Cru Jones Society

The week has finally come to an end, oh that’s why it’s called the weekend! And our weekend is filled with a birthday party, putt-putt, a bbq, some baseball, and pretty girls. Sounds absolutely lovely. We can’t wait for it. But first we have to put in a few more hours with the man. Doesn’t mean we can’t waste some of those hours with scary fighters, 3-D boobs, and some outer space insects. Let’s put the spaghetti in the machine already. Continue Reading »

Since we’re talking about summer movies here, it must be summer, right? Well, it’s actually the middle of May – fucking Hollywood. It’s not even Memorial Day, but Iron Man 2 is already out which means no one respects the seasons anymore. Whatever. Regardless of what season it actually is, we asked you: What summer movie are you most looking forward to, and which one is most likely to suck balls? We answer this week’s (temporarily) final Confessional question, and then our Regulars chime in. Let’s head to the local kinetoscope house, shall we? Continue Reading »

The 136^th running of the Kentucky Derby happened this weekend and around here that is a holy day. After a day of drinking, snacking and imaginary betting we are happy to bring to you our annual Kentucky Derby Awards. This year the ridiculousness was flowing like our bourbon and we captured most of it to share with you. And now our round up of the filler surrounding the most exciting two minutes in sports. It won’t make up for the money you lost on Lookin At Lucky, it should at least make your morning less work filled. Continue Reading »

It’s Derby season, which means we get to experience the only thing with more ridiculous names than yachts, race horses. And since it would be a long ass time until we would be able to own a horse of our own, we decided to throw our hat into the naming rings via the internet. This week we asked: What name would you give your race horse? Now let’s get to the names, so we can make our bets. Continue Reading »

Every year there are a handful of sporting events that are the crème de le crème. Events that are more important and more special than the games played on any other given day. So this week we asked: What one sporting event do you want to see before you die? We got a nice collection of events and manage to cover all the bases, except soccer, but who really cares about soccer? Continue Reading »

Everyone has that one thing they have oddly specific knowledge about. For the most part this information would only come in handy when attending your local trivia night. Well we looked into the “What If Crystal Ball” and found a fun little scenario for you and your specific knowledge. If you were given the opportunity to teach a class, what is the one subject you would be best equipped to teach? We got your responses and put together a class schedule. Now grab your books and get to class. Continue Reading »

This is the true story of five strangers forced into a tiny Confessional booth to have their answers recorded and find out what happens when people stop being polite and start getting real by answering the question: If you could be a contestant on any reality show, what would it be?

The results follow, and I promise that none of us will spin off to participate in any inane challenge shows or host MTV’s “The Grind.” Although, no matter whether you’re gay or straight, we’re willing to bet you can’t get enough of that Eric Nies. Let’s find out if he’s in here further. Here’s this week’s Confessional. Continue Reading »

Welcome to a totally tubular Monday Confessional here at the gnarly, radical, and totally righteous Cru Jones Society. This week we’re totally 80s and we asked you: What is an 80s (or early 90s) fad you totally participated in? Since we’re based off the best 80s movie of all-time, this question is right up our alley, and apparently it’s in four of our readers’ wheelhouses too. So pop in your favorite Real Life single, and let’s revisit the day-glo paradise where cocaine, materialism, and really fucked up hairstyles ruled the day. And if you don’t like it, bag your face. Continue Reading »

This Sunday begins the best stretch of the year. Sunday is Major League Baseball’s Opening Day, which is as close as it gets to a sports religious experience. Just because we love stating the obvious around here, and because we just plain old feel like reminding you that we dedicated every Wednesday for four months to reviewing 18 different baseball movies, the Cru Jones Society loves baseball.

We particularly love the beginning of baseball season because while the weather is still working its way back to decent after shedding the winter blahs, you’re filled with nothing but hope and expectation. Your team is still very much alive, and even if you’re a miserable Pittsburgh Pirates fan, every new season comes with at least a glimmer of hope. So, it is with that hopeful mindset that we asked this question: What are your predictions for the 2010 MLB season? We answer, you answer, and at the end of the week, it’s time to play ball! So let’s step up to the plate and swing away. Continue Reading »

Welcome to the CJS Hot Seat. Since we went ahead and appropriated one old Sportscenter segment for our use, might as well borrow another one. Inside, Hart and Dagger have agreed to a Q&A session where nothing is out-of-bounds, you must answer the question in front of you, and questions will go on as long as they have to. It’s sort of like the early version of UFC, but between two candy asses, and if sparring sessions were conducted over miles of fiberoptic cables. Continue Reading »

It’s the start of our Anniversary Week! And like all good anniversary parties we’re looking back at the good times and our favorite memories. We’ve started this week by asking you: What is your favorite CJS article or articles we have posted? We have a fun walk down memory lane and as usual we’re at the head of the pack and some of our readers fill out the tour group. So hit 88 MPH, and let’s go through the past archives. Continue Reading »

Welcome to the first ever edition of CJS Fact or Fiction. We ripped off this format from 411mania.com’s various sections, who, in turn, had ripped off an old Sportscenter segment that no longer airs. It’s the internet. Plagiarism~! Woo hoo!

To celebrate the inaugural CJS Fact or Fiction (as well as excuse to get cockeyed drunk – St. Patrick’s Day), your heralded CJS founders E Dagger and Lee S. Hart tackle six statements regarding alcohol consumption. Can a man drink a mojito with confidence? Who’s more annoying: beer snobs or wine snobs? Do margaritas actually suck? These questions and more await in our brand new CJS feature.

Pour the drinks, and let’s get started! Continue Reading »

One of the favorite pastimes around CJS is partaking in a drink or several, as it has been well documented. We know we are not alone in this past time, and we are always curious about your drinking habits. And with all the choices of drinks out there these days, we asked: What are you drinking right now? Obviously not at this moment, unless you’re on vacation or have the most awesome job ever; but currently when you do have a drink what you ordering? We’ve got the first round and the following ones are on our readers. Continue Reading »

The annual CJS rendezvous was one society member shy as Hart had obligations that prohibited him from making the usually splendid trip. And while Dagger, Lady E, and Senor Limon were living it up without a care in the world, Hart was stuck in his craptacular routine. We decided to use today to share memories from the trip. Hart has supplied us with a comparison about his weekend to allow us to fully appreciate a good vacation. Continue Reading »

The month of March usually means the annual CJS rendezvous in Tucson, unfortunately one of us couldn’t make it this year. But it did get us thinking about the places we visit every year without fail. And that got us wondering where some of your annual trips take you. So we asked: Where is one place you visit every year without fail? We received some great responses that take us all across the country. So grab your bags and let’s go! Continue Reading »

We say a fond farewell to the Olympics here at the Cru Jones Society for two reasons: 1) For two weeks every other year, the country comes together and watches the same thing allowing for collective conversation unparalleled in the dry desert of fractured experience that happens in the interim; and 2) Generating daily content that everyone can relate to for two weeks is ridiculously easy. We’ll miss that.

Thankfully, right on the heels of these enormously entertaining Olympics is the cultural juggernaut known as the Oscars. Vacuous, petty, borderline evil people will debate about which celebrities looked worst on the red carpet while the film industry gives itself a big fat self blowjob on national television for all the great work it’s done this year (All About Steve notwithstanding).  So, to kick your anticipation into high gear, we asked you to look back at Academy Award history and share with us: What is your favorite Best Picture recipient of all-time? We got outstanding turnout in this week’s Confessional, so let’s not delay any further. Here are your picks for the best of the best. Continue Reading »

We mentioned when we started our Olympic coverage that if you had something interesting about the Olympic you would to share to drop us a line. We are now happy to present to you an article from one of our readers who took us up on our offer. Please enjoy our special guest columnist, CJS regular Corriander.

Tight pants?  There are no tight pants in snowboarding!

Uniform styles have always been a hot topic in all sports and the Olympics are no exception.  There was a ton of attention directed at Michael Phelps’ new Speedo at the Beijing games.  Now we have our own controversies for the Vancouver games and some of them are just ridiculous.  Think that they have something to do with new technology (like the Speedo) or with competitive advantage?  If so, you are wrong. Continue Reading »

We remain balls deep in Olympics coverage here at CJS, and the time has rolled around again for your involvement. Last week we asked you about your favorite Olympic events, so this week we changed it up and asked: What Olympic event always seems like a good idea, but ends up disappointing you?

Think of this question as the once every four years cousin to making microwave popcorn, watching “The Soup,” or checking out Japanese porn – y’know, just to change it up for once – you think you’re going to have a great time, but just walk away unhappy, dissatisfied, and/or disgusted. Our answers are below, yours below that, and the slackasses who join us in the comments section all the way at the bottom.

So let’s make like we’re all virgins again and get disappointed. Only this time, we won’t have any sticky mess to clean up and we’ll be surrounded by awkward European people. What are we waiting for? Continue Reading »

Welcome to the kickoff of your CJS Olympics coverage. Two years ago, we rocked the site with coverage of the Beijing games, and we’re going to do the same this year. Check out the bottom of this Confessional to see how you can get in on the fun. But for now, let’s get to the topic at hand, and the perfect way to begin our Olympic coverage: What event are you most looking forward to and why?

So enjoy the opening ceremonies, and stay tuned for two full weeks of Olympic goodness. Continue Reading »

Please welcome to the Cru Jones Society, the beautfiul, talented, highly acerbic, Redhead herself, Ms. Erika Napoletano. Please give her lots of love in the comments section, and do yourself a favor by checking out all of her excellent work which she lists at the bottom of this post.

Jesus Christ – is it really Valentine’s Day again?

I hate Valentine’s Day. Haaaaaates it, preeeeecious. In my humble opinion, it’s the most ridiculous pseudo-holiday in existence (right behind Administrative Assistant’s Day… seriously). We clamor for dinner reservations and bitch, whine, moan and complain when our true-love-du-jour fails to deliver the one thing we so desperately wanted (which is inevitably the one thing we never told them we wanted but expected them to read our minds and figure out). In all honesty, V-Day is nothing more than a clearance sale for Christmas under a different name. Sure, the candy’s all heart-shaped, but the wrapping paper is still red. There’s still a chubby superhero mascot, but instead of an old fat guy who likes to play with midgets, it’s a violent cherub toting a bow and arrow. Yeah, yeah, we know “love hurts,” but do you really have to shoot me in the ass each year and remind me?

So guys, sit down. The Redhead speaks. We all know Valentine’s Day is ridiculous. I’m going to give you eight girl-proof tips for avoiding coming off as a total douchebag to your sweetie. Not everyone will approve of my tactics and it’s possible I’m going to pioneer reverse misogyny, but fuck it. I’m tired of the whiny broads that make the rest of us look bad. This one’s for you, guys. Continue Reading »