Author Archive

Nonsense

Five Places To Wait Out A Zombie Apocalypse

My high school once did an over-night lock-in. Essentially, we spent the night in the school, it was like a sleepover with dozens of people. It wasn’t the sleepover aspect that intrigued me; rather it was being inside the school at a time when I normally wouldn’t be. I felt like I was breaking some kind of rule. That was the kind of dorky goody-good I was.

This sensation is something I have carried with me. A few times I have had to work overnight at my retail job and I was actually excited to go to work. Or now if I’m at the office after the sun has set. I chalk that one up more to being 12 stories up and seeing the city glow. Whatever the case may be, I just enjoy being in place after dark that I’m normally in during the day.

Because of this I can’t wait for a zombie apocalypse forcing me to possibly spend the night in some place other than a house. I never understood mobilizing instead of taking refuge in a situation like that. I would hold up somewhere as long as I could.

These are my top choices.

Continue Reading »

Holiday

Hart’s 2011 Predictions Results Show

In 2011 I went rafting for the first time, I swam in the Arkansas River, and I got my bachelor’s degree. Based on these accomplishments I would say it was a pretty good year. But the real gauge to how well the year went comes from the results of the predictions I made at the start of the year. How can I judge a year based only on the things I never expected to happen? What kind of life is that to live? That is hog wash and I refuse to accept it! Continue Reading »

Friday, Holiday

UberHappy Friday: 2011 Year In Review

There are those who would say you can’t do an UberHappy Friday without doing a Happy Friday for the entire year. Those people don’t work at Cru Jones Society, and if they did we wouldn’t listen to them. Also they said you can’t put a Happy Friday up on a Thursday. Naysayers be damned! This is UberHappy Friday 2011! Continue Reading »

Work

Things I’m Tired Of Hearing From Co-Workers

I have noticed many people seem to have a problem with silence, and they seek to ensure the silence doesn’t exist. This usually entails talking, but unfortunately most people aren’t very apt at the whole talking thing. Sure they are capable of putting words together and forming complete thoughts, but it usually doesn’t entail more than that. Some people seem to be so threatened by the silence they have pocketed select phrases to keep the silence from showing up. I for one am tired of hearing these stupid little phrases, and that fact that people can’t just let the silence linger. Let’s please clean up the work place and eliminate the desire to talk about or say these stupid ass things. Continue Reading »

Music

I’ll Sing Along FOUR-ever

Earlier this year I talked about the amazing punk rock shows I have taken in up to that point. “Actually this has been one of the best concert years for me as the bands I have wanted to see not only tore shit up, but were on tour with some fairly awesome bands.” That’s what I had said and we were only half way through the year. I also went to the Westword Music Showcase as well as seeing Rancid with Blink 182. Both incredible. But none of these would even compare to the Bouncing Souls recent visit to the Mile High City.

Every year in the Souls hometown they play their “Home for Holidays” show. Something many bands do, not a big deal. Last year, or the year before, I would be terrible at writing someone’s biography, the Bouncing Souls decided to try something different and wanted to play songs they haven’t played in some time. So over the four night holiday show they played all their albums start to finish in order. They apparently enjoyed themselves and the audience must have as well because the Bouncing Souls opted to do this same gimmick in 6 other cities across the nation, and Denver was chosen as one of those cities.

This seemed like a rare opportunity and I didn’t want to miss any of it. So I bought tickets to all four shows. I wanted to see every song, what? How do you see a song? I also thought this is probably one of only two bands I would spend four nights watching. The other being Rancid, though they have like a million more songs and that would be rough. Continue Reading »

Music

Top Five Most Played Songs On Hart’s iTunes

In most cases I couldn’t care less about the number of times I do things. I used to count the number of times I’ve seen bands, but as I started to see some bands more and more, in addition to my problem with numbers, I gave up. But recently I have become totally aware of the number of plays counter found on iTunes. I was drawn into it, completely fascinated by it. Then I got angry as I noticed it would go up even if I only listened to the last 15 seconds of a song. I do that a lot when I am making mixes. It’s important to me how a song ends and how that ending works with the start of the next song. I’m sure there some psychological disorder I can classify that behavior under.

Anyway, I started using this information when I made mixes. When I chose a song I would see how often I played that song and if I was close to too much and should choose a different song. I think that’s more of that disorder coming to the surface. Eventually this led me to figuring out which songs I have played the most. I was a little surprised by the results. Not so much in the fact that these are bad songs, but more in they are not really the ones I would have expected. Though if they were what I expected, then I probably wouldn’t have written about them.

So I now give you the Top Five Most Played Songs on Hart’s iTunes. Continue Reading »

Field Trip

Field Trip: Seattle, WA

Not that I really need an excuse to go somewhere, but it’s nice when someone offers one. That’s just what I got when a friend decided to have her wedding in Seattle and invite me. Between work and school it’s hard for me to take a trip, but this was one of my oldest and dearest friends, and the pacific-northwest is awesome. So I checked the box marked “Attending,” or whatever the actual  wording was, then worked my ass off so I could enjoy three days of school-free fun. And I did enjoy those three days! Continue Reading »

Essay, Field Trip

Look What Happened

Sometimes I think it seems like only yesterday that I was in high school doing high school things. It only seems that way though. Turns out it was actually like ten years ago and I know this because I have a concept of time and can do simple arithmetic, but also because I just attended my ten year high school reunion. And contrary to what TV has shown me for years, it was not in our high school gym adorn with banners and some shitty band playing all those shitty songs designed to remind us of a time that once was, though Kristatothemax did force the jukebox to play The Darkness, which is kind of the same.

So the reunion was not what I expected. Or maybe it was. I really didn’t know what to expect. So I threw on my letter jacket and headed to the Wynkoop brew pub ready to embrace whichever weirdos decided to venture out as well. Continue Reading »

Movie

If I Could Make Any Movie

In a recent post by Dagger he described the experience of working on a film for the 48 Film Project. In this post he mentioned how there was that one guy who sucked. First I would like to say that Dagger was 100% accurate in his assessment of this individual, that’s not the point here. I think it was after the first meeting Dagger attended he was telling me about these people and he brought up how this guy who sucks said if he could make any movie it would be “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” This struck me as a stupid choice, more on that in a bit. What really stuck out in my mind was if I could make any movie what would it be? I have been thinking about this question off and on for the past year. I think I may have finally found my answer. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

Ponderings

I had these thoughts I wanted to put down, but they weren’t long enough for their own individual articles, yet they felt too long to be classified as Random Musings. So I wrote them out, put them together, threw in a few Random Musings, and have dubbed it Ponderings. Though looking at it now feels like it should read Ponderings, by Jack Handey. How cool would that be if we could get him to write with us?

The answer: Totes Magotes cool!

But he doesn’t, so today you get Ponderings, by Lee Hart. Continue Reading »

Television

Many Merry Years of Merry Melodies

 

I don’t want to become one of those “old guys” who complains about the shit quality of these modern cartoons. Oh they lack this or that or the animation looks it was drawn by monkeys, the monkeys who were supposed to by writing Shakespeare. I don’t want to be that adult, but it’s not easy. Oh sure there are some top notch ones late night like “Archer” or “Futurama,” but what about when it’s Saturday morning and need something to go along with brightly colored cereal I’m eating? Or Saturday afternoon when I want to watch cartoons?

So in my hunt for cartoons I came across the latest incarnation of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and the rest of the Looney Tunes gang in what they are calling “The Looney Tunes Show.” I was surprised by what this show was, more on that in a bit. As I thought about it though I should have not been surprised. Over the past two decades Warner Bros. has taken their beloved characters and put them in shows that were different than their classic shtick. Let’s do a run down. Continue Reading »

Television

5 Shows I’m Watching Right Now

It’s summer time. That means fun fun fun in the sun. Drinking on the patio until the moon goes down (or comes up on work nights). At least these apply to those who aren’t trying to finish a degree program. During a lot of the times I should be basking in the awesomeness that is summer, I have been sitting at this computer researching all sorts of psychological issues then typing up thousands of words about them.

I’ll be done soon though, and despite the lack of sun light, and what that last little bit sounded like, I am not that bitter. Actually I am a bit content because this also means I am able to watch the fine summer time television programming. And no this isn’t sarcasm because most shows are in rerun mode. There are a few new shows and some shows have a summer season (or their fall season starts early, whatever). Well, whatever the case may be I present to you the 5 shows I have been watching this summer, especially lately as my beloved Rockies have begun to upset me. Continue Reading »

Essay, Movie

The Importance Of Movies

Last summer debate raged over the ending of the movie Inception. I suppose before I go any further I am obligated to inform you of a possible spoiler alert. I will go ahead and just preface this by saying there are several of those throughout this article. Everything I’m going to talk about will be at least a year old. It’s not like I’m telling you how Harry Potter ends (though I’m sure most of you know that), or the big twist in The Zookeeper, or that JT and Mila Kunis can’t just be friends with benefits and end up falling in love. There is a real possibility I am not mentioning anything you haven’t read somewhere else on the internet, but just in case I have warned you and I apologize if I ruin a movie for you.

Now, back to Inception. The end of the movie had everyone wondering if Leo was in a dream or if it was reality. They were picking at every detail to help their case; the house was different, the kids were in the same clothes, the clock read 3:07 which can’t exist in dreams. Any kind of bullshit that helped them to find an answer. All of this bogged down every internet movie site and annoyed the hell out of everyone! Even the film’s writer and director Christopher Nolan who eventually said there is no answer. That’s just the end of the movie. Now shut up. I’m paraphrasing.

I figured Nolan would know what he’s talking about so I dropped it and moved on with my life. Then fast forward to the point when Inception makes its way to my TV and I watch it. I try to just enjoy the story and the amazing effects but I can’t stop myself from picking up little things that may tell me what really happens at the end. I can’t help it. But I’ve noticed I am not the only one. Continue Reading »

Booze

A Drink In The Springs

Colorado Springs is home to the United States Air Force Academy, a college hockey team I hate, some good friends of CJS and apparently some quality beers, well mostly. That’s right, Keithage and I made another entry on our Colorado Brewery Tour bed post. This trip took us south of our home and involved only three of the eight breweries in the general Colorado Springs area. Turns out we developed some of that responsibility stuff our parents always get us about. That and our lives are stupid busy lately and we don’t have the pleasure of taking more than an afternoon for our alcohol hobby. Alcohol hobby sounds so much better than alcoholism.

With a plan in tact, Keithage and I piled into the truck and headed on down. He left the fiancé home to do wedding stuff, or so he says. I think he was kicked out for offering less than ideal input. “Programs? Oh sure, just write the things on there and fold ‘em. I used to make those for the high school theater productions. They’ll be done in no time!” I can’t say that was the actual dialogue, but I bet it’s close. Continue Reading »

Music

The Punk Rawk Shows Of 2011

We ain’t got no place to go/so let’s go to the punk rock show/darling take me by the hand/we’re gonna see a punk rock band/there’s no use in TV shows/radio or rodeo/I wanna get into the crowd/I wanna hear it played real loud

I may have expressed once or twice my love for punk rock as well as my predilection for live music. So when I get the chance I always try to combine these two loves, and so far this year has helped me feed this addiction quite well. Actually this has been one of the best concert years for me as the bands I have wanted to see not only tore shit up, but were on tour with some fairly awesome bands.

I have been so blown away by these shows that I just want to sing their praises, and hopefully convince you to check out some of these bands next time they swing through, unless you buying a ticket somehow keeps me from getting one, then fuck you, you stay home.

Now, as the wracked with grammatical errors MxPx song suggests, let’s go to the punk rock show! Continue Reading »

Television

Watching People Watch TV

There is no denying the impact television plays within our lives. People often gather around it with friends, or discuss the latest episode, some people even use it as a sleep aid.  So it only seems natural that television itself would use television within the shows it shows. This is a device called a show within a show. These would be things like “Itchy and Scratchy” on “The Simpsons,” “TGS with Tracy Jordan” on “30 Rock,” or “The Muppet Show” on “The Muppet Show.”

This is a concept that has been used nearly as long as television has been around. I think Dick Van Dyke’s character on “Dick Van Dyke” worked on a television show, or he worked in advertising. I really can’t remember, though I did watch that show a lot as a kid, thinking about it now I am not sure why. Anyway, television existed which meant people on television had to be aware of it.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the shows within shows, mostly about if I would watch the show. “Itchy and Scratchy?” most likely. “TGS?” Probably. “The Muppet Show?” Doi! But my brain is not satisfied with simply considering if I would watch the show or not, so I pieced together some of the other thoughts about a few of the shows within shows that have sprung to mind often. Now sit back, relax, and don’t touch that dial. Continue Reading »

Essay

How It Feels: The First Tattoo

It’s the Sixth of May and you’re probably asking, “Where the hell is Hart’s annual Cinco de Mustache post?” Well, it’s half-assedly right here. It’s not to say I didn’t grow a stache, because I did and it has driven my female friends away in, well, droves. Keithage’s, though, caught the attention of one waitress last weekend. She wouldn’t leave our table alone, and was all about him while practically ignoring me. She even took his order then left without taking mine. Oh well, it just meant I could watch the hockey game and not pretend I cared about what she had to say.

Anyway, I don’t really know what more I can write about this holiday every year. I’ll start brainstorming and plan something for next year, but for this all you get is that picture above and a song.

I thought I would instead talk about another change my body recently went through. Continue Reading »

Movie

The Planes, Trains, And Automobiles Of Our Minds

I recently watched the movie Due Date and it quickly became apparent that it was just an updated version of the John Hughes classic Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. My idea was to write about why it was necessary for certain things to be changed in order to make the movie more relevant to the 21st century. However, as I re-watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles for research I noticed something more intriguing about the movie, which could also be applied to Due Date. This new revelation is that John Candy’s character doesn’t actually exist and he is merely a figment of Steve Martin’s character’s imagination; a Tyler Durden to Ed Norton. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

Hart’s Random Musings On A Spring Morning

We thought about posting a new Happy Friday, but then we looked at what was going on and realized that it would not have been that great. He’s a brief synopsis of how that would have gone: Japan’s under attack by Godzilla, some guy with a name I won’t be able to spell is pissing on Libya, Charlie Sheen, fun new site, fun YouTube video, Rockies off to an awesome start, JOHNNY BONES! Demotivator, and see you next week.  So instead we have decided to give some stuff I’ve been thinking about when I get tired of hearing about the tragedies of the world. So he’s another edition of Hart’s Random Musings! Continue Reading »

Sport

On The Way To San Jose

Do you smell that? That’s the smell of spring, and that means baseball! As you’re all probably aware, The Cru Jones Society loves baseball and loves writing about baseball. With first pitch later this week we can hardly hold our excitement and had to bust out our first baseball articles of the season. But first the best way to encapsulate the start of baseball is with this classic WNYX promo.

OK, now grab your cap, a hot dog and a beer, and let’s play ball. Continue Reading »

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