Being back means you get all the CJS goodies you once grew accustomed to receiving on a weekly basis, and of course that means the collection of internet goodies we affectionately call Happy Friday. We’ve got all the CJS standards: Tarantino, Youtube videos, and of course BASEBALL!!! All in convenient clickable links to help you waste those last few hours of the work week. So remember how you missed us and click away!

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Let’s kick this off with one of the funniest things we found on the internet this week. We’re all familiar with how terrible the comments on Youtube videos are, but there is gold within those terrible comments. That is if you take those comments and read them aloud. There’s really nothing else to say, just watch the video already.

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It’s very likely that we have stated our disdain for all things soccer, and moaned about how boring and lame it is. That’s not our fault, and that isn’t soccer’s fault. It’s the fault of American broadcasters. At least according to Christopher Medley. He makes his case in this video that soccer doesn’t receive the same kind analysis as the big sports in America, and that just by adding that aspect more Americans would enjoy the sport. If you think about how much attention curling received during the last Olympics you realize it is exactly for the reasons Christopher points out. Well that and the yelling from the Swedish Women’s team.

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Still not interested in the world wide phenomena known as soccer? Then how about good old fashioned Civil War reenactment? Why are there Civil War reenactment? Do other countries do this with their wars? Guess it would be weird to reenact WWII, “Alright Steve, you’re Poland.” “God damnit!” Also harder to reenact a war that involved a lot of tanks and planes and boats. War reenactment is very much an American thing to do. Here’s a list of other classic American things to do, they’re not all as stupid as Civil War reenactment, some of them are, but not all of them.

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Another quintessential American experience is Spring TrainingYeah that’s going on right now which means in about a month we get our daily baseball fix. This is the year the Toddfather is passing on the reigns of the team to everyone’s favorite, and if you say he’s not your favorite then you sir or madam are a fucking liar, Troy Tulowitzki. Tulo is relishing the role and we are amped for the season! Is it April yet?

Also in baseball news not related to the Rockies, Ryan Braun tested positive for steroids, then fought, then it was dismissed and he’s allowed to play. For a better synopsis check out this piece.

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Disregardless of what you may believe, “irregardless” is actually a word, at least according to this editor at Merriam-Webster, and you know she’s legit by the amount of big words she uses in this video. Antigardless of this information, it is still a nonstandard word and any use of it will force us into our usual “Prefix Off.” You’ve been warned.

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This link comes from CJS regular Corriander and it’s another reason to love Aaron Rodgers. Which can sometimes be difficult when you want to hate the Packers so much solely because a friend is so stupidly passionate about them. Anyway, this shit’s funny. Also if you come across any internet articles or web pages you think we or your fellow readers when enjoy then send them our way to staff@crujonessociety.com

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Unfortunately, if one of those other Packers decides he has had enough of Rodgers’ shenanigans they may soon be able to do something about it, without harming their precious quarterback. There’s new technology that is going to ruin all the fun that comes with photobombing by allowing an easy option to remove unwanted folk from the picture. This is not the technological advances we want! Wait, is there an option that will allow you to remove only the clothes of the people in the picture? No? I’m a perv? Well, then fuck your technology.

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You might think game shows are all fun and, well, games, but apparently that’s not the case, at least for the contestants. Seems like there is a lot of work and suffering to play a game.

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This is a warning, there will be new, uh, music(?) from Limp Bizkit. Someone thought it was a good idea to sign them to their record label and encourage them. This is an act that should, nay, must be punished!

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We love the smell of napalm in the morning. Ok that’s not true, we’re not even sure what napalm smells like, or how its smell varies at different points throughout the day. It just doesn’t come up often in our suburban lifestyle. But here’s a photo assignment on things people like the smell of, and we are familiar with most of these and even enjoy some of them. It’s just that “I love the smell of grapefruit body butter in the morning,” isn’t quite as cool to say.

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Something we love like a billion times more than pictures of things that supposedly smell good are the films of Quentin Tarantino. However we don’t always have time to watch them, so we settle for a super cut of all the “from below” shots in his films. One could probably make a dozen more different super cuts based solely on the various reoccurring elements of Tarantino films. I’m sure the foot fetish websites have their share of Tarantino foot shots. Gross.

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If you’ve been following us on Facebook or Twitter, or recall the days of yore then you know about the return of the Monday Confessional. If you are unfamiliar with this, then this must be your first time here, welcome. This week we want to know: What is the best meal you’ve ever had in your life? Tell us everything about it, where were you? What was the occasion? Who were you with? And what this meal so great? Send your responses to staff@crujonessociety.com by Sunday and read everyone’s responses on Monday!

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The Oscars were on Sunday, and today’s Friday so all that Oscar shit is old balls news now. But in case you missed anything, or are just interested in some good old snarky Oscar humor here’s Drew Magary’s live blog from the event.

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And what’s a Happy Friday without a Demotivator?

 

It’s great to be back everyone!

Hart & Dagger