Archive for the 'Friday' Category


Happy Friday #102: Write Your Own Title Edition

Between Ron Burgundy announcing an Anchorman sequel and trying to figure out if Dagger’s hypothetical question about four legs would mean I have two wangs, my Friday has plenty of distractions. However, others aren’t as simple as I am, and for those people we offer our usual collection of distractions such as Lionel Richie, we know it’s him you’re looking for; a house straight out of a video game, and no it’s not Tetris; fireworks! And we may even teach you how to underline the fuck scenes! Enough jibba jabba, let’s rock this bitch! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #101: Survey Course Edition

Good morning, class. Welcome to Happy Friday 101. I’m your instructor E Dagger, and this class will cover the basic ways to slack off at the end of a work week. We’ve got a lot to cover, so please pull out your syllabus and note today’s topics: the NFL, rock n’ roll, frickin’ VD, lesbians (probably not what you’re thinking, or maybe hoping, you caveman) and big ass snakes. Let’s get started. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #100: Century Club Edition

The Ides of March have come and gone, hopefully you made it through without being stabbed 23 times, and if you were at least you’ll have the all the St. Patrick’s Day beers to help you through such a traumatic event. If we may ask, what were you doing that led to so many stabbings? We see the problem there, you left the internet. Well, that’s why we’re here. We come with the gift of internet links to keep you inside and away from Roman conspirators and assassins. That’s right, we do all of this in hopes of keeping you safe.

Oh, and in honor of our 100th Happy Friday we give you 100 links!


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Happy Friday #99: Hart & Dagger Edition

Unreal to think we’re almost at triple digits with our Friday institution. To celebrate this milestone, let’s all adjourn to the Hart and Dagger Saloon (goddamn obstinate signmaker spelled Hart’s name wrong) for Flabongo beers, gin rickeys, and Bagel Bites for all! Unfortunately for, well, everyone, according to CJS Regular CassieB, the Hart & Dagger Saloon sits in a ghetto ass part of Oakland, which is just as well, since we’re basically in the ghetto of the internet. Seriously, if you put the internet on a map, we’re in between a crappy bodega where the candy’s locked up and a check cashing place, down the street from a methadone clinic.

So instead, let’s celebrate Fridays like we always do, with juicy, time-wasting links! In today’s edition, apps ‘n ‘zerts, practical uses for cartoon characters, pointing out the idiocy of the highest rated show on AMC, the dumbest and most ostentatious fucking car in history, and much, much more. Happy Friday, sucka! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #98: Day Dream Believing Edition

Being back means you get all the CJS goodies you once grew accustomed to receiving on a weekly basis, and of course that means the collection of internet goodies we affectionately call Happy Friday. We’ve got all the CJS standards: Tarantino, Youtube videos, and of course BASEBALL!!! All in convenient clickable links to help you waste those last few hours of the work week. So remember how you missed us and click away! Continue Reading »

Friday, Holiday

UberHappy Friday: 2011 Year In Review

There are those who would say you can’t do an UberHappy Friday without doing a Happy Friday for the entire year. Those people don’t work at Cru Jones Society, and if they did we wouldn’t listen to them. Also they said you can’t put a Happy Friday up on a Thursday. Naysayers be damned! This is UberHappy Friday 2011! Continue Reading »

Friday, Holiday

UberHappy Friday: 2010 Year in Review

The last few days of the years is always the time when the internets like to look back at the year that was, and we want to fit in so we’ll be doing the same thing. Our primary resource, ok our only resource, is the goofy shit we like to call Happy Friday. Each week we would comb the World Wide Web looking for the best, oddest, and most interesting stories, or whatever strikes our fancy (fancies?) and share it with all our loyal readers. Now we have meticulously gone through each one of those weekly editions and picked out the best stories of the year. Don’t worry, we won’t bore you with more Kayne or LeBron talk, or bring up the other stories that have been beaten to death. What we do have for you are only the stories and time wasting videos deemed worthy enough for one mega year end round of ass sliding.

Now grab a drink, sit back, get comfortable and enjoy this UberHappy Friday (On a Thursday) 2010 Year in Review Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #97: He Who Rides Alone Edition

Welcome to the recap post from our last meeting. The official Guy Who Plays Mr. Belvedere Fan Club took a vote and it was decided all club members would refer to Mr. Belvedere as Brocktoon. It’s a way for us to identify other club members. Wait, which blog is this? CJS? Oh, well then, welcome to Happy Friday. It has been a long stupid week. If we can just get through this day then we can go home to our wives or girlfriends and start the weekend proper like. To help get to that point we offer a bounty of distractions, like punk rock and MC Hammer and of course the best time waster of the 80s, the Rubik’s Cube. So let’s drop that needle and play the song again. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #96: Sombrero Edition

One thing that we never learned to do during our hiatus was to not waste company time. We still managed to use the high speed company network to search the internet for interesting or funny websites and articles. This could explain our inabilities to get promoted or even raises. Oh well, that just means we have more time to spend with this website.

So here it is, our first real Happy Friday in several months. And this week we don’t hold back. We have Eric Stoltz traveling through time, game balls parachuted in, and Kenny, fucking, Powers. Plus some other stuff. So let’s stop wasting time and put the spaghetti in the machine. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #95: Back Up In Your Ass With the Resurrection Edition

Happy fuckin’ Friday, motherfuckers!

We mean that with as much affection and sincerity as you can possibly handle. It felt really, really good to log back in here and build an article. We missed this place, and since we’ve been gone since the middle of May, we have to get that weird musty smell out of the comments section where random vagrants showed up like this weirdo who bitched about Hart’s criticism of Big Head Todd, and this dickhead who dropped in from nowhere to make a snarky comment about my Jeep Wrangler article from 16 months ago.

Get outta here, you bums! The kings are back and we’re here to close out your week right, just like we did for the last time over 5 months ago. Inside this edition is an explanation for where we’ve been, the stuff we’ve written that you probably haven’t seen, where we’re going, and all the funky fresh goofiness from all across the interwebs just like you saw every Friday for 94 editions. So like we said…

Happy fuckin’ Friday, motherfuckers! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #94: Punky Brewster Approved

The week has finally come to an end, oh that’s why it’s called the weekend! And our weekend is filled with a birthday party, putt-putt, a bbq, some baseball, and pretty girls. Sounds absolutely lovely. We can’t wait for it. But first we have to put in a few more hours with the man. Doesn’t mean we can’t waste some of those hours with scary fighters, 3-D boobs, and some outer space insects. Let’s put the spaghetti in the machine already. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #93: Razor Burn Edition

It’s Friday once again, although it may not feel that way because many of you probably overindulged on Wednesday thanks to Cinco de Drinko. We used to love Cinco de Mayo until it somehow degenerated into an ever bigger amateur farce than when we were growing up. But still, it’s an excuse for gringos to drink margaritas and eat Mexican food, so there’s always that.

However, it’s now the next day and you’re probably hungover, full of indigestion, and wondering why you used that permanent marker to draw on your pencil thin mustache. We can’t help you there, but we can help you salve things a bit with this batch of links we collected throughout the week. So come on in! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #92: Virtual Babysitter Edition


It’s Friday which means it’s time once again to shed those work obligations, put on clothes you actually choose to wear, and leave the kids with that most trusted family friend – the television.

In this edition we’ll cover some news from your (read: my) favorite TV shows, news from the world of brunch, and, oh yes ladies, plenty of baseball. So kiss the kids on the head, grab that credit card, and let’s head to the buffet of Friday time wasting! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #91: Coolio Edition

1…2…3…4 Get your woman on the floor. Gotta gotta get up, get down. Gotta gotta get up, get down.

Word up everybody, so glad you’re here. It’s Coolio, put the flow back in your ear. This ain’t the fantastic four, but I’m still on a mission to see if I can get your attention.

If you remember that song, you probably graduated college at least five years ago. If you got a twinge of nostalgia when you read those lyrics, you probably are a dork.

Whatever the case, it’s Friday so it’s time to get your woman on the floor. Heat up that oven of hers with links about beer, sports, comedy, and disease (hey, disease!). If that don’t work, baby you can take your time do it right, we can drink some Jager do it all damn night! Slide, slide, but that’s the fact, got something brand new for that ass! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #90: I Want My Two Dollars

It has been another long week, on top of that someone decided to throw a tax day into the mix. We don’t have a cash refund for you, but we’ll do you the next best thing, links to kill some time. How that’s the next best thing we’re not sure, but let’s just go with it. This week we have for you chess boxing, Hank Williams, and some live action (sort of) video games. Now insert your coin, press start and try for the kill screen! Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #89: Blathering Blatherskites Edition

Flogging Molly once sang, “Today is the worst day since yesterday.” Well that day is not today. It’s Friday, it’s Opening Day at Coors Field, and there is a sweet ass UFC fight tomorrow. Today looks to be a very good day. And we hope to add to the goodness with a fresh collection of links including jokes from pretty ladies, AWK, and some Star Wars talk. We know that last one got everybody excited. Now set your phasers for fun, and let’s get to it. What? Phasers are Star Trek, not Star Wars? Whatever, nerd. Let’s just get to the links. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #88: Won’t Get Fooled Again

Another April Fool’s Day has come and gone. We were fortunate enough to not play the role of fool to anyone. We hope you met the same fate. Now we have a weekend ripe with colored eggs and the start of baseball. But before we get to that we have our weekly collection of links. To help you waste your day we give you cars, MTV, and more Youtube videos than you really need. Now crack open that egg and read away. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #87: Boom! Edition


Thanks to everyone for allowing as an extremely self-indulgent week here at the Cru Jones Society. Hart and I spend a lot of time in the trenches planning, writing, and figuring out how to promote this damn thing, we hardly ever reminisce about how much fun it actually is. I cleaned out my work inbox yesterday (more on that later), and found a bunch of emails Limon, Hart & I sent to each other as we planned the launch of CJS. So young and naïve then.

Enough of that, let’s get on with the links. In this edition: Sports, movies, condoms, and the science of farts. Enjoy your Friday, friends. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #86: Hangover Edition


Happy Friday to you all. With St. Patrick’s Day Wednesday, a friend’s bachelor party Thursday, and Dagger too hopped up on cold medicine during an extremely busy and weird week around CJS offices, we find ourselves with a plethora of different hangovers this Friday. Not to fear, your favorite way to nurse yourself back to health is still here to get you through the day. Helping us out this week: Lots of Rockies players, Manny Pacquiao, The Muppets, a brand new Keyboard Cat, and Bernie Madoff getting his ass kicked. Open your bleary eyes, take some hair of the dog, and let’s get to clicking. Continue Reading »


Happy Friday #85: Sweet Chin Music Edition


Greetings, Cru Jones Society Regulars! Welcome back to your favorite internet tavern for yet another week-ending belt of imbibed refreshment culled from the rows upon rows of the finest Belgian time-wasting hops on the planet. On today’s menu: How the City of Tucson plans to use its now vacant ballparks, the new “greatest generation,” ruining more of your favorite memories, the surefire winner of next year’s Best Picture Award. Pull up a barstool, and have a drink with old HBK and the CJS. Continue Reading »

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