Cru Jones Society

Since we’ve spent so much time this week discussing the best of the best, why not spend some time celebrating the worst of the worst? This Saturday, the day before the Oscars, your favorite celebration of achievement in shitty filmmaking presents its 30^th Anniversary spectacular. This year’s nominees for Worst Picture of 2009 include: All About Steve, GI Joe: The Rise of Cobra, Land of the Lost, Old Dogs, and Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen.

I’m sure not all of these movies are terrible, but I can say with certainty that I had no desire to see any of them except for GI Joe, and that’s mostly because Lady E wanted to see it. She wasn’t allowed to play with GI Joes as a kid, and therefore has always enjoyed the forbidden fruit.

Whichever film enters this *ahem* prestigious pantheon of suckitude, let’s take a look back at some of my favorite past winners. Not all of these movies are terrible, it’s just that… who am I kidding? These movies are pretty much terrible, but hold a special place in my heart. Let’s find out why… Continue Reading »

By this point we are all aware that I am essentially a child in a man’s body. Not so much because I act immature, though I do have my moments, but this young age of mine revolves more around my enjoyment of toys, cereal, and cartoons. Today I would like to focus on that last one. Continue Reading »

When the Oscars air on Sunday, most of the hubbub will surround the various fashion faux pas committed by celebrities urged to wear the nightmarish fantasies of batshit insane designers that foist bizarre, and insanely uncomfortable-looking twisted reams of gaudy fabric upon hapless celebrities hoping to be on the cutting edge of haute couture. For celebrity bloggers (a small notch below incurable lepers on the social scale), this is their Super Bowl and they’ll have a field day with haranguing these unforgivable trespasses against humanity. The world will weep for this incredible waste of time and energy.

Allegedly they also give out awards at this event, but we all know none of that matters (CJS’s week of coverage notwithstanding), considering after we skewer the event’s fashion choices, we’ve got a host to discombobulate as well. And this year we’ve got the unusual pairing of Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin. Continue Reading »

We’ll continue our Academy Awards week with a look at some of our favorite Oscar winning performances. Keep in mind my couple of years of high school drama in no way make me an authority on acting, but I know what I like. And this is in no way a list of the best actors to ever win an Oscar. That list would be filled with Daniel Day Lewis, Marlon Brando, and George C. Scott. No, these are just the performances that keep me coming back to these movies and want to check out other works from these thespians (sadly not as dirty as it sounds).

I can’t promise you I won’t give away any spoilers, but I will do my best not to. So consider this a warning. But with our pop culture, um, culture you probably know how these movies end whether you’ve seen them or not. But I digress, on with the show.

Now in no particular order, the winners are… Continue Reading »

We say a fond farewell to the Olympics here at the Cru Jones Society for two reasons: 1) For two weeks every other year, the country comes together and watches the same thing allowing for collective conversation unparalleled in the dry desert of fractured experience that happens in the interim; and 2) Generating daily content that everyone can relate to for two weeks is ridiculously easy. We’ll miss that.

Thankfully, right on the heels of these enormously entertaining Olympics is the cultural juggernaut known as the Oscars. Vacuous, petty, borderline evil people will debate about which celebrities looked worst on the red carpet while the film industry gives itself a big fat self blowjob on national television for all the great work it’s done this year (All About Steve notwithstanding).  So, to kick your anticipation into high gear, we asked you to look back at Academy Award history and share with us: What is your favorite Best Picture recipient of all-time? We got outstanding turnout in this week’s Confessional, so let’s not delay any further. Here are your picks for the best of the best. Continue Reading »

Release Date: June 10, 1994
Box Office Gross: $121,248,145
Rotten Tomatoes Freshness Rating: 90%
Pertinent Review Line: “Speed cinches its spot as the thrill ride of summer by providing characters to hiss at and root for. Jack and Annie actually manage to strike up a convincing romance even at hyperspeed and without taking their eyes off the road. It’s an impressive feat enhanced by the film’s knack — shared with The Fugitive — for serving up two hours of pure pow without gratuitous gore.” – Peter Travers, Rolling Stone 

That’s right. I’m claiming a movie that basically every critic liked and made over $100 million at the box office is totally underrated. “You’re defending popular blockbuster Speed,” asked an incredulous Lady E the other night. That’s right, baby! You probably enjoyed this movie way back when, but you almost certainly cannot remember why. That’s why I’m here. Continue Reading »

Release Date: August 13, 1999
Box Office Gross: $66,384,775
Rotten Tomatoes Freshness Rating: 79%
Pertinent Review Line: “Bowfinger is smoothly directed and acted with glee, showing off the quick-witted comic spirit that is enjoying a welcome resurgence late this summer. (Dick, the diabolically bubbly Watergate satire, and The Muse, forthcoming from Albert Brooks, are in much the same literate vein.) But what makes it work, beyond a landslide of wily gags that would do a Mad magazine satire proud, is the rueful experience that colors its humor. Mr. Martin doesn’t flaunt this, but it shapes his screenplay effortlessly.” – Janet Maslin, New York Times

For our next underrated movie we turn to the Steve Martin penned, Frank Oz directed satirical look at Hollywood, Bowfinger. Eddie Murphy teams up with Steve Martin in this farce to make us laugh and perhaps something more to show why this movie is underappreciated. Continue Reading »

Once per quarter, the CJS will dedicate a week to our favorite underrated movies. These are misunderstood masterpieces, poorly distributed or publicized shoulda-been-giants, and movies that have gotten lost in the shuffle over time. Got a movie you think is underrated? Send us an email at staff [at] crujonessociety.com and tell us your underrated favorite. We might write about it, or we might even ask you to pen a guest column for us. Here’s today’s entry.

Release Date: September 26, 1997
Box Office Gross: $27,873,386
Rotten Tomatoes Freshness Rating: 56%
Pertinent Review Line: “At this point we can easily predict the death of the assistant (Harold Perrineau). He’s an African American, and so falls under the BADF action movie rule (“The Brother Always Dies First”). The redeeming factor in this case is that Mamet knows that, and is satirizing the stereotype instead of merely using it. His approach throughout the movie is an amused wink at the conventions he lovingly massages.” – Roger Ebert, Chicago Sun-Times

We open our new feature by taking a look at wilderness thriller The Edge. Anthony Hopkins and Alec Baldwin fight a bloodthirsty grizzly bear as they fight for their lives in the unforgiving wilderness. But is there more here than meets the eye? If there weren’t, it probably wouldn’t be underrated, now would it? Continue Reading »

The Cru Jones Society is proud to welcome our special guest columnist for our Favorite Films 0f the ‘00s, and a good friend: Rob Rector. Rob is the host of Natsukashi and has been a published film critic for 15 years. He currently writes movie reviews for the Cape Gazette and teaches film at Delaware Technical and Community College. We’re thrilled for Rob to join us. Please give Rob a warm welcome to the Cru Jones Society!

I know this is the part where I should be thankful to the folk at CJS for picking the opportunity, but no. This has been an incredibly hellish assignment.  C’mon guys, even Time Out New York crammed in 50 of them. There were films that, while perhaps not my favorite, are ones that I consider important. There is an entire host of documentaries that could have populated the list, as well as foreign and indie pics that deserve a list of their own. There was also a few Sophie’s Choice-like moments where I had to leave a few behind.

That said, here’s the rundown of more mainstream fare that meant the most to me over the decade, in no particular order. These are the ones I return to frequently for cinematic comfort food. And thanks to CJS for letting me delve into the corners of the cranium and sift through the detritus for the sake of film. Continue Reading »

As you read yesterday we are talking about the movies from the last decade we love. This became kind of a hard list to make since I watched a lot of the same movies again and again in a drunken or hungover state. I think over the last decade I watched Swingers and MST3K: The Movie more than any movie released from this decade. That’s just what we did.

Eventually I was able to make a list. But because it consisted of nothing but Will Farrell and comic book movies I had to throw it out and try again. I racked my brain and search many data bases and was finally able to make the list you’ll find below. Now let’s light the lights and get things started. Continue Reading »

As if you couldn’t tell from the incessant “Merry Gapmas” commercials and the increasingly powerful green and red merriment hurricane coming at you, December is here. And this December is special because we arrive at the end of the aughts.

That’s right, it’s the end of the decade, and that means weary columnists everywhere thank the gods of worn out article ideas for the gift bestowed upon them: Best of the Decade Lists. (And for those of you who quibble that a decade actually runs from 01-10 because there was no year “zero,” shut up. It’s our website and writing the year changes from 200_ to 201_. So there.) In that spirit, your faithful Cru Jones Society authors are compiling their own Best Of… lists.

However, since we’re in no position of critical authority to judge best of anything, and considering we spent most of the first half of this decade totally plastered, we’re modifying the theme slightly. We’re choosing five of our favorites over the next three weeks in three categories. Next week is music. The week after is television. This week we start with movies. And since there are only two of us, with three days of feature articles to fill, we’re turning over the reins each week to three special guest columnists. Who are they? You’ll just have to wait and see.

So, let’s get started. Here are E Dagger’s 5 Favorite Films of the 00s. Continue Reading »

Thanksgiving has come on gone, we hope you all enjoyed yours, but now Christmas is right around the corner and that means our local soft rock station is gearing up to over play their Christmas playlist, the cable network USA is going to put Elf on every night and of course TBS will have its 24 hour marathon of A Christmas Story. For this Monday Confessional we followed in this spirit of over indulgence as we asked: What is your most played CD and most watched movie? Let’s get to it so you can get back to watching your movie. Continue Reading »

It has been said a good story is dependent on great characters. This goes for movies as well. And if Halloween is any indicator many of us have fantasies of being these characters we see on the big screen. While some characters hold obvious appeal like Captain Jack Sparrow, Batman, and John Shaft, I often find myself wishing I was different characters. Here are the top 4 movie characters, who don’t have super power or are Muppets, that I would like to be. Now let’ get to work. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball. Because this is the last one.

The Fall Classic gets underway tonight as the Yankees square off against the Phillies in a match-up we certainly didn’t want to see, but in a contest that finally pits the two best teams in Major League Baseball against each other. Each team is an absolute juggernaut and from a pure baseball standpoint, this World Series should be enormously entertaining.

And speaking of entertaining, your faithful CJS authors have spent the last four months combing through baseball movies and examined them thoroughly. While we didn’t hit every movie we wanted to cover, we did bang out 18 of them. That’s a ton of baseball movies to watch and in the spirit of our favorite game, we’re here to hand out some end of the season awards. Continue Reading »

The Monday Confessional is where we convene at the beginning of each week to share our experiences, unburden our souls, and give the CJS Regulars a turn in getting their voices heard by the world. This week’s prompt allowed us to share that special part of ourselves that cries due to the goings on of characters that are almost always fictional. We asked you: What movie makes (or made) you cry? Many of our readers didn’t fear the emotion and let us have it. CJS Staff lets the waterworks go first, and the regulars shed their tears after. Then we’ll give you next week’s decidedly less sob-worthy question. Grab a box of tissues, and let’s dig in. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: September 2, 1988
Box Office Total: $5,680,515
Team Featured: 1919 Chicago Black Sox 

“You get out there, and the stands are full and everybody’s cheerin’. It’s like everybody in the world come to see you. And inside of that there’s the players, they’re yakkin’ it up. The pitcher throws and you look for that pill… suddenly there’s nothing else in the ballpark but you and it. Sometimes, when you feel right, there’s a groove there, and the bat just eases into it and meets that ball. When the bat meets that ball and you feel that ball just give, you know it’s going to go a long way. Damn, if you don’t feel like you’re going to live forever.” – Buck Weaver

To most of us baseball is a game that we use to fill several hours on a warm summer afternoon. To Buck Weaver it was more than a game, it was his whole world. To seven of Weaver’s teammates, baseball was a paycheck, a paycheck they felt needed to and could be increased. This is the story of those eight men. Continue Reading »

Greetings everyone, CJS co-founder and former regular contributor Limon here, substituting for Dagger, who is on a beach somewhere enjoying some well deserved time with his new bride, Lady E and away from the fray of work, cold weather, and CJS. I’ll be filling in here and there for the next week or so along with Hart to help keep CJS trucking along in Dagger’s absence.

Like many of Dagger and Lady E’s family and friends, I made the trek from afar to be a part of their wedding. Like Hart, I had issues with my tux thanks to Men’s Wearhouse. They somehow managed to send my tux to the wrong branch located on the opposite side of Tucson from the one I had arrived at promptly at 10:00 A.M. Which, unfortunately was about two hours before I was scheduled to be on an airplane. Fortunately I managed to navigate construction and agonizingly congested midday traffic, squeezed on the plane with seconds to spare and avoided missing the rehearsal and following festivities by an uncomfortably close margin. I won’t get into excruciating detail, but the goatee wearing douche at the first Men’s Wearhouse, was completely unapologetic and didn’t bother to offer any solutions to the problem they created. Nor did he make any attempts to speed the process along. I had a thing or two to say to him, but I had to drive from one end of a million people strong city to the other, try on a tux and catch a plane in less than two hours, so I could do nothing but grab my receipt and run out the door knowing this one would be a photo finish. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: July 15, 1994
Box Office Total: $50,236,831
Team Featured: California Angels

“You can’t go through life thinking everyone you meet will one day let you down.” – Angels’ Manager George Knox

Everyone in Angels in the Outfield has been let down by someone or something. Whether it’s management, parents, fellow players, or our government’s weirdo rules pertaining to child welfare, every character has experienced disappointment on a grand scale. Sometimes all that remains is faith, and while we hope that someone’s out there looking over us, very few of us ever get to see their presence first hand. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: April 7, 2006
Box Office Total: $59,843,754
Team Featured: The Benchwarmers 

“That’s horrible, baseball’s America’s past time…that’s like saying you’ve never had apple pie. You’ve never had apple pie?” - Gus

Jackie Robinson opened up the game of baseball for everyone. Unfortunately some people cannot move beyond the cliques of high school and still do their best to not let others play. Luckily there are people willing to stand up for the losers, misfits, and runts. Continue Reading »

Every Wednesday between now and the end of baseball season the Cru Jones Society brings you a new baseball movie examined for both overall entertainment value and treatment of our favorite game. To suggest a film, email us at staff [at] crujonessociety.com. Otherwise, pour yourself an $8 beer, crack some shells, and let’s play ball.

Date Released: March 29, 2002
Box Office Total: $75,600,072
Team Featured: Tampa Bay Devil Rays / Big Lake Owls

“You know what we get to do today, Brooks? We get to play baseball.” – Jimmy Morris.

We don’t often know what happens to prospects who flame out before they get to the big leagues. A million dollar arm and a successful major league career happen for so few, attempting to make sense of all those who don’t get there would be overwhelming. But what happens when one of those many gets a second chance? And what happens when that second chance comes when you’ve now got a wife, a family, and a job to think about? Continue Reading »