Archive for the 'Food Sex or Cars?' Category

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Capstone Edition

Welcome to the final scenario of 2010′s Food Sex or Cars! We go out on a suitably weird note and remind you to make sure that you’ve answered all 15 scenarios, checked your work, and wait with baited breath for Tuesday, when we reveal the answers. You have until Monday, November 30, 6:00 pm MT to get all of your answers in. Anything with a later timestamp will not be accepted. On that note, good luck to you all on this last scenario. See you all Tuesday! Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Hidden Horrors Edition

We round the clubhouse turn here on this year’s Food Sex or Cars with yet another frightening scenario. These choices are fraught with danger, yet look so tantalizing on the surface, it’s hard to resist any one of them. So give it your best shot, and let’s hope you don’t regret it later. Reminder: Voting closes Monday, November 29, at 6:00 MT. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Hellish Edition

It’s Black Friday, which means for you retail fuckers that today is the worst day on Earth. To recognize your sacrifice to the weird middle-aged ladies who wake up at 3 a.m. to buy electronics, we dedicate the last three FSC scenarios to you. Remember: Voting ends Monday, November 29 at 6:00 pm MT. We’re on the home stretch now. So let’s get started with what appears to be the worst set of choices this contest has ever seen. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Mixed Blessing Edition

Now that you’re nice and full on the couch having endured that giant meal and what was almost certainly some uncomfortable dinner conversation with your family and guests, you feel a touch conflicted, no? Yeah, that meal was awesome, but now your tummy has stretched out and you’ve almost assuredly hopped on the highway to holiday weight gain. With that in mind, here are three choices that serve as their own mixed blessings. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Fantasy Edition

Thanksgiving is an overeating fantasyland. Lots of different kinds of starches, a giant bird that makes you all sleepy and toasty inside, everything is covered in delicious gravy, several different kinds of pie, and plenty of booze. So, in order to get you geared up for that onslaught of calories (which assumes you’re reading this as we actually post it, which is weird), we play a little fantasy game of our own. Here’s today’s second FSC scenario. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Good Morning Edition

Good morning, and Happy Thanksgiving! Since today is a good day (when do we ever get a Thursday off of work?) we want to start you off right with a nice selection of a fine way to wake up (provided you don’t cook your foot in a George Foreman Grill), a damn fine-looking but unassuming chap, and a quality automobile. Here we go… Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Mundane Edition

We close out the day with some nice middle of the road choices. Nothing to get real excited about, but nothing to make your skin crawl either. Calm things down a bit so you can start to prepare for the Thanksgiving meal in store tomorrow. So we offer you some comfort food, a comforting smile, and a comfortable ride. Go ahead and rock the vote, you know you want to. Remember we still have two more days, and voting ends Monday at 6 p.m. MST. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Piss Shivers Edition

We’re half way through this year’s Food Sex or Cars. The competition is getting fierce and everyone is chiming in with some great comments. Let’s keep it up! For the most part we have given you some relatively tame scenarios, well enough is enough and it’s time for a change. So strap in, read on, and if you need it there is air sickness bag in the seat pocket in front of you. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Mythical Edition

It’s the day before Thanksgiving and for those of us who are stuck at work still, it’s a good chance our minds are wandering. So for this edition we reach across space and time for these deep fried, beautiful, and super speedy options. Now may the Schwartz be with you as you make your selections. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Kosher Edition

As the sun begins to set on another day we look at three more things to either eat, bang, or be transported in. The Sixth Edition of our 2010 game brings you doses of dairy, smarts, and upper arm strength. So put on your thinking Yarmulke and once you’ve voted you can go enjoy some Manischewitz. Mazel Tov! Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex Cars? Palate Cleanser Edition

We can’t let you go to lunch go to lunch with those last choices still on your mind. We’re not that cruel. Well unless you live on the East Coast, in which case we apologize. So take these three less intimidating options of veggies, girl, or exercise and try to go forth with your day. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? At The Circus Edition

Day one of Food Sex or Cars has come and gone. It’s great to see so many people participating and having fun, but it’s time we up the ante a bit here on day two. We give you a child’s quick treat, a light tickle, or riding with no handle bars, no handle bars, no handle bars. Now get your vote on. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Throwdown Edition

Welcome to Round 3 of Food Sex or Cars! We close out our first day with a throwdown between some tasty grub, a spicy little number that talk good and everything, and a convenient way about town you probably have never considered. Good luck, everyone! We’ll see you tomorrow. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Sinful Indulgence Edition

Here’s your second scenario. It’s specifically designed with the ladies in mind, but to have a realistic shot at winning, you need to answer every scenario we present. So, gay, straight, man, woman… it doesn’t matter. Do your best, and give us your best reasoning. Here’s Round 2 of Food Sex or Cars. Good luck, everyone! Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? 1959 Edition

Welcome to the 3rd Annual edition of Food Sex or Cars!

The rules here are simple. We present you with a scenario, and based on the three choices, you decide which one you’d like to eat, fuck, or drive. You make your choice in the comments section and we tally up the scores at the end of the week. If you’re not registered with Disqus, you can post as a guest. Just please use a consistent posting name, so we can keep an accurate score. We’ll have THREE scenarios a day through Friday going up at 6:00 am, 11:00 am, and 3:00 pm. Voting for all scenarios closes Monday, November 29 at 6:00 p.m. MST.

We’ll reveal the correct answers on Tuesday, November 30 along with the winners. Prizes will be awarded to the top 3 finishers. For a more detailed breakdown of the rules and the prizes, click here.

But time’s a-wastin’! Let’s get to our first scenario. Hold your cursor over each picture to get a full description of each choice, which is important to making a correct choice. Good luck to everyone! Let’s play Food Sex or Cars! Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

3rd Annual Food Sex or Cars Competition! Next Week! Joy!

It’s that time of year, everyone!

Put on your thankful pants, bitches! Because Thanksgiving is here and that means the return of Food Sex or Cars! This year is bigger and better than last year with three scenarios per day, and even weirder choices. The fun begins Monday and carries all the way through Thanksgiving and on to Black Friday.

For those of you who didn’t play last year, here’s how it works: Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars 2009 Winners Revealed!

 The winners of 2009 Food Sex or Cars…

It’s the moment you’ve been waiting for. Inside this article is the definitive list of correct choices for all three of the basic human desires – foodin’, sexin’, and car-in’. It’s time to find out who is the 2009 Food, Sex, or Cars Master! Should you have any problems with these answers, take it up with us in the comments section, but we’ve run these answers through a world-class thinktank of psychologists, physicists, cryptiosimitists, and other really smart people. Our word is the last word.

Without further ado, here are the 2009 Food Sex or Cars results! Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Questionable Safety Edition

 In this case, what’s the least worst? Answer below!

Here’s our last scenario of the 2009 Food Sex or Cars competition. All of the scenarios are listed here just to ensure that you haven’t missed any. Voting closes at 6:00 p.m. MST on Monday, November 30. Winners will be announced on Tuesday. Don’t forget to answer the Monday Confessional this weekend. Our question to you was: What is the most played CD and DVD in your collection?  We want to hear from you. Send an email to and we’ll discuss them on Monday. In the meantime, here’s you last, and quasi-dangerous, scenario. Thanks for playing Food Sex or Cars! Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Revolta Travolta Edition

“Candy bar: Om nom nom!” 

Happy Black Friday and welcome to Round 9 of Food Sex or Cars! This particular edition re-imagines one of the most ubiquituous superstars of our generation in a new, totally annoying, and totally twisted way. So enjoy, and take comfort in the knowledge that this is the second-to-last one of these ridiculous things. One more today, and then we’ll reveal answers next Tuesday. Don’t forget to answer the Monday Confessional, the question of which can be seen at right. Let’s get going and don’t be a [Uma Thurman draws a big ol' square in the air that only John Travolta can see because he's high on heroin]. Continue Reading »

Food Sex or Cars?

Food Sex or Cars? Happy Hour Edition

Happy Hour Edition 

It’s Thursday afternoon as we post this, so you’re likely passed out, on the verge of passing out, or have whipped your television remote across the room out of frustration for Josh McDaniels’ idiotically simplistic play calling against the Giants (unless you’re CJS Regular Deuce). So we take you to Happy Hour with Round 8 of Food Sex or Cars! Continue Reading »

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