public eye will end up in our year-end obituary post. Send your answers to us in an email by January 2nd, check back on the 3rd to see all the picks, and watch through the year to see if your pony wins the race. That last part seemed a bit callous.

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 mmmmmmm……beer

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 What say we take a look at sports for the year?

The quick highlights: this was the year of the pitcher in MLB, there were a couple perfect games (the second ever post season perfect game), several no-hitters (including the first one in Colorado Rockies history by Ubaldo Jimenez), and a couple almost no-nos (tough break).

The Winter Olympics dominated our televisions in February. From Lindsey Vonn racing down the slopes, to Shaun White shredding like everyone expected, to the US hockey team almost grabbing the gold in over time, these Winter Games never let us down, except for NBC dropping the ball on the coverage. We had a lot of Olympic coverage; we could do a whole post just on our Olympic posts. So to save some time just go here and peruse them at your leisure.

The other big important sports story for us was Brock Lesnar overcoming his intestinal disease and returning to the Octagon. He won the title from Shane Carwin then a few months later lost it to Cain Velasquez. Both matches were great and a lot of fun to watch. If you have never seen a Brock Lesnar UFC fight, then your New Year’s resolution should be to see one. Come along with us, you’ll have fun, guaranteed (fun not actually guaranteed).

Oh and someone won the World Cup. We think it was Spain. We probably should have looked that up, but come on; it’s soccer, so we really don’t care.

The New Orleans Saints won the Super Bowl. It was just what that town needed after several long years of rebuilding after Katrina. And everyone in town celebrated, and dammit, it looked like one hell of a party that we wish we had attended. Little did they know that BP was going rain sludge on that parade. But for one glorious month, they were on the top of the world.

In more news about sports we don’t care for, we were given this surprisingly interesting article about what’s it like racing in Talladega. This makes car racing sound like an awesome and scary experience that we would like to try if we weren’t giant pansies who have lived sheltered lives making sure we know all the lyrics to sitcom themes. Gives us a new respect for NASCAR drivers. We still loathe NASCAR fans though.

The Chicago Blackhawks won the Stanley Cup. Makes me want to ask our Cub fan friends how it feels to have seen every other team in Chicago win a championship in their lifetime while the Cubs remain, what’s the word? Oh yeah, losers? They don’t care for that question. 

And the World Series was won by the San Francisco Giants, and nobody is happy about that. But just looking at that photo, one would assume it was a little league team that won. 

Perhaps we should at least mention basketball, while the Lakers won yet another title, we think it was the Lakers; again we don’t care enough to look it up. The basketball story that grabbed our attention this year was about George Karl, Nuggets head coach, battling cancer again. He fought it off once and was doing pretty well, but then that stupid shit came back and he had to kick some more ass. We don’t know Karl personally, and we rarely watch him coach, but he seems like a really swell guy so we are happy to see him overcome cancer, again. 

Tiger Woods apologized for shit that was none of our business to begin with. 

Finally our sports section wraps up with William Shatner. We have this great video of him doing spoken word renditions of WWE entrance music. While some of our readers may not enjoy this as much as us, and even point out how there are only a few us who would care about and enjoy this, we don’t care because a) it is awesome b) it is hilarious and c) it is our site and we’ll link to any wrestling related shit we want to. Just be happy we didn’t throw in the transcript of when Vader was on Boy Meets World, truly the pinnacle of abc’s TGIF. 

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Alright fine, just to even it our a little, here is a video game related video. Pixilated characters invade the city and began to turn it all into blocks of pixels, probably in some attempt to collect quarters. We suspect they are each trying to amass a complete set of the state quarters. Or you know, there is no motivation and video game characters are just dicks. There, that should make up for that wrestling video, unless you’re a chick, then you probably hated the last several paragraphs. 

There is just no way we can please everyone. But maybe everyone can find something they like in this list of the 50 Best YouTube videos. If you can’t find something in this you like, then you are a joyless individual and we can’t figure out why you are reading a humor website.  

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Aside from the iPad and Wi-Fi toothbrushes, 2010 was also the year science was making a breakthrough in the field of suspended animation. Finally we’ll be able to freeze ourselves until we can hang out with robots, or travel to a planet resembling a Yes album cover, full of mutants, and on the verge of destruction. Either way we see no downside to suspended animation, and if we did, we would just freeze ourselves until a resolution to such a downside is found.  

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During the hiatus, we attempted to try writing for a new medium. We participated in the 48 Hour Film Project. As soon as the director’s cut is finalized we’ll be sharing that with you as well as more details about what was involved. So with movies on the brain let’s see what 2010 gave us from the world of cinema. 

At two different and awesome points over this year we got drunk in a JC Penny parking lot then stumbled into the movie theater. First we saw Hot Tub Time Machine, which we were happy to be drunk for. We bring this up because we recalled this interview with 80’s film director Savage Steve Holland in which he explains that John Cusack hated Better Off Dead and One Crazy Summer, some of his best work, and how he now hates Hot Tub Time Machine. To which we say Cusack is crazy, but Savage Steve is awesome. Also getting drunk before a movie with your best friend is a great way to spend a Saturday as an adult. We recommend it. 

Inception had vague ending, forcing the audience to think about it. Sometimes movies without vague endings will still cause a person to think more about the movie and maybe in a different way. That’s what this list is and ever since we read it we haven’t been able to watch some of our favorite movies in the same way. These are some of the best ideas we have ever heard and we love them!  

Not mentioned in the 2010 CJS Cavalcade of Death was Miramax Films. While the studio did end up releasing a bunch of crap, hell they all do, Miramax was responsible for a lot of awesome independent and well made films, Swingers and Pulp Fiction to name a couple. The studio was responsible for bringing Tarantino to us and for that we are ever grateful. So thanks Miramax and so long.  

2010 also saw Tim Burton’s remake machine running wild, in addition to Alice in Wonderland, we also got the trailer for his new vision for Weekend at Bernie’s. As a favorite movie around the CJS office, we’re interested in seeing what Burton does, and how the chemistry between Silverman and McCartney is recreated with other actors. 

The release of the special anniversary edition of Back to the Future finally allowed us to see the original Marty McFly, Eric Stoltz. We had always heard of the existence of the Stoltz scenes but assumed this was just an urban legend or Zemeckis was keeping them locked away forever. But now they have been released for all us movie dorks to finally see and be all like, “Stoltz is too tall. It’s weird seeing someone other than Fox,” and the ilk. Seriously though, one of the highlights to the year just because we love Back to the Future.  

Finally, 2010 saw the triumphant return of Pee Wee Herman. Paul Rubens decided to bring his most beloved character back, and has done it in the same way he did it years ago, start with a stage show. We keep hoping he’ll tour with it and we’ll get the chance to see it live, but it sounds like HBO will be filming it again, so at least there is that. There was also talk at one point of another Pee Wee movie, with Judd Apatow at the helm, that would be epic, and probably less creepy than what Burton did. Welcome back Pee Wee! 

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Well, it has been a fun year. Thanks for sharing it with us, and we look forward to sharing a super mega fantastic 2011 with all of our CJS friends and family, and the new friends we will meet on the way. So celebrate the old, send us some emails, and look forward to more CJS. 

See ya in 2011… 

Dagger and Hart 

staff@crujonessociety.com 

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