CJS High Holiday: 4th Annual Food Sex or Cars Competition!

It’s that time of year, everyone!

Put on your thankful pants, bitches! Because Thanksgiving is here and that means the return of Food Sex or Cars! We return with 3 scenarios per day, and thanks to the involvement of 2-time FSC Winner Keithage, weirder choices than ever! The fun begins Monday and carries all the way through Thanksgiving and on to Black Friday.

For those of you who didn’t play last year, here’s how it works:

We give you a scenario presenting the option of eating something, having sex with someone, or driving something. Your job is to consider the three choices and decide which one is best. Would you rather eat the food, have sex with the celebrity, or own the car? Be sure to think about each one as critically as possible (and read carefully) because there is a right answer to each scenario presented. Simple as that. Type your answer into the comments section with an explanation of your choice, and we’ll tally the scores at the end of the week. Whoever has the highest score at the end of the week wins an awesome prize. Here’s a sample from last year in case you’re having a hard time grasping this concept:

Breakfast in bed VS John Krasinski VS A 2002 Acura Integra

Answer: John Krasinski

Last year’s explanation: Breakfast in bed is nice. The Acura brand is nice. John Krasinski sure seems nice. The answer is John Krasinski because in addition to seeming like a nice guy, he seems like a tender and attentive lover. That sounds the nicest.

Here are the rules:

* Answers must be submitted in the CJS Comments section, so no one can bitch about us not receiving an email, and everyone sees everyone else’s vote. Each scenario will have its own dedicated post, so type your answers in the corresponding comments section. And for the love of God, please use a consistent name.

* Lively discussion and explanations are welcome. They add to the flavor of the game and questioning the answers of other competitors may give you an edge over your competition. Or it may not. The point is: Have fun!

* But don’t be ambiguous about posting your answer. A simple declarative sentence like: “My choice is Angelina Jolie” will do. But feel free to type: “Final answer: Angelina Jolie” or something to that effect so there’s no mistake. Anything we can’t reasonably figure out will be disqualified.

* CJS has final say over each correct answer. Feel free to piss and moan about our choices, but we get final say.

* Winners receive a handsome prize. And what are they? We’re glad you asked as they all come from our very own online merch store, courtesy of Zazzle.com…

That’s what we said last year, but since we’re pragmatic chaps around here and fully realize no one gives a flying crap about any of our merchandise, we’re upping the stakes this year and giving you something you’ll actually be excited to win. And since we’re not shelling out multiple prizes this year (for once), there will be tiebreakers that are to be determined, should things come to that. What might these prizes be?

3rd Prize: $10 iTunes gift card

2nd Prize: $20 iTunes gift card

1st Prize: $50 iTunes gift card, and the option of writing your very own guest column on CJS

That’s right! In addition to downloading as many copies of Rebecca Black’s “Friday” as possible and whatever the hell else it is you kids seem to be into these days, you could pen your own thought-provoking tome and have your opinions shown to a reasonably consistent-sized audience We take our content seriously, so this isn’t any old chance to piss into the wind. It’s a chance to write something that ~~a lot of people will see~~ exists on the Internet.

Chaddymac took home the big prize two years ago and wrote this killer piece on WWF Entrance Themes. You could be the one in the CJS spotlight this year… Yes, even you, Mr. Doubting Thomas.

But you have to vote. Voting will close on Monday, November 28 at 6:00 pm MST. So get ready, put your thinking cap on, and get ready to sin.

Because CJS rocks your Thanksgiving week with Food Sex or Cars! Good luck everyone!