There are those who would say you can’t do an UberHappy Friday without doing a Happy Friday for the entire year. Those people don’t work at Cru Jones Society, and if they did we wouldn’t listen to them. Also they said you can’t put a Happy Friday up on a Thursday. Naysayers be damned! This is UberHappy Friday 2011!

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It’s a bit upsetting that in a year where we didn’t do a single Happy Friday is the year when Friday got a sweet ass anthem. A whole year when we didn’t hook our wagon to the Rebecca Black star. Well that time is over! We can’t sit idly by while she dominates YouTube, however we’re not sure how we can use this to our advantage. Instead we’ll just ram it down your ear throats again. So here’s a song everyone considered terrible yet couldn’t stop listening to, Rebecca Black’s “Friday.” If the vapid-ness of being a teenager is something you can no longer relate to, perhaps Katy Perry has more relatable lyrics to those blackout Friday nights of your twenty’s. Or maybe you just prefer Saturday night.

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2011 saw many beloved things of our past make triumphant return to the pop culture forefront. Such things like Brittany Spears and the McRib. That’s not entirely true, we don’t give a single fuck about the McRib. But we love the return of the Muppets (shocker, we know) and Beavis and Butthead. You know those times when classic things come back and it’s utter shit? That was not the case with either of these. In the case of the Muppets they not only had Jason Segel at the helm ensuring the awesomeicty, but they fully embraced the new culture and developed a strong presence on YouTube. As for Beavis and Butthead it feels like Mike Judge has been filled with all these ideas and social commentary and the only way he could get them out was through these teenage dumbasses.

Oh and we’re happy the Beastie Boys were able to overcome cancer and continue to make the same song they have been making for the past 10 years. Also “Fight for Your Right (Revisited)” was pretty fantastic.

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Back in 2009 we made some predictions about 2009, as we often do. While we covered just how wrong we were about nearly everything that year, or maybe just early as Dagger thought Amy Winehouse was gonna be done for then (more on that next week). But something that has found way too much rotation on the CJS office iPod due to this Predictions post has been Devastation Dave’s “Zip Zap Rap.” We’re also still pretty convinced Bill Cosby came up with the title. It would be way too selfish of us to keep this gem to ourselves, especially since one of you thinks you’re a legitimate share holder wants to be a part of every aspect of our operation without any of the work.

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A quick summary of the year in sports. The Green Bay Packers won the Super Bowl, then the NFL had a lockout. They cleared things up in time for a season and all NFL talk since has revolved around Tim Tebow. And that’s the year in football.

The Dallas Mavericks won the NBA Championship and outspoken millionaire owner Mark Cuban partied like an outspoken millionaire owner whose team just won a championship. Then the NBA had a labor dispute, which we enjoyed as it cut into the season. They started up a week ago or something. We don’t care.

The Boston Bruins won the Stanley Cup.  The only reason we’re happy about this is because they beat the tar out of the Vancouver Canucks, and more importantly made Roberto Luongo look like a little bitch.

The World Series was won by the St. Louis Cardinals. We don’t really have a joke, but fuck the Cardinals. Also the MLB was able to resolve their labor issues quickly and without compromising any of the season, off or regular. And it was announced the Houston Astros would be moving to the American League West in 2013. Also did we mention fuck the Cardinals?

The UFC was dominated by Jonny “Bones” Jones who seemed to fight every other month. He won the light heavyweight title, then defended it, twice, and in his spare time he stopped a mugging. He currently sits number 2 in the rankings behind Anderson Silva, who frankly seems unbeatable. Brock Lesnar was again attacked by his diverticulitis, and again overcame it and is set to make his return to the octagon tomorrow against Strikeforce heavyweight Alistair Overeem. Oh and the UFC absorbed Strikeforce and signed a deal with Fox. Big year for them.

Someone won tennis, someone else won golf,  a different person won the Tour de France, and no one won cars driving in circles.

And that was 2011 in sports. For more information consult espn.

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Japan was in the news after a giant tsunami hit, is that redundant? Are all tsunamis giant? Are there any tsunami experts who can clear this up? Anyway, the tsunami fucked up a lot of shit as there’s a lot going on on the crowded island. But the most disastrous thing it did was turn Japan’s nuclear plant into a time bomb just waiting to make Godzilla a reality. The Japanese eventually got the power plant back under control, we assume. The story just fizzled out and went away, or was overshadowed by some other news event. There’s no radioactive monsters, so at least there’s that. The most terrifying thing was this video that eventually surfaced, no pun intended. Seriously the most fucked up video we’ve seen from the tsunami. But we would expect nothing less from Japan than fucked up videos.

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Time for 90’s nostalgia in unusual places. Maybe this first one isn’t in an unusual place but rather exactly where one might expect it to be. Remember the cinematic masterpiece Space Jam? Of course you do. Who’s going to forget a movie with the Looney Tunes playing basketball with Michael Jordan? Turns out the original web page for the movie is still up and functioning. The best part of this, aside from the fact it’s Space Jam, is the reminder of how the internet used to be, and how we all clamored for it. 15 years ago this was a flashy and fun site. Now it’s adorable in its shittiness.

If you remember Space Jam, then surely you recall tween sensations Hanson. You probably remember them better as it was harder to avoid “Mmmbop” than it was to avoid Space Jam. Well, as you might expect, because you understand the concept of time passage, that these boys are all grown up. And what do grown-ups do? They attached their name to alcoholic products (and terrible hair). They’re releasing their own beer MMMHop. We can’t imagine what this would taste like, but we assume it’s like the song: bubbly and terrible.

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Have you ever looked at old photographs and thought, “Hmm, I should recreate that picture today, with the adult version of me?” No? Well, don’t feel too bad, it’s not a common thought. You’re probably normal for not thinking that. Fortunately someone has thought of that and here are the results .  It’s pretty interesting to see the way the people changed, or haven’t changed. A lot of times artists are assholes, but this is pretty cool.

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It has been shown one of the best ways to learn something is to use a created song as a mnemonic device. It’s even better when it can rhyme. The brain has an easier time making connections when things rhyme, that’s just science. Wendy’s understood this and decided to use it in a training video. Oh and it was a training video in the 80’s which meant the best way to rhyme in a song is by rapping. This has all been a setup to say that Wendy’s made a rap video about how to make a burger. When the burger patties start singing is one of the reasons we’re glad we don’t use recreational drugs.

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One of the best things about being a wrestling fan was/is the action figures. For Hart it was a perfect bridge between He-Man action figures and Ninja Turtles. For Dagger it was something entirely different. But as impressive as Dagger’s collection is, it has nothing on what this man has amassed. It is incredible what this man does, buying action figures every other week. Or maybe we just have better will power. We hit that toy aisle anytime we’re in a Target or Wal-Mart or where ever, but rarely do we leave the store with a toy. Or maybe we’re just too picky as we’re only looking for those wrestler’s we loved from our youth like Koko B. Ware or the L.O.D. Then there is that rare and awesome occasion when Dagger shows up to your office and unexpectedly hands you an Andy Kaufman, in full neck brace and wrestling robe attire, action figure.

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Sometimes Dagger’s cats make their way to the CJS office and it is exactly like this.

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Here’s a fun game that should be called “How Much Time You Spend on the Internet.” They are all screen shots from popular memes with the character or characters removed and you’re to name the meme. It gives you a good idea about how much attention you pay to details. That keyboard looks so sad without the cat playing it.

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Some day we hope to be able to have the staff and the time to create a comprehensive list of all the Top 10 things of the year. But until that day comes around we’ll just read what Time does this pass it along to you guys. When it comes to internet writing, we’re the 1% and Time is the 99%. Or something. That was our weak ass attempt at topical political humor. We’ll stick to pop culture jokes. So a guy walks into a theater and says, “What is this crap, Green Lantern?” Huh, am I right guys? Ok, we’ll stick to no jokes.

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Demotivator!

They couldn’t even choose sexy legs.

Happy Friday everyone! Also Thursday. And so long 2011!

Hart & Dagger