Cru Jones Society

The Cru Jones Society launched on March 30, 2008. Our mission is to make you laugh, make you think, and if all goes well, aid you in discovering comic nirvana by causing you to shoot beer out your nose while reading. That’s the ultimate. We’re diligent in that pursuit with every post you see. For more background on the name of the site as well as our general philosophy, click this link which is the first article ever posted on this site.

This is not your standard run-of-the-mill blog. You won’t find us bloviating day after day about the trivialities of our mundane little lives. Too many blogs fixate on that which is banal, trite, and just plain uninteresting. No one seems willing to put time and effort into their posts, which, due to the never-ending storage capacity of digital files, will exist in perpetuity. If you’ve spent any time perusing the common blog sites or social networks, the majority of what you find is either incessant navel-gazing or pointless celebrity gossip.

We promise not to bore you with either.

The Cru Jones Society features essays, satire, fiction, commentary and a variety of blog posts designed to entertain you. The particulars of our lives are interesting to a small subset of our audience, which is why you won’t find our real names anywhere on this site. While certainly details of our personal lives will surface from time to time (the nature of authorship), they only serve as a means of understanding whatever we happen to be analyzing at the time.

We’re here for yours and our own amusement. Please feel free to comment, contribute and email us with any feedback. We’re always open to debating you, and we’re rarely lacking for a response. We hope you frequent our page often and you find this site a valuable tool for wasting time at work, killing time between classes, or decompressing on the weekends.

Before you check out the rest of our posts, here’s a little about us:

E Dagger: Might kill you for claiming you like Tea Leoni, Dakota Fanning, or the movie “Patch Adams.” Loves Amstel Light and peanut butter. Renamed his girlfriend’s cat “buttfore.” Has an embarrassingly large collection of WWF/WWE VHS tapes. If asked, will claim that he likes the Foo Fighters even though he doesn’t. “Just seems like something I should like,” he says.

Lee S. Hart: Has worn large mutton chops since before they were popular and continues to do so even though they are once again not popular. Loves The Clash. Hates The Beatles. Will provoke fights at parties on this topic for fun. Wants for his own gin and tonic making robot. Wears sandals with Crown Royal logo. Would probably carry Milan Hejduk’s baby if asked (or able).

Senor Limon: Once called a woman whose number he found written on the wall of a port-a-potty… a woman actually answered. Hates when people refer to Superman as “Supes.” Likes ketchup, but hates tomatoes. Once spent a drunken night quoting Long Duk Dong on a playground and shouting in a sound proof booth that turned out to be a mere bus shelter. Has attended space camp. Is hot.

Feel free to email us with any questions, comments, or article ideas.

In this brave new world of Web 2.0, we’re not limited to one simple website, no, no, no. We’re all over the place, by crackie, so check us out in the following spots…

If you haven’t joined our Facebook group yet, please do so. We’ve got links to each new article, some of our favorites from the past, and a prompt for each new Monday Confessional. It’s an easy way to keep up with all things Cru Jones Society. Besides, how many of you spend the better of Facebook anyway?

We’ve been hesitant to join the Twitter revolution, but we’ve seen its growth and its impact is not to be denied. We tend be quite verbose around here, so in that sense, Twitter can be extremely limiting. But we had an epiphany: Since Twitter is limited to 140 characters, and a standard text message is only 160 characters, think of Twitter as a way of getting in on the goofy non-sequitirs the CJS Staff sends to each other on a daily basis. Just think how much brighter your day will be when you receive a Tweet from Hart like the text message he sent that read: “The mayor of Lakewood looks like the other guy from Bosom Buddies” or this gem from Limon: “1.21 Jiggowatts, Marty!” It’s bite-sized CJS goodness to get you between articles. If you follow us, we’ll likely follow you too.

A number of you asked for it, you got it. We’ve opened our own Zazzle gallery and now you too can own Cru Jones Society merchandise. We have t-shirts, hoodies, stickers, and a whole boatload of other crap that shows your love outside the ‘net of your favorite online time waster. If there’s something CJS branded you like that we don’t have (like a skateboard deck or necktie – seriously), just ask us and we’ll make it.

OK dudes, let’s walk this sucker!