Archive for the 'Booze' Category


CJS Product Review: The Foam Dome

Realistic depiction.

The foam dome will be the last of the three new drinking products we test drove during the annual CJS Rendezvous in Tucson, Arizona. The concept of the foam dome is a simple one: take one hat, attach cup holders to the sides, and add two straws that come together in a “T” shape whose business end goes to your waiting thirsty mouth. The flabongo, and pool pong racks both earned praise from CJS, will the foam dome fare as well? Continue Reading »


CJS Product Review: Pool Pong

And God said to Noah, “We need two of every beer.”

I remember a time where playing Beirut in a pool involved lugging a table into the pool. In our experience, we haven’t found a place that doesn’t frown upon this idea. Since we spend all of our time working or writing about cartoon villains, fast food places, and comedy club jerks; we were unable to think of a better option than bringing a table into the pool. Fortunately somebody did have the time to figure out a solution, and they came up with the Pool Pong Rack.

So we took a break from complaining about and praising things out of our control, threw on our swim trunks, grabbed a 24 pack of beer, and put the Pool Pong Rack to the test. So I now present to you the next piece in the CJS product review series: The Pool Pong Rack. Continue Reading »


CJS Product Review: Flabongo

The Flabongo! 

Since the CJS Crew doesn’t get together all that often (living in two different states will sadly cause that), we thought we’d take our opportunity to summon our collective goodwill and provide our readers with an important community service. Namely, we used our time together to try out products we know are important to our readership.

Today, and in the two days to follow, we’re providing you with vital product reviews of the novelty drinking goods you can utilize during your next tailgate, pool party, or boring Sunday afternoon. The timing is perfect considering next week’s Confessional covers alcohol too! We tested these products extensively and are here to give you the insight you crave. Look for Lee S. Hart tomorrow and Senor Limon on Thursday with reviews of the products they purchased. Today, we’ll start with a product that made its first appearance on the Cru Jones Society in Happy Friday #6. I’m talking of course about the incomparable Flabongo. Continue Reading »


6 Great Fast Food Burgers

 Like a beacon in the night.

We here at CJS are fans of many things, Movies, music, Cartoons and breakfast cereal all among them, today I’ll be exploring one of everyone’s favorite mainstay items of American life.  The simple, the flagrantly unhealthy, and the delicious fast food hamburger, lets have a look at a few of my favorites, and why I like them.

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Booze, Confessional

Monday Confessional (on Tuesday): Food Weirdos

It’s like an updated Jughead comic

Never being ones for convention, here we are only four weeks into the Monday Confessional and we’ve already moved it to Tuesday for just this week. We’re iconoclasts, I tell ya’! And judging by the responses to this week’s question, most of you all are too. We received many excellent/stomach churning food combinations in response to last week’s question: What are the weird food combinations that you (and it seems like only you) like? As always, CJS Staff answers lead us off and yours are below. Next week’s question is at the bottom. Let’s do it. Continue Reading »

Booze, Confessional

Monday Confessional: The Hangover Cure

Coffee?  She should know better.

It’s the second Monday of 2009, and time to kick off our new feature: Question of the week. We’ve been pleasantly surprised with the number of reader responses ranging from the practical: Gatorade and over the counter headache remedies, the classic: hair of the dog and greasy food, to the just plain silly: not drinking. Whether you’re interested in scoping out some new hangover tricks, or just want to make fun of the guy who admitted he eats Menudo, read on.

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The Truth Behind 5 Popular Soft Drink Names

Good price 

The soft drink business is a multi-billion dollar industry. So it’s no surprise that I can’t go a single day without seeing a can of the stuff. And since the cans tend to be brightly colored, my attention is grabbed and I find myself staring awkwardly until it angrily asks me what I’m staring at and I reply “Oh, uh, um nothing,” as I fidget and look anywhere else. But as soon it looks away, I start staring again.

Sorry, the personification got away from me there for a moment. The last time I looked at a can I was intrigued by it’s name. I wondered where the name came from, and if it really was the best choice for a name. I mean Mello Yello? Do you want to remind consumers that your drink is the same color as pee? What follows are the origins of the names behind 5 of the more popular soft drinks. Now click the button, read on, and put it in your head. Continue Reading »


I’m Never Drinking Again

 Fuck my life

My jump back into non-Olympic normal life started with a night filled with drinks and punk rock, and it was great. My Saturday was more boozed filled, just as fun, but a little harsher. It was just the Saturday that I needed before this crazy DNC week. What? The week has been relatively calm? Oh, well, what’s done is done so read on. Continue Reading »

Booze, Nonsense

Answer Honestly

heh heh number two

In what might be an effort to make drinking more fun, or start fights, or create an opening to talk to girls the beer Molson Canadian has created new labels for the back of their bottles. These labels read Answer Honestly: Would You Prefer . . . then two options are given, these options are semi related, in most cases anyway. The first half dozen I had were questions that required no thought at all. The questions involved choices with obvious answers. Something along the lines of, “Would you prefer to bleed from the ears or not bleed from the ears?”

I would like to present to you the questions I have come across in my journey towards drunk, as well as my answers. Maybe we’ll learn that we have more in common than we previously thought. So let’s put the spaghetti in the machine and get this under way. Continue Reading »


Blue No Longer: Epilogue

Now open on Sundays 

Remember that scene in Swingers when Mike meets the cute girl from Starbuck’s at the Dresden room and then leaves seven horrifying messages on her answering machine – each more awkward than the last? He spends the next two days holed up in his apartment looking through photos of his ex-girlfriend (who looks eerily similar to a small woodland rodent) feeling sorry for himself. It’s not until his friend Rob (Peter Gibbons) comes over to drop some knowledge on getting over a bad breakup that he’s slapped out of his funk and able to re-join society. Continue Reading »


Blue No Longer: Prologue

 NOw open 7 days a week!

Prohibition ended 75 years ago, yet some remnants of this historical mistake have lived on. I am referring to what are known as “Blue Laws.” “Blue Laws” vary from state to state; here in Colorado “Blue Laws” prohibit alcohol sales on Sunday. That all ends tomorrow, and as someone who has alcoholic tendencies, I couldn’t be more stoked. Continue Reading »

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