Cru Jones Society

My high school once did an over-night lock-in. Essentially, we spent the night in the school, it was like a sleepover with dozens of people. It wasn’t the sleepover aspect that intrigued me; rather it was being inside the school at a time when I normally wouldn’t be. I felt like I was breaking some kind of rule. That was the kind of dorky goody-good I was.

This sensation is something I have carried with me. A few times I have had to work overnight at my retail job and I was actually excited to go to work. Or now if I’m at the office after the sun has set. I chalk that one up more to being 12 stories up and seeing the city glow. Whatever the case may be, I just enjoy being in place after dark that I’m normally in during the day.

Because of this I can’t wait for a zombie apocalypse forcing me to possibly spend the night in some place other than a house. I never understood mobilizing instead of taking refuge in a situation like that. I would hold up somewhere as long as I could.

These are my top choices.

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I love being married. It’s the best thing I’ve ever done. But I would never insult you by droning on for 2,000 schmaltzy words about new levels of real emotional intimacy and being part of something greater than yourself or anything like that even though all that shit’s true.

That’s not what you came here for. Ostensibly, you came here for amusement and/or to laugh. So, instead of reheating every crappy relationship article you’ve ever read and nauseating you with esoteric personal details about my life with Lady E, I’m going to share with you 5 Surprising Ways Marriage Improves Your Life. If you’re like 99% of guys everywhere, these are actual real things that happen after the big “I do.” And they shocked the hell out of me.

So here we go… Continue Reading »

Since Hart took his turn looking at his 2011 Predictions, I felt compelled to do the same in CJS BONUS WEEKEND CONTENT! Inside are my predictions, which you can also find right here, and a little roundup of how we did.

Let’s get to it! Continue Reading »

In 2011 I went rafting for the first time, I swam in the Arkansas River, and I got my bachelor’s degree. Based on these accomplishments I would say it was a pretty good year. But the real gauge to how well the year went comes from the results of the predictions I made at the start of the year. How can I judge a year based only on the things I never expected to happen? What kind of life is that to live? That is hog wash and I refuse to accept it! Continue Reading »

More than 4,500 nice words (or not, if you’re Gaddhafi, Bin Laden, or Al Davis) for 41 different entries await you in this year’s CJS Cavalcade of Death. Once again, not one of the people any of our Regulars or staff picked last year bit it, so we’re cancelling this year’s Ghoul Pool mostly because we all suck at it, but also because it makes us feel icky picking dead celebrities in public.

So, we’ll honor the dead the way we always do around here – by having Dagger write barely coherent thoughts about how he obliquely has some obscure memory about each of these fucking people. Strap in kids, we got a lot of dead folks to wade through. Continue Reading »