Author Archive

Movie

If I Could Make Any Movie

In a recent post by Dagger he described the experience of working on a film for the 48 Film Project. In this post he mentioned how there was that one guy who sucked. First I would like to say that Dagger was 100% accurate in his assessment of this individual, that’s not the point here. I think it was after the first meeting Dagger attended he was telling me about these people and he brought up how this guy who sucks said if he could make any movie it would be “Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.” This struck me as a stupid choice, more on that in a bit. What really stuck out in my mind was if I could make any movie what would it be? I have been thinking about this question off and on for the past year. I think I may have finally found my answer. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

Ponderings

I had these thoughts I wanted to put down, but they weren’t long enough for their own individual articles, yet they felt too long to be classified as Random Musings. So I wrote them out, put them together, threw in a few Random Musings, and have dubbed it Ponderings. Though looking at it now feels like it should read Ponderings, by Jack Handey. How cool would that be if we could get him to write with us?

The answer: Totes Magotes cool!

But he doesn’t, so today you get Ponderings, by Lee Hart. Continue Reading »

Television

Many Merry Years of Merry Melodies

 

I don’t want to become one of those “old guys” who complains about the shit quality of these modern cartoons. Oh they lack this or that or the animation looks it was drawn by monkeys, the monkeys who were supposed to by writing Shakespeare. I don’t want to be that adult, but it’s not easy. Oh sure there are some top notch ones late night like “Archer” or “Futurama,” but what about when it’s Saturday morning and need something to go along with brightly colored cereal I’m eating? Or Saturday afternoon when I want to watch cartoons?

So in my hunt for cartoons I came across the latest incarnation of Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck and the rest of the Looney Tunes gang in what they are calling “The Looney Tunes Show.” I was surprised by what this show was, more on that in a bit. As I thought about it though I should have not been surprised. Over the past two decades Warner Bros. has taken their beloved characters and put them in shows that were different than their classic shtick. Let’s do a run down. Continue Reading »

Television

5 Shows I’m Watching Right Now

It’s summer time. That means fun fun fun in the sun. Drinking on the patio until the moon goes down (or comes up on work nights). At least these apply to those who aren’t trying to finish a degree program. During a lot of the times I should be basking in the awesomeness that is summer, I have been sitting at this computer researching all sorts of psychological issues then typing up thousands of words about them.

I’ll be done soon though, and despite the lack of sun light, and what that last little bit sounded like, I am not that bitter. Actually I am a bit content because this also means I am able to watch the fine summer time television programming. And no this isn’t sarcasm because most shows are in rerun mode. There are a few new shows and some shows have a summer season (or their fall season starts early, whatever). Well, whatever the case may be I present to you the 5 shows I have been watching this summer, especially lately as my beloved Rockies have begun to upset me. Continue Reading »

Essay, Movie

The Importance Of Movies

Last summer debate raged over the ending of the movie Inception. I suppose before I go any further I am obligated to inform you of a possible spoiler alert. I will go ahead and just preface this by saying there are several of those throughout this article. Everything I’m going to talk about will be at least a year old. It’s not like I’m telling you how Harry Potter ends (though I’m sure most of you know that), or the big twist in The Zookeeper, or that JT and Mila Kunis can’t just be friends with benefits and end up falling in love. There is a real possibility I am not mentioning anything you haven’t read somewhere else on the internet, but just in case I have warned you and I apologize if I ruin a movie for you.

Now, back to Inception. The end of the movie had everyone wondering if Leo was in a dream or if it was reality. They were picking at every detail to help their case; the house was different, the kids were in the same clothes, the clock read 3:07 which can’t exist in dreams. Any kind of bullshit that helped them to find an answer. All of this bogged down every internet movie site and annoyed the hell out of everyone! Even the film’s writer and director Christopher Nolan who eventually said there is no answer. That’s just the end of the movie. Now shut up. I’m paraphrasing.

I figured Nolan would know what he’s talking about so I dropped it and moved on with my life. Then fast forward to the point when Inception makes its way to my TV and I watch it. I try to just enjoy the story and the amazing effects but I can’t stop myself from picking up little things that may tell me what really happens at the end. I can’t help it. But I’ve noticed I am not the only one. Continue Reading »

Booze

A Drink In The Springs

Colorado Springs is home to the United States Air Force Academy, a college hockey team I hate, some good friends of CJS and apparently some quality beers, well mostly. That’s right, Keithage and I made another entry on our Colorado Brewery Tour bed post. This trip took us south of our home and involved only three of the eight breweries in the general Colorado Springs area. Turns out we developed some of that responsibility stuff our parents always get us about. That and our lives are stupid busy lately and we don’t have the pleasure of taking more than an afternoon for our alcohol hobby. Alcohol hobby sounds so much better than alcoholism.

With a plan in tact, Keithage and I piled into the truck and headed on down. He left the fiancé home to do wedding stuff, or so he says. I think he was kicked out for offering less than ideal input. “Programs? Oh sure, just write the things on there and fold ‘em. I used to make those for the high school theater productions. They’ll be done in no time!” I can’t say that was the actual dialogue, but I bet it’s close. Continue Reading »

Music

The Punk Rawk Shows Of 2011

We ain’t got no place to go/so let’s go to the punk rock show/darling take me by the hand/we’re gonna see a punk rock band/there’s no use in TV shows/radio or rodeo/I wanna get into the crowd/I wanna hear it played real loud

I may have expressed once or twice my love for punk rock as well as my predilection for live music. So when I get the chance I always try to combine these two loves, and so far this year has helped me feed this addiction quite well. Actually this has been one of the best concert years for me as the bands I have wanted to see not only tore shit up, but were on tour with some fairly awesome bands.

I have been so blown away by these shows that I just want to sing their praises, and hopefully convince you to check out some of these bands next time they swing through, unless you buying a ticket somehow keeps me from getting one, then fuck you, you stay home.

Now, as the wracked with grammatical errors MxPx song suggests, let’s go to the punk rock show! Continue Reading »

Television

Watching People Watch TV

There is no denying the impact television plays within our lives. People often gather around it with friends, or discuss the latest episode, some people even use it as a sleep aid.  So it only seems natural that television itself would use television within the shows it shows. This is a device called a show within a show. These would be things like “Itchy and Scratchy” on “The Simpsons,” “TGS with Tracy Jordan” on “30 Rock,” or “The Muppet Show” on “The Muppet Show.”

This is a concept that has been used nearly as long as television has been around. I think Dick Van Dyke’s character on “Dick Van Dyke” worked on a television show, or he worked in advertising. I really can’t remember, though I did watch that show a lot as a kid, thinking about it now I am not sure why. Anyway, television existed which meant people on television had to be aware of it.

Lately I have been thinking a lot about the shows within shows, mostly about if I would watch the show. “Itchy and Scratchy?” most likely. “TGS?” Probably. “The Muppet Show?” Doi! But my brain is not satisfied with simply considering if I would watch the show or not, so I pieced together some of the other thoughts about a few of the shows within shows that have sprung to mind often. Now sit back, relax, and don’t touch that dial. Continue Reading »

Essay

How It Feels: The First Tattoo

It’s the Sixth of May and you’re probably asking, “Where the hell is Hart’s annual Cinco de Mustache post?” Well, it’s half-assedly right here. It’s not to say I didn’t grow a stache, because I did and it has driven my female friends away in, well, droves. Keithage’s, though, caught the attention of one waitress last weekend. She wouldn’t leave our table alone, and was all about him while practically ignoring me. She even took his order then left without taking mine. Oh well, it just meant I could watch the hockey game and not pretend I cared about what she had to say.

Anyway, I don’t really know what more I can write about this holiday every year. I’ll start brainstorming and plan something for next year, but for this all you get is that picture above and a song.

I thought I would instead talk about another change my body recently went through. Continue Reading »

Movie

The Planes, Trains, And Automobiles Of Our Minds

I recently watched the movie Due Date and it quickly became apparent that it was just an updated version of the John Hughes classic Planes, Trains, and Automobiles. My idea was to write about why it was necessary for certain things to be changed in order to make the movie more relevant to the 21st century. However, as I re-watched Planes, Trains, and Automobiles for research I noticed something more intriguing about the movie, which could also be applied to Due Date. This new revelation is that John Candy’s character doesn’t actually exist and he is merely a figment of Steve Martin’s character’s imagination; a Tyler Durden to Ed Norton. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

Hart’s Random Musings On A Spring Morning

We thought about posting a new Happy Friday, but then we looked at what was going on and realized that it would not have been that great. He’s a brief synopsis of how that would have gone: Japan’s under attack by Godzilla, some guy with a name I won’t be able to spell is pissing on Libya, Charlie Sheen, fun new site, fun YouTube video, Rockies off to an awesome start, JOHNNY BONES! Demotivator, and see you next week.  So instead we have decided to give some stuff I’ve been thinking about when I get tired of hearing about the tragedies of the world. So he’s another edition of Hart’s Random Musings! Continue Reading »

Sport

On The Way To San Jose

Do you smell that? That’s the smell of spring, and that means baseball! As you’re all probably aware, The Cru Jones Society loves baseball and loves writing about baseball. With first pitch later this week we can hardly hold our excitement and had to bust out our first baseball articles of the season. But first the best way to encapsulate the start of baseball is with this classic WNYX promo.

OK, now grab your cap, a hot dog and a beer, and let’s play ball. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

101 Ways To Annoy Hart (Part 4)

One of the joys of the corporate world is gaining an email that a ton of people suddenly have access to. I now get all sorts of emails I never would have gotten before, ok that’s not entirely true since I made the mistake of letting my grandma know my email. One of these splendid emails I got the other day was entitled 101 Small Pleasures You Can Enjoy Everyday. At first I was optimistic and thought, “Aw, this is pleasant.” Then I read the list and I slowly became filled with rage at just how stupid and ridiculous some of these things are. I felt it was my duty to share this list as well as the problems that exist within it. As it turns out I had more to say on these things than I anticipated so I have broken it into 4 parts. I now present to you the final stupid ass part. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

101 Ways To Annoy Hart (Part 3)

One of the joys of the corporate world is gaining an email that a ton of people suddenly have access to. I now get all sorts of emails I never would have gotten before, ok that’s not entirely true since I made the mistake of letting my grandma know my email. One of these splendid emails I got the other day was entitled 101 Small Pleasures You Can Enjoy Everyday. At first I was optimistic and thought, “Aw, this is pleasant.” Then I read the list and I slowly became filled with rage at just how stupid and ridiculous some of these things are. I felt it was my duty to share this list as well as the problems that exist within it. As it turns out I had more to say on these things than I anticipated so I have broken it into 4 parts. I now present to you the third part. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

101 Ways To Annoy Hart (Part 2)

One of the joys of the corporate world is gaining an email that a ton of people suddenly have access to. I now get all sorts of emails I never would have gotten before, ok that’s not entirely true since I made the mistake of letting my grandma know my email. One of these splendid emails I got the other day was entitled 101 Small Pleasures You Can Enjoy Everyday. At first I was optimistic and thought, “Aw, this is pleasant.” Then I read the list and I slowly became filled with rage at just how stupid and ridiculous some of these things are. I felt it was my duty to share this list as well as the problems that exist within it. As it turns out I had more to say on these things than I anticipated so I have broken it into 4 parts. I now present to you the second part. Continue Reading »

Nonsense

101 Small Ways To Annoy Hart (Part 1)

One of the joys worst things ever of the corporate world is gaining an email that a ton of people suddenly have access to. I now get all sorts of emails I never would have gotten before, ok that’s not entirely true since I made the mistake of letting my grandmother know my email. One of these splendid emails I got the other day was entitled 101 Small Pleasures You Can Enjoy Everyday. At first I was optimistic and thought, “Aw, this is pleasant.” Then I read the list and I slowly became filled with rage at just how stupid and ridiculous some of these things are. I felt it was my duty to share this list as well as the problems that exist within it. As it turns out I had more to say on these things than I anticipated so I have broken it into 4 parts. I present to you the first part. Continue Reading »

Music

Hart’s Walkman

Maybe it’s the dawning of a new year or maybe it was the Salt N’ Pepa and TLC rocking the pub the other night, whatever it was it has caused some nostalgia in me and I was thinking about some of the awesome (read: awful) music I used to spend a lot of my time listening to. Turns out I used to be into a lot of non-threatening rap music which is odd considering now my iPod is filled with a lot of angry punk rock chalk full of violent imagery.

How far I have come. Continue Reading »

Holiday

Lee S. Hart’s 2011 Predictions

Dagger came up to me last week and said, “I would like it if you wrote a predictions post.” I said, “I knew you were going to say that.” Then he sighed and rolled his rolls eyes. I’m sure he died a little inside as well. So I put the puns away and pulled out my crystal ball and peered into the future. Ok it was a baseball and I threw it at a Jump To Conclusions Mat. Either way I did what I had to in order to make some perdictions about the future. Continue Reading »

Movie

I May Be Wasting My Netflix Subscription

One of the biggest comedic influences in my life has been Saturday Night Live. I recall watching back in the early 90’s, and not getting most of the jokes, but I knew this was a show that would be important in my life. So I continued to watch through the years and eventually I starting getting the jokes. I found that my recent movie watching habits all stem from this SNL influence. In the last week I watched four movies that were new to me and three of those stared SNL cast members (the other was Sherlock Holmes). However, despite the SNL connection, I noticed these movies varied drastically in their overall quality and in their comedic quality, that’s a real thing, I swear. Continue Reading »

Booze, Field Trip

Let’s Get A Dam Beer

There are approximately 110 breweries and brew pubs in Colorado. I know this because Friend of CJS Keithage bought me a map of all of them throughout the state. At that moment we made it our new goal to visit them all. So with 70 some under our belts and a free Saturday (the first one in months) we decided to cross some more off the list. The destinations for this particular Saturday were the sleepy mountain towns of Frisco, Dillon, Keystone and Idaho Springs.

For those of you unfamiliar with the geography of Colorado, those places are roughly an hour west of Denver. That far away meant that we would definitely need a designated driver, so we enlisted the aid of Mama Hart. She was a good sport about it so we bought her lunch. And because the more the merrier, my sister and her boyfriend came along too. Continue Reading »

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